One time I went back to a girl's studio apartment after going out with some of our mutual friends. I'd met her that night, and was pretty attracted to her until we got to her place: it was filthy. The bathroom was disgusting, her clothes were everywhere, the bed wasn't made and it was poorly decorated. As I stepped through the door and saw the mess, I subconsciously but immediately relegated her to the zone of "girls to bang but not date."
Contrast this with one of my ex-girlfriends, who always kept her place nice. She didn't always have the most expensive stuff, but she put thought into the way it was decorated, took care of her things, and created a living environment that I actually enjoyed being in more than my own. Every time I was there my experience was all the more positive because of the efforts she had made. I couldn't help but associate those positive feelings with her, since I always had them in her presence. On more than one occasion I consciously considered the fact that if we were to ever get married, I would be able to live in that kind of environment for the rest of my life. And while something like that would never make or break my decision to marry a girl, I know that those kinds of background influences play into our gut feelings about a person much more than we usually realize.
Some men can put up with disorganization and uncleanliness more than others, and I would be remiss to hide the fact that I am much closer to the intolerant end of that scale than most. However, consider this for a moment: you won't turn any guy off by being neat, but you will definitely turn off some by being a slob. So play it safe: clean up your shit, paint an accent wall in your place, hang some framed pictures and take the seven pairs of heels out of your car's back seat - it could make a big difference on your next date.
Gosh, I wish you'd written this six months ago! I had no idea what a big impact a messy place and car had. I work a lot of hours and I'm not home much, so stuff starts going into piles when I get really busy with work... and I kind of thought that was understandable. Then I met a guy I really liked and only after we got more serious found out what a red flag it was. So I dodge a bullet, just barely, but I wish I hadn't taken the strike against me to begin with.
ReplyDeletei am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
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call/whatsapp:+2349057261346
i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
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call/whatsapp:+2349057261346
Contrast this with one of my ex-girlfriends, who always kept her place nice. She didn't always have the most expensive stuff, but she put thought into the way it was decorated, took care of her things, and created a living environment that I actually enjoyed being in more than my own. Every time I was there my experience was all the more positive because of the efforts she had made.
ReplyDeleteIf you had married her, your argument would have been stronger. Not to devalue your efforts to help women in any way, but it must be said that women reading this will conclude...yes, the girl was clean and all, but she still got dumped. See the problem? Sure, there must be other reasons you and she are not together...but you get the point...
I agree with this actually. Everybody has pros and cons and unless you get very serious with the other one, that just happens to be one of her pros.
DeleteThis makes me slightly obsessed though. Where I live now is quite temporary - or that means until August - I hate my place, and my landlord has such poor taste I cannot possibly 'rescue' it by keeping it clean or whatever. The guy I'm seeing has a very nice flat, much more space and a cleaning lady. Do I still have to invite him over for the sake of it?
Right, but all else being equal, it is much better to keep your things clean.
DeleteI wouldn't worry too much about the quality of your place (i.e. how expensive or modern it is), because this is out of your control, at least in the short term. But you CAN control how tidy it is, so I suggest you do. You can still invite him over; if he is going to break up with you because your place is not as nice as his, you have bigger problems!
This advice also applies to men. Failing to maintain a reasonably clean living space is a huge red flag for immaturity and irresponsibility. It's as important a factor as punctuality and proper spelling in judging a person's character.
ReplyDeleteHear, hear!
Deletenew post please- miss you
ReplyDelete... how about we just hang out at his place?
ReplyDeleteI'm not saying this because I am too messy, but I usually date guys slightly older than myself who's working whereas I'm a student, and they usually have more space etc, so it's a better place to hang out. I don't care if his place is messy - most young guys' apartments are. Was there a specific reason why you went to her place and not your own?
There is episode of Seinfeld where George tells Jerry he likes a girl a lot but he's not sure whether he loves her, because after many years of dating, he "just don't know anymore". Jerry asks if he cleans his place when she comes over, whether he "just straightens up the mess or cleans the bathroom". George says he gets down on his knees and scrubs the tub and Jerry replies that "it's love" :)
ReplyDeleteI know it's not a definite indicator, but if a guy has invited me over and he knows in advance that I'm coming, I'll definitely look over the place to see if he's made an effort. Not because I'm a clean freak but because I see it as an indicator of whether he's really into me.
Do guys think about this?
I am neat anyway, but I always clean up my place before a girl comes over. Then I try to leave a couple small, unoffensive things lying around so that it doesn't look like I tried too hard ;)
DeleteYes, I think a lot of guys do this to some extent, and I think you are right to get a ballpark of a the guy's seriousness based on whether or not he cleans up for you. BUT, some guys will be just oblivious to the mess, and others might be so messy that the mess you see IS actually cleaner than normal. So it isn't the BEST indicator either.
Yup when I was reading this blog post my head was nodding in agreement the whole time but for the other way around. I am very impressed and pleased when I visit a man's home and it is clean and neat and major bonus if its decor is in the style that I prefer! I feel that how your home looks is a major reflection of you as a person, just like how you present, dress, and groom your body.
DeleteI once dated a man who had a nice minimalistic apartment with hi-end technology and nice furnishings. He is thin and muscular and well groomed and well dressed, his home matched him very well. My first time there though his bathroom had not been cleaned in a long time.. I playfully told him how I had to squat instead of sit (I know, I am so classy sometimes). It was not a biohazard, just dusty and dirty from lack of cleaning. Next time I was over, the whole bathroom was sparkling perfect. He did not say anything to my remark and he didn't have to, seeing that beautiful bathroom on my next visit swept me off my feet, as silly as it sounds. And it stays in my mind to this day years later.
Another date had left a living room closet open with a pile of jackets on the floor... my first visit to his home! I dumped him soon after. Coincidence?
"I subconsciously but immediately relegated her to the zone of "girls to bang but not date."
ReplyDeleteThe female version of the friendzone. Guys that complain about being put in the FZ need to take a long, hard look at their life and see if they have put the women in the GTBBND zone, thus being hypocrites. :P
I got separated from my husband 2 years ago. There was no communication between us. I was advised by families and friends to let go, forget the marriage and move on with my life. I didn’t want to marry someone else because deep down, I still love my husband. I was in so much pain and confused, until I read a testimony online on how Dr Odion reunion a broken marriage with the help of his love spell powers. I kept reading so many testimonies on how he helped to stopped divorce and bring back peoples ex-lover's to them, and my faith was renewed. I have to contact Dr Odion immediately, few minutes later, he replied and instructed me on what to do, after meeting up with the necessary requirement, 2 days later after he cast the spell, communication was restored between me and my husband. He actually knees pleading me to forget and forgive him. My relationship is now balance and my husband kept loving me every single day by day. His spells worked wonders and our relationship is now stronger then before, and nothing can separate us again. I visited so many website seeking for help, it looked hopeless, until I came in contact with Dr Odion the real man, who helped me to restore my broken marriage. If you're having similar problem in your marriage, you want your husband or wife to love you again, you have someone you love and you want him or her to love you in return, you are having any challenge in your relationship. Dr Odion SPELL TEMPLE is the solution and answer to your problem, contact him today via Email. odionspelltemple@gmail.com or Call or Whats-app him now +2347038832903..
ReplyDeleteI have had trouble just like you. But I went to the store and selected for myself the best vacuums cleaner that suits me. You can refer to the product introduction forums
ReplyDeleteExcellent article. Very interesting to read. I really love to read such a nice article. Thanks! keep rocking. Booster Seats
ReplyDeletei am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteor
call/whatsapp:+2349057261346
i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
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call/whatsapp:+2349057261346
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Most of these types of men are too nitpicky. None of my roommates have ever lifted a finger but have the audacity, (they do things like urinate on the toilet) to complain TO ME AS IF IT IS MY JOB that is it not clean. I say if you don't like it, go away. Women were not designed to look pretty for you or clean up after you.
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