tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post2897527399465448372..comments2024-03-18T05:54:22.734-07:00Comments on The Rules Revisited: How to Date as a VirginAndrewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09266216180030320537noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-5068977198980466682022-01-18T04:41:07.793-08:002022-01-18T04:41:07.793-08:00You've written a very useful article about sis...You've written a very useful article about <a href="https://www.sisterwives.com/" rel="nofollow">sister wives dating</a>. This article provided me with some useful knowledge. Thank you for providing this information. Keep up the good work. <br />sisterwiveshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17618210221647774165noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-80020976760344210932020-11-30T06:07:53.681-08:002020-11-30T06:07:53.681-08:00My ex-husband and I had always managed to stay fri...My ex-husband and I had always managed to stay friendly after our divorce in February 2017. But I always wanted to get back together with him, All it took was a visit to this spell casters website last December, because my dream was to start a new year with my husband, and live happily with him.. This spell caster requested a specific love spell for me and my husband, and I accepted it. And this powerful spell caster began to work his magic. And 48 hours after this spell caster worked for me, my husband called me back for us to be together again, and he was remorseful for all his wrong deeds. My spell is working because guess what: My “husband” is back and we are making preparations on how to go to court and withdraw our divorce papers ASAP. This is nothing short of a miracle. Thank you Dr Emu for your powerful spells. Words are not enough. here is his Email: emutemple@gmail.com or call/text him on his WhatsApp +2347012841542Isabella Lucashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18038322503500659964noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-78158006376618091092020-01-04T18:04:06.979-08:002020-01-04T18:04:06.979-08:00Oof well I'm sorry that it hurt, you should ac...Oof well I'm sorry that it hurt, you should actually fuck yourself with a dildo. Lol.ib 4037681998452https://www.blogger.com/profile/15453322902091607587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-90735104717236579132018-09-30T04:36:06.498-07:002018-09-30T04:36:06.498-07:00Thanks for every other informative site. The place...Thanks for every other informative site. The place else may just I get that kind of information written in such an ideal means? I have a venture that I’m just now operating on. and I have been on the look out for such information<a href="https://shoprichbeauty.com/" rel="nofollow">lashes</a>Akseosolutionshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09867569449246114187noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-776010449762874582015-09-12T07:48:05.778-07:002015-09-12T07:48:05.778-07:00Ok, I will give my two cents here.
I am a 31 yea...Ok, I will give my two cents here. <br /><br />I am a 31 year old female virgin. I am attractive and professionally successful and it has been my choice to remain virgin because I have never felt the level of attraction or chemistry I wanted to feel in order to have sex with a guy. (Or if I ever felt it, he didn't feel the same for me, regardless the virginity).<br /><br />And I fail to see why virginity should be an issue for me. I can understand that it might be an issue for guys who I might date, but again, if it's their fear of taking responsibility for the action, their fear that I might not be able to deal with the chemical reaction after sex, their fear that I might become clingy or whatever... it's THEIR fear, not mine. <br /><br />I know myself well enough to deal with my fears and I have fought my whole life not to base important decisions on fear, since this approach can only lead to mediocrity. My virginity is not going to be the exception to the rule. And if the guy I am dating cannot deal with his fears anticipating what will happen when/if we have sex, fine. But just to make it clear: it's not my problem/fear and I don't need to be "fixed" or to get imposed the mainstream beliefs. This attitude really annoys me and turns me off, all together.<br /><br />I have my own thoughts and conviccions. And they might seem weird for many people, OK. I can accept that. But I just won't stop being myself just to bend to the wishes of a person that I am starting to know. That would be the first indicator that he doesn't love me for myself if he wants to change me right from the beginning.<br /><br />Regarding the "when to say it" question, I'll also give my two cents.<br /><br />The times I have tried to delay the moment to say this, it had nothing to do with my insecurity, but with the fact that, in my view, it was way too soon to talk about sex (first date or not even that). That clearly showed me that the guys were not there for the long haul and I therefore felt zero commitment to reveal anything else to them. I think that this is just common sense.<br /><br />I think that in order to get the best deal in life (not only talking about relationships here) you need to risk to end up with nothing. And I know that not everybody is willing to take this risk or ready for this approach. In fact, almost nobody is. But in my view there is no other way to greatness. And life is too short not to, at least, try it. <br /><br />;-) Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-53746105479892540432015-05-05T05:16:59.820-07:002015-05-05T05:16:59.820-07:00Yes have been for years due to bad cramps Yes have been for years due to bad cramps Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-90382394784551921282015-05-04T15:49:58.738-07:002015-05-04T15:49:58.738-07:00Anon - r u on birth control?Anon - r u on birth control?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01635860436924542629noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-29993581417619154242015-05-03T12:01:43.873-07:002015-05-03T12:01:43.873-07:00I'm a 20 year old virgin, my virginity doesn&#...I'm a 20 year old virgin, my virginity doesn't meen anything special to me, actually I find the hole idea of penetrative sex being this huge goal for a woman really stupid! I don't considdered myself a virgin because I have been having sex with myself for quit some time by now, and I know my body well and feel great in my own skin. The only reason I waited was to get emotionally mature to have sex, which I have been for about a year or so. Before this I turned down several suggestions of having sex evan though I physically wanted to, it just felt wrong in my head, and I am proud that I listened to my head instead of rushing into things I weren't ready for. <br />Past the last year I have been dating a couple of guys, and a few days ago I went on a date with this really great guy! He invited me to his place, which I politely declained to which he responded "well maybe another time". The date ended with a kiss, and already the same night he texted me to know if I got home safely and to ask for a second date. I really want to get to know him, and since my standards are really high I rarely find a guy whom I'm willing to invest time in! Right, I've set the scene, now my question is, for how long should I wait until having sex with him? If he even wants to when he finds out that I'm a virgin? The thing is that I don't want to have cassual sex with this guy, because I'm looking for something serious. I really just want to know how to deal with this if not with this guy then with another one in the future :) (I appologice for my english)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-54815054647421374802015-04-26T18:54:58.812-07:002015-04-26T18:54:58.812-07:00Very, very well written and ENCOURAGING! I am a 27...Very, very well written and ENCOURAGING! I am a 27 year old female virgin who has never dated long term or kissed someone (consensually - I was kind of jumped upon after a first date, craved in briefly to advances, but had to say no and push him away...horrible end to an okay date). Talking about my virginity and dating history (or lack thereof)makes me nervous (I think...Where do I start?). I think I'm more insecure about my dating history and lack of kissing skills then my virginity. I feel like I am behind the times in those departments, but your article made me realize that if I had a sound reason for not dating, kissing, or being intimate with another, then I could confidently date others and discuss this subject just the same as any other divisive subject. Thank you so much. For me, I wanted to avoid the getting pregnant young like my mother and my her and myself proud by reaching academic and career goals; struggling to reach career goals and financial stability kept me focused on developing and taking care of myself; when I feel some stability in my life (only two years out of my adult life), I go on dates, but I haven't found anyone that I have connected enough with to go on several dates, but I have talked with one about my "status" and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be (so that's encouraging). It's scary to have financial stability as one of my reasons for not having sex, because I don't know when I will have job that helps me pays off my debt, pays the bills, and helps me buy nice date clothes; but when I do, I know I will be open to dating...and I hope I will be able to find a compatible man who I care about, am attracted to, who cares for me and is committed to me, and wants to build a life together with me. Shehttp://twitter.com/thisisshenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-2214012693284490042014-10-26T09:31:59.122-07:002014-10-26T09:31:59.122-07:00Continuing my previous post,
Whatever your reason...Continuing my previous post,<br /><br />Whatever your reasons for never being in a relationship at age 24, remember there are lots of others like you. Our society makes people think everyone has been in a bunch of relationships by the time they've graduated high school. Nothing could be further from the truth. Many high quality people spent their teens and the twenties in school, working hard towards their future. There wasn't time for dating or relationships. Many of my peers didn't marry until their late 30s, if at all. You have plenty of time to find someone. Even if you want children you have plenty of time. Truth is, even for myself, I haven't even put the idea of hooking up completely off the table. I'm not actively looking, but if someone came along who blew me away I wouldn't say no. As I couldn't are less about having children (never did actually) my age wouldn't be an issue. The thing is, I never did and won't lower my standards just to avoid being alone. That's a colossal mistake for anyone. I suspect many of those who are virgins into their 20s, 30s, and beyond are simply people with rather high standards, not people who have some major flaw.<br /><br />Finally, our society is obsessed with youth, but in many don't fully develop until late in life. I really never came into my own until my 40s. Others I knew are similar late starters. This doesn't mean we were immature children before that. It just means we didn't fully develop our personalities and sense of ourselves until much later than is considered usual. Bottom line is don't give into societal pressure to do things you don't feel you're ready for. In my mind, if a person is a virgin for the right reasons, it's a virtue, not a curse. You just need to find someone else who feels the same.Joehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07400924566031414822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-51257350928986284852014-10-26T09:29:25.131-07:002014-10-26T09:29:25.131-07:00I just discovered this blog, so maybe my reply is ...I just discovered this blog, so maybe my reply is a little late. Anyway, I was/am in the same boat. Back when I was 20, I fell for someone (she was in her senior year at high school, I was in my second year at college). Unfortunately, it didn't work out. I'm not sure of the reasons. We both got along as friends for over a year, saw each other every day at school, and there was mutual attraction. I suspect we were both too shy and unable to admit our feelings for each other, so it never went to the next level. Whatever the reason, the whole thing ended horribly. Since then, I haven't found anyone I would even want to date, never mind commit to a long-term relationship involving sex. Yes, she was that attractive to me in every way. Nobody since has even remotely compared to her. Therefore, I just lost interest in looking as everyone I met would have been a huge step down in looks, brains, and personality. By my mid 30s I accepted I would never hook up, and came to terms with it. I'm 51 now.<br /><br />It sounds to me like you have very high standards and/or perhaps very unusual tastes. Both are true in my case. That could easily account for people remaining virgins for long time (perhaps indefinitely) without anything being wrong with them in the conventional sense. Sure, I could have hooked up and had sex if I wanted to. I did have others interested in me from time to time, but they just weren't what I was looking for. The fact that I found at least one person who I would have wanted tells me my standards aren't totally unrealistic, just very high. My choices were to lower my standards, or remain single. I choose the latter. I don't really regret this decision. The alternative would have been settling. That would have been unfair to me, and unfair to the person I settled with.<br /><br />You're under no obligation to give anyone your dating history, at least not until you've known them a while. Truth is I never even told my parents, or anyone else, about the girl I fell for until ten years after the fact. I felt it was our business alone, not anyone else's. Why a person's dating history or sex life should be public is beyond me. I feel you should only share that info with someone once you're involved in a long term relationship, but not with strangers, and not with casual friends.Joehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07400924566031414822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-43565418815684690852014-09-29T08:20:18.394-07:002014-09-29T08:20:18.394-07:00It is by not compromising your integrity that you ...It is by not compromising your integrity that you resolve the "problem." Otherwise yur values are meaningless and you lose your sense of purpose.Jo Hhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16409937981220350630noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-50610666090753184012014-09-29T03:32:55.596-07:002014-09-29T03:32:55.596-07:00You can't resolve this without compromising in...You can't resolve this without compromising integrity. You are right, the numbers don't add up and I believe many women will not marry even though they would like to because of the issue you have described. Some women marry non-Christians because they want a husband and children. Of course God doesn't abandon these people and you can continue to worship him and serve him and love him and raise your children to know him, but marrying a non-Christian is not a choice I could make. In line with this blog post, I know my identity and it doesn't include marrying a non-Christian. Probably means I'm going to stay single.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-68428571654074586632014-09-29T03:21:28.758-07:002014-09-29T03:21:28.758-07:00Really honest and helpful article. You have addre...Really honest and helpful article. You have addressed the main issue about the choices we make, why we make those choices and how we can feel pressured by the various cultures we are part of. Sexual behaviour, beliefs and ideas about sexual morality are a part of each person's identity. Maturity means exploring and analysing those values for ourselves.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-82009131986582802352014-08-12T10:12:45.246-07:002014-08-12T10:12:45.246-07:00I'm a virgin agnostic-atheist male waiting til...I'm a virgin agnostic-atheist male waiting till marriage. Non-religious virgins are so rare that it's troubling to realize that so many of the people who pride themselves on the use of reason to find their answers in life seem to behave so unreasonably when it comes to such an important aspect of their lives. Glad to know that there are a couple of others out there who think like me.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15451535544667456781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-90326873282546805972014-08-12T09:44:52.366-07:002014-08-12T09:44:52.366-07:00As a guy who's a virgin & believes in wait...As a guy who's a virgin & believes in waiting till marriage, & looking for the same in a girl, I'd always prefer to know ASAP whether a girl is a virgin or not, otherwise it'd just be a waste of time for both.<br /><br />On the other hand, knowing that a girl is waiting for marriage would cause most casual guys to run for the door immediately, some might stick around for a couple of weeks, may be a couple of months (if they are REALLY patient or desperate or have some kind of "virgin fetish") in the hopes of changing your mind but eventually, they'll get the message & leave, if you don't budge.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15451535544667456781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-4740511820007009222014-08-01T05:04:31.780-07:002014-08-01T05:04:31.780-07:00Virginity itself is less a problem than the reason...Virginity itself is less a problem than the reason for it... if the reason is a genuine commitment to a religious/spiritual standard, then the real turn-off to most men will actually be the religious/spiritual beliefs themselves. Most people in the US still claim a belief in a deity and have some religious identity, but most are led far more by secular ideals and values. This is evidenced by the fact that most mainstream religions don't officially condone sex outside of marriage, and yet it is the norm for most who practice, er, identify with those very religions. So for those who are more sincere in their beliefs, there can be a view that they are, well, fanatical. It will be assumed they will be incompatible in other ways. The woman may intend to stay a virgin until marriage, and while many men will wait a bit, most won't make the commitment of marriage without sex first.<br /><br />The solution seems to find someone who holds the same convictions with the same seriousness you do...but the next problem is how much that shrinks the dating pool, especially as a woman. <br /><br />This is my observation - women tend to be more religious than men, as far as being devoted enough to regularly attend some place of worship and adhere to the moral standards promoted by it. This means places of worship have very small dating pools of single men. The men have their pick, and the more devoted ones will marry rather early (likely because of sex). However, since there are not enough men to go around, not all the women will marry young from this small selection of men. So there's a sizable pool of women who are not necessarily undesirable in what this blog claims are the most significant aspects of attractiveness, but they have a major incompatibility with most men still - that of being religious and adhering to moral standards no longer a "norm". <br /><br />So how to resolve this without a compromise of integrity?youdontpayenoughforthathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10022572280563474783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-79715884744391174182014-06-09T21:15:45.467-07:002014-06-09T21:15:45.467-07:00good point here about douchebagsgood point here about douchebagsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-30245624761063348552014-06-09T15:40:14.133-07:002014-06-09T15:40:14.133-07:00"How do you know when to give [up] your virgi..."How do you know when to give [up] your virginity This is another question that betrays somewhat of the wrong attitude. If you have to ask it, it suggests that you don't know why you are a virgin. If you knew why you are a virgin, you would also know under what circumstances you are willing to stop being a virgin..." <br /><br />This is actually great food for thought for anyone (like myself) who's still a virgin. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-49954680570501251162014-05-22T04:18:54.318-07:002014-05-22T04:18:54.318-07:00Hey Andrew! How's the book going? Are you publ...Hey Andrew! How's the book going? Are you publishing under an alias?martihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17193693641971902900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-12206414746777834552014-05-18T20:29:16.421-07:002014-05-18T20:29:16.421-07:00If a guy asks you that question, you could ask him...If a guy asks you that question, you could ask him something like, "Why would you say that?" and see how he responds. He would probably be at a lost for words. Then you could say, "It's still possible to be a virgin today despite the cultural norm." Don't go into detail about your own status. And if he asks if you are a virgin you could change the subject or say that you don't feel comfortable disclosing such information to someone you barely know. If he respects you, he will comply. Men like to figure things out so by you answering that way, it will most likely keep him questioning his assumption you've had sex without you actually saying it.<br /><br />Hope that makes sense :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16906040081900949622noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-20110259880965636142014-05-15T15:41:41.160-07:002014-05-15T15:41:41.160-07:00Anything I've said is just a repeat of Andrew ...Anything I've said is just a repeat of Andrew and Susan Walsh (check out http://www.hookingupsmart.com). <br /><br />I think for most women there is always that one guy that hoodwinks us and completely changes the way we see relationships. Those guys also turn out to be douchebags...I bet 6 months from now you'll be dating someone else and going "what the fuck was I thinking??" It is a good thing though because it takes away the rose-colored glasses and we end up with a more realistic understanding of male-female relationships. You get better...to find someone better! <br /><br />My email: kelseylys@yahoo(dot)comkelseylyshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01647621460057065769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-28433931158509942042014-05-15T15:03:47.399-07:002014-05-15T15:03:47.399-07:00You are amazing -u've honestly helped me so mu...You are amazing -u've honestly helped me so much in seeing things more clearly and really just made my entire day! I like want to email u to let u know what transpires haha -ur advice is great and I think you and Andrew should team up ;).<br />Funny thing is - I'm actually the same age you are haha! You're just wise beyond ur years :) and clearly in a good place -which makes me so happy to hear u found someone great and a guy u can trust to give urself to, that's so awesome and I'm so happy for u :) <br />Its so funny, I'm usually the one giving advice to friends on boys and maintaining self-respect but I guess when youre in the situation itself, sometimes it can be harder to see something for what it really is. At the same time, maybe that in and of itself is just a sign that this guy is no good/ not for me otherwise I guess there'd be no questions. Im definitely taking ur advice (and will be reading more of this blog) -i do feel a lil silly that I responded yesterday telling him it'd be great to see him, haha but i havent yet (and not planning to) so I guess that's ok, I'm sure he'll get the hint I'm not down with continuing this. <br />Thank u again so much - you're honestly an angel!Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04059177406505107158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-54713505337260369712014-05-15T12:40:00.005-07:002014-05-15T12:40:00.005-07:00The lessons on this blog are so critical to intern...The lessons on this blog are so critical to internalize! I've been there and I used this blog to improve after having my heart ripped out. Luckily I was still a virgin as well as you, and I gave it to my first serious boyfriend who I am still with. Anyways, you don't have to be mean or ignore him but no initiating contact or meet-ups. Put all the responsibility entirely on him and make sure he knows you've friendzoned the fuck out of him. Sadly, he will probably disappear when he realizes it. He might step up to the plate--guys are idiots for sure--but it is unlikely and don't count on it.<br /><br />If you guys were taking it so nice and slow as you say, then why was he freaked out? He shouldn't have been if he were serious about you!! Now you know where he stands....its the same place you stood when that other guy was too serious about you. The biggest dilemma in relationships...The people we don't want want us; the ones we do want don't want us. Love happens somewhere along the line. <br /><br />You sound younger than me, I'm 23, so it makes sense I understand this a little better. Remember, ideally you end up with one person for the rest of your life...so the majority of your relationships and options won't work out. It is tough, but it is preparing you for your future husband!! :)kelseylyshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01647621460057065769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-61010786300170752102014-05-15T12:00:10.941-07:002014-05-15T12:00:10.941-07:00You're right -- with both this comment and the...You're right -- with both this comment and the comment below - you're awesome and I appreciate ur feedback so much!<br />I guess - without trying to rationalize the issue and also in recognizing my needs - I guess i just can't help but think to myself that his reaction would be normal for any normal guy though, no? I mean I dated someone before him that was too ready for marriage and moving way too quickly before we even knew each other! It was awful. Whereas this guy and I were taking it nice and slow and just having fun getting to know each other, which is what I wanted. After that talk and given that marriage was brought up (totally a convo I never wished to have that soon), I myself even got scared given that altho we were at the point of taking the next step it was also way too soon to where we really didn't know each other that well to consider something so serious as who we wish to marry. Anyways, your advice -- i guess at this point would you say there's no way to even going back to just taking it slow and getting to know each other? and therefore, i should just ignore him i guess? thanks again, i really appreciate ur advice!Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04059177406505107158noreply@blogger.com