tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post6486430636375868169..comments2024-03-18T05:54:22.734-07:00Comments on The Rules Revisited: Why Men "Fade Out"Andrewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09266216180030320537noreply@blogger.comBlogger129125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-87804641928646824732022-03-06T08:29:44.027-08:002022-03-06T08:29:44.027-08:00I was in a toxic and controlling relationship with...I was in a toxic and controlling relationship with my husband(Now ex), he manipulated my emotions and turned every blame on me, he crushed my self esteem and made me a shadow of myself. But the worst remains his cheating and lies, he cheated at will and denies it and calls me insecure. Thanks to this Cyber-lord ' hackingloop6@gmail .com, who's hacking services gained me remote access to my husband's phone activities and helped me with the evidence I needed during divorce. The spy-app is a secure device monitoring software that helped me to track my husband's web browser history, social media chats, and his phone’s real-time location. I was saved from further emotional trauma, thanks to this Cyber genius. hackingloop6@gmail .com, is also reachable through WhatsApp +1(484)540 - 0785, you can contact him if you're facing similar issues, and let him know that I referred you to him, his services are legit, legal and affordable.<br />Wholsomehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07842023347522615909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-83051377737522663132022-03-06T08:23:48.621-08:002022-03-06T08:23:48.621-08:00This comment has been removed by the author.Wholsomehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07842023347522615909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-73602444075480141972015-10-31T02:02:49.292-07:002015-10-31T02:02:49.292-07:00I liked your distinction on clarification vs. Init...I liked your distinction on clarification vs. Initiation of contact to determine directly whether or not someone is intetested. Only recently have I appreciated that no, Im not pursuing someone just because I met you on eharmony, we had 2 awesome dates which you prolonged, and then bam dont hear from. Ill never feel "guilt" about wanting answers.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10998846442477553569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-41328465613793105912015-10-12T06:21:55.229-07:002015-10-12T06:21:55.229-07:00This just happened to me for the very first time (...This just happened to me for the very first time (I am a man) and I can tell you that it sucks; maybe cos im old school in this dating game. I dont find the "fade-out" acceptable if you've had sex multiple times and talked about future plans together. I get that people change their minds (we all do); but the decent thing to do is just be upfront and say..."Hey dude / gyal, i enjoyed spending time with you etc. but this isnt working for me as im not ready to be serious blah blah. You dont have to tell him/ her why and anyone with self respect would accept this keep it moving. Aferall, why would you wanna be with someone that isnt feeling you anymore? I believe the reason people do the fade is to avoid looking like a jerk or a lier. Cos believe me most of them would have said lots of things and made the fadee believe their crap and bullshit.....these people have in-security issues and if you dig deep down, they have been messed up pretty bad in their past relationships. Men i agree are capable of sleeping with a girl multiple times with little emotions involved; but i dont believe this is the same for women (unless she is the ultimate player). I agree to the fade out after 2-3 dates and never had sex or maybe just once.... cool; I have done this and always make it pretty clear from the jump that I'm not looking for anything serious. If you've seen someone for more than a month and had sex multiple times during that period, the fade is a sucker and cowardly thing to do. You are basically an ass-hole.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-17104940658609555942015-09-24T12:42:58.292-07:002015-09-24T12:42:58.292-07:00I had two amazing dates with a guy, and we had pla...I had two amazing dates with a guy, and we had plans for a third, with a good amount of texting. We made out for over an hour on the first date, but we never had sex. But the day before the third date, the texting had dwindled, and he replied to my asking what time to meet by saying he wasn't feeling well. Whyyyy does this happen? No, we didn't have sex after the 2nd date, either. And trust me...either he was really interested in me, or he's the best faker ever. I never do a fade-out, and I wish it was never done to me. I get it after sex or that there might be body language cues that this is coming. I never got any of those vibes until he said he wasn't feeling well. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-26435464541565684432015-08-28T21:39:23.178-07:002015-08-28T21:39:23.178-07:00That's what Kate Middleton did. Worked for her...That's what Kate Middleton did. Worked for her as well! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-24631367736713848392015-08-25T05:37:24.379-07:002015-08-25T05:37:24.379-07:00Ok I get what you're saying but he could also,...Ok I get what you're saying but he could also, I don't know, just give me a heads up out of common decency? Is he too afraid? I'll never know, would I? Sure, it's his prerogative but just disappearing without a word after 3 years of constant contact is dishonest, disrespectful and rude. He hasn't deleted me off Facebook so why doesn't he just do it? It's over a month already and good news is I'm actually feeling a lot better. :) I honestly don't want him in my life anymore. However it seems quite likely that he'll contact me in the future and I don't want that. It's a dick move to just cut me off after everything we've shared and to me, he would be even more of an asshole if he says 'hi' out of the blue after a long absence. I would be able to forgive him because that's in my nature but I won't be able to forget. More importantly, I'm better off being with a person who wouldn't do that in the first place. :) Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-36491622149567577112015-08-03T02:18:45.151-07:002015-08-03T02:18:45.151-07:00I agree with Nikki. Do not reply to him at all, an...I agree with Nikki. Do not reply to him at all, and / or don't tell him the exact reason you've blocked him on FB- just be vague like Nikki said. His ego is hurt right now because it seems to him that you dumped him first.. that's why he is acting like that! He is going to tell you that you 're the best thing in the world, then he will probably fade again a couple of weeks later.. It has happened to me before particularly with guys I've met over the net.. A couple of guys have even sent me poetry! Guys are so immature it's ridiculous.Ewelina EUnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-31192822067313251292015-08-01T14:06:47.016-07:002015-08-01T14:06:47.016-07:00Women fade out too - thats exactly what I'm go...Women fade out too - thats exactly what I'm gonna do, I've had my fun and I'm moving on just to get me back in the tedious dating game - if I saved myself much longer id re virginise!!! Although when we have both faded each other out I shall probably just spit it out and simply message "friends?!"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-32848897269833683072015-07-31T22:01:44.338-07:002015-07-31T22:01:44.338-07:00I don't know...why is there a need for closure...I don't know...why is there a need for closure? I mean, what is there to close anyway? There's no commitment. He might have found someone else and is focusing on her and will tell you about it when it gets serious with her OR he can also not tell you, it's his prerogative. There's nothing going on between you two.Passerbynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-42234759022132608012015-07-27T20:05:55.484-07:002015-07-27T20:05:55.484-07:00I did not realize this slow fade was happening unt...I did not realize this slow fade was happening until yesterday when he stopped replying my texts (there was over a week gap between the 1st and 2nd unanswered text). We were all normal and so close before so I don't know what brought this on. To give you a bit of background, we'd been doing this pseudo-LDR for nearly 3 years with me being based in Asia and him in Europe. We actually started out as colleagues (so we have met before) then became friends and have a few mutual friends (I even met his best friend by coincidence). We'd texted on and off for the 1st half then the 2nd half, texts became more frequent and things progressed slowly but it was blossoming. It was a comfortable arrangement for the both of us- we'd have each other's company albeit online and we could have casual flings with other people. I couldn't and frankly didn't want to commit to anything serious until I had graduated and had the means to move. I know it isn't a rock solid relationship or even a real one but I thought we were friends first and foremost, y'know- that he would respect me enough to tell me he want whatever it was we had to be over. In fact, I had anticipated that if it ever came to ending it, it would be through a mature, adult conversation and that it was a mutual decision. I can't even be mad cos I feel so hurt by this selfish action- he gets to move on without a guilty conscience and I'm left feeling humiliated. Reading all these replies and the articles about the fade out, it's unlikely he'll respond anytime soon (seems to be common practice though for the guy to pop up after a long while..) but I wish to send him a text that will act as closure for me. I'm thinking in about a week. I'm not heartbroken that he didn't want to continue this, I'm heartbroken that he could be so cruel to just shut me off without an explanation. If he'd told me he (finally) met someone, I would have wished him well and respected his decision. We're both adults- we had fun so can't he act like one and say a proper goodbye? At least, do it as a friend.. <br /><br />Thanks for reading. <br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-33169055049963586542015-06-27T05:32:51.174-07:002015-06-27T05:32:51.174-07:00Stay away!! Abort mission. He will get you back in...Stay away!! Abort mission. He will get you back into liking him again and then do it all over again.. the fade that is. Seriously No Contact, or just say it's not for you now thanks. Trust me. Nikki Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05351067249091645742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-32599235635694923892015-06-25T13:15:28.090-07:002015-06-25T13:15:28.090-07:00Slow fade means not interested...he thinks he can ...Slow fade means not interested...he thinks he can do better or there is already someone else. Girls do not waste your time, it cannot be returned!!! Someone mentioned to wait a week and then move on. That is a great advice. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-8230123004373592562015-06-22T17:39:59.277-07:002015-06-22T17:39:59.277-07:00Also, why, if he's doing the slow fade, is he ...Also, why, if he's doing the slow fade, is he so upset that I've deleted him (which he hasn't acknowledged yet) and going through the effort of trying to win me back? Very very complicated situation! HELP! Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05477084265122203968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-91661579835040136002015-06-21T18:54:15.000-07:002015-06-21T18:54:15.000-07:00Not sure if this posted...I've been seeing a g...Not sure if this posted...I've been seeing a guy for three months, and within the last month, he's been doing the slow fade. I've completely backed off and stopped texting, and yesterday I deleted him from my Facebook. Last night and all day today, my phone has been blowing up with texts and phone calls from him. I've answered only a couple times, very limited. Not sure if I should just do the No Contact thing or keep it limited??Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05477084265122203968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-68564451093418800672015-04-02T14:09:47.103-07:002015-04-02T14:09:47.103-07:00Thats's beautiful. Sometimes the only way for...Thats's beautiful. Sometimes the only way for a guy to let figure out what he wants is to set him loose. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-5261720105142844982015-03-09T17:09:49.682-07:002015-03-09T17:09:49.682-07:00I'm female and agree with you guys (men). The...I'm female and agree with you guys (men). The beta males who can only have 1-3 girlfriends and no hookups, fwb, etc, in their twenties and thirties are less desirable, and I would much rather be with a man who can attract and have sex with lots of women. You guys are generally less charming and charismatic as the more attractive men, and we women who can also have sex easily with attractive men do ourselves a disservice to even consider you. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-7514498806757375662015-01-12T20:57:36.750-08:002015-01-12T20:57:36.750-08:00what does it mean when he requests relationship an...what does it mean when he requests relationship and goes for asking my expectations from a relationship and he suddenly vanishes through texts and when seeing him in person,he says lets discuss things in a right place as long as we are always surrounded by our friends????I am so tired of this attitude and need to know if that means a goodbye..plz help sooonAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-84120478968700240632015-01-08T22:27:47.970-08:002015-01-08T22:27:47.970-08:00A guy I have been dating for 6 months has started ...A guy I have been dating for 6 months has started to fade out on me. He won't make plans with me and is often too busy with work and family commitments to see me. I put forth a lot of effort to spend time with him as I fell in love with him. I hate this fading out crap. It makes me wonder what could have happened. Things seemed great. I am heartbrokenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-19158242976297021922015-01-06T09:00:35.547-08:002015-01-06T09:00:35.547-08:00A guy who seemed VERY into me abruptly cut off con...A guy who seemed VERY into me abruptly cut off contact over the holidays. It was a complete 180 from his behavior before: he purposely took it very slow with me, had introduced me to all of his friends, mentioned wanting to date me, etc. The cut off was out of the blue (something must have happened back at home?) I messaged him hello twice and then finally just bit the bullet and asked "hey. why haven't I heard from you in a while?" <br /><br />My friends told me not to do it-- as did your blog-- but I don't regret it for a second. The moment I sent the text I felt this deep sense of relief. It felt so cathartic to just pointedly ask the question instead of racking my brain and making up glimmers of false hope. I felt like I had more control and even if he doesn't respond, at least I know for sure now. <br /><br />The clean cut is so much better and more respectful than the fade out. When I've ended it, I always just let the other person know. It's only fair to them. I also totally agree about what you wrote about self-respect. Any dude who would act like this much of a coward is not someone I need around. <br /><br />-ElizaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-55299061280246648542013-12-10T07:42:57.443-08:002013-12-10T07:42:57.443-08:00#7 happens quite often.
as soon as the guy senses ...#7 happens quite often.<br />as soon as the guy senses that the girl is hooked, it is almost unavoidable that he will retreat and compare to other possible options. such is the nature of dating these days, women feel aggrieved for...putting out too soon and expecting commitment (!) without so much as a conversation about exclusivity - which normally comes before. <br /><br />by the way, women fading out also happens, in my personal experience I've had girls disappear after a handful of bangs.<br /><br />but yeah, rules were made only to be thrown out of the window, trampled on the floor, and mocked as archaic/old fashioned, ergo, the scenery all around us, unless we have our head in the clouds/ buried in sand/ up one's own backside (delete where applicable) is plain to see. we only reap what we sow, directly or indirectly.digrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09831488727504494584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-45454525320293709342013-11-09T13:26:54.006-08:002013-11-09T13:26:54.006-08:00well, yeah, that's just weird, after one or tw...well, yeah, that's just weird, after one or two dates. Most women don't really care if they haven't done anything sexual with the guy (haven't made out, touched, bjs, sex, nothing). I could care less if I never see those guys again, sayanora! The thing that hurts is the guys that get that, more than once, text everyday, see you multiple times a week, that your start really falling for, and then they "fade out." That hurts. But if someone is that into after one or two dates, that's just weird. korfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01846194856015283200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-54506897437851656562013-11-09T13:19:18.218-08:002013-11-09T13:19:18.218-08:00If you haven't had sex or kissed or been intim...If you haven't had sex or kissed or been intimate with a girl, then of course she doesn't care if she sees you again or not. what amazes me is how fast men dump women after being intimate. You can thank all your fellow guys for creating men women! korfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01846194856015283200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-36036268952234474702013-11-09T04:38:57.091-08:002013-11-09T04:38:57.091-08:00Guys don't ever do that. If they think there i...Guys don't ever do that. If they think there is a possibility of sex, they are not wasting time, lol korfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01846194856015283200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2882065480599769720.post-37796799281801360622013-11-09T04:36:13.262-08:002013-11-09T04:36:13.262-08:00This makes no sense to me. So in the other post, ...This makes no sense to me. So in the other post, it was guys falls in love fast and it's best to try to have sex with them while they're "hot" and within the month, but this post is basically, "Screw women that are stupid enough to have sex with a guy within a month" and they don't deserve even being told why they no longer get contacted. Men really are selfish humans, I'm beginning to realize that (should have already, they are the ones in fact, responsible for every crazy religious text written). korfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01846194856015283200noreply@blogger.com