I have been getting more and more e-mails for advice recently, and it can be very time consuming to read and reply to them. In order to help me answer you quickly, please follow these guidelines:
- Keep e-mails under 500 words. I appreciate that some situations are complicated, but start by giving me just the basis and I will ask you for more details if I need them. You can use Microsoft Word to get a word count (look under the "Review" tab).
- Tell me your ages and cultural backgrounds. This helps me understand and interpret the situation. If either or both of you are seriously religious (i.e. enough to affect the way you approach the relationship), indicate this as well.
- End your e-mails with specific questions, rather than just asking "what do you think?" or embedding numerous questions throughout the e-mail. For example, you might end by asking, "Do you think he is interested in more than sex?" or "Should I cut him off now or give him one more chance?"
- Use paragraphs, punctuation and a spell-checker. You don't need to craft a literary masterpiece, but if your e-mail consists of one stream-of-consciousness, 500-word paragraph full of run-on sentences, misspellings and typos, I will either ignore it or send them back to you with a link to this page. (If English isn't your first language, try your best; I will work with you.)
- Tell me what you want to happen. This is critical. Do you want a relationship? to get him back? closure? marriage? sex? I can't tell you what to do unless you tell me what you want from him.
- Tell me if you are willing to let me post your question and my answer. If you don't specify, I will assume that I have your permission to post the e-mail after changing the identifying details.