Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Why Getting Him Back Won't Help

I need to give some advice that doesn't fall strictly into the category of "here is what you don't realize about men" (or what men like) - not because I want to change the theme of the blog, but because the misunderstanding it corrects is rampant in young relationships, and hopefully pointing it out will free some mental space in the minds of young women so they can instead focus more on their misconceptions about what men want, or other more-important things.

I have answered dozens if not hundreds of e-mails asking for advice about how to correct a relationship after a break-up or a break-up attempt. They usually sound something like this:
My boyfriend and I have been together for over three and a half years. About two weeks ago, he told me he was questioning the relationship and thinks he wants to break up. He told me that he dislikes X, Y and Z about the relationship and thinks they are signs that we'd both be better off with someone else.
We talked about it, and eventually he changed his mind, because we were both more open and honest with each other. We ended agreeing to give it another shot, and to do X, Y and Z differently. So we're still together.
I am glad we worked things out, but now I feel like he has all the powerIt's like I got "almost-dumped." I'm not completely happy with the situation but I am also unsure about how to proceed. What should I do??
In other situations, one person breaks up with the other, and then (by either party's initiative) the couple gets back together, thinking that "this time it will be better." In either case, the important characteristic is that the relationship reaches or nears its end, only to make what seems to be a thankful recovery.

The main problem in these situations normally isn't that one person can't follow through with the promise to change X, Y or Z (though this too is very frequently true, and a close secondary problem). The main problem, and what most people fail to recognize, is that when a relationship nears or reaches a failure point, its limits are defined.

Prior to such an episode, each party could believe - and usually at least hoped - that the relationship was strong enough to sustain limitless difficulties. Neither party knew how much it would take to break the other's feelings or commitment. But a break-up (or near-break-up) changes that irreversibly. Suddenly one partner knows that the other's commitment has real limits. What was once "a love that knew no bounds" and apparently bottomless, is shown to be of finite dept - maybe even shallow. So the disappointment comes, not because the relationship is broken, but because it is shown to be breakable.


There is an additional aspect of this phenomenon that makes it all the more condemning. While each partner previously compared their other dating options to something of unknown and conceivably infinite strength (i.e. their existing relationship), a doubt-forming episode will mean that they now compare their options to something they know to be finite, and perhaps even weak. Both the man and woman will convince themselves far more easily that things could be perfect with someone else, because their optimism about dating, stripped of its previous object, needs a new outlet. So in addition to seeming weaker in-and-of itself, the existing relationship will now be compared to inflated alternatives.


I have a very good guy friend who has been married for six years. His wife recently asked him for a divorce. He confided in me recently that this is actually the second time it's happened; two years into the marriage she did the same thing. At the time, he refused the divorce. He wanted to try to make it work, so they talked it through and she agreed. He essentially convinced her to "work on the relationship" and try to make the best of it.

Four years later, she's done the same thing, and this time, he isn't fighting it - because now he recognizes what I am saying here. Those four years, he admitted to me recently, were always spent in doubt of her feelings and fidelity, caused by the simple fact that she voiced her discontent. The relationship was ostensibly maintained, but the reality was that it had already been undermined by her attempt to end it; and my friend proceeded to waste four years trying to salvage what he essentially knew was dead after two.

Granted, there are some instances in which a break-up or fight doesn't reveal a relationship's depth, just as there are situations in which you might be willing to live with the limitations that such an episode often does reveal. The point here isn't to imply that all break-ups or fights are premonitions of ultimate failure, but to point out that if you find yourself disappointed in spite of having "saved" your relationship from a bad episode, it is almost certainly because that episode showed you that your relationship is more fragile than you'd hoped. So before you spend all kinds of emotional energy trying to get your boyfriend back or resisting a break-up, ask yourself whether just having him (or just having him back) is actually enough to satisfy you.


Related Posts
1. Why Do You Want Him Back?
2. Why Rejection Is a Good Thing
3. Get Used to Rejection
4. What Your Boyfriend Notices About Your Mother

58 comments:

  1. As soon as someone breaks it, it's broken. I think this has more to do with inner trust and commitment than anything else. When you know someone will walk, (and that's what they are saying when they say it's not working) it's done....the dumpee just doesn't want to admit it and is holding on to something that doesn't really exist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's hard to fully trust again once the trust has been broken, whatever causes that break. Breaking up may or may not break the trust (though it very well could and often will).

      Delete


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      Delete
  2. It's true that some instances in which a break-up or fight doesn't reveal anything. We just are unhappy some days.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's not what he's saying. To get to the break up point is significant and a strong indicator that the relationship is over.

      IF just being "unhappy some days" results in breaking up, that's an indicator of other issues either with you or some other major problem with the relationship.

      Delete
  3. Meh, I don't agree with all of this because sometimes people do need to say it's not working because... and deal with what ever the because is. A lot of times the relationship moves on smoothly.

    People can fight pretty hard and say mean things and still be together 10 years later.

    For most that I know of it is when one of the two spend the night or a few days apart to think things out, that is when the break has been made, not the uttering of words.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Can you give us a hint as to your career? These graphs reek of management consulting background...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whatever he does he (a) has a lot of free time (b) is a great writer (c) is still trying to find the right woman and (d) probably doesn't practice what he preaches or is wrong about his advice.

      Delete
  5. I agree w this post. Once broken, let it break for good. It's not worth any time or energy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How can you tell if something is really broken ? You may go through a rough patch with a long term partner and feel dissatisfied for a while but it does not mean that you want to end things or things have to end.

      For things to really really be at the end, trust is broken (for men) and respect is lost (for women). Like I've said before, men can't love if they can't trust while women can't love if they can't respect.

      Delete
    2. Every relationship goes through rough patches, but it is the willingness to overcome those moments that matter. When you are the girl he wants to be with, he'll overcome anything he needs to.

      If he isn't willing to resolve issues as a couple or work on whatever he needs to work on, then you know you are not the one for him.

      Just my two cents.

      Delete
    3. Yes Starlight, you say the truth. The thing is, some things are un-negotiable and while a man (or woman) may be willing to work hard with their partner or do whatever it takes to overcome whatever it is that's causing the problem, sometimes that problem just cannot be overcome.

      But yes, the willingness of one to work hard with their partner to solve their problems is a good indicator of how one values their partner.

      Delete
    4. eh...it's not that complicated. if there are qualities in a person that you don't like that have taken you to the point ot wanting to break up and you don't have the balls to break up with them, then that's called settling.

      even in marriage, i used to believe that people should never get divorced, but the more i've gotten older i believe in divorce and i think it's a good thing because people make bad choices and sometimes it takes time to realize what a bad idea marrying person x is.

      i have the highest respect for people who are capable of getting out of bad relationships. i have zero respect for people who choose to stay in miserable and failing relationships.

      Delete
  6. If there's doubt..it's a don't....my motto.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When you know someone wants to walk away that's when it's over but we all end up experiencing doubts, and often more than once, over something we've willingly committed to for the long term but being willing to persevere is the big difference.

      Delete
  7. insightful post.

    the only thing i'd mention in favor of "getting him (or her) back" is that it allows you to know that you did everything you could to fight for your love. if your spouse says they want to break up and you simply say "ok" when in your heart you don't want to end it, then you will forever wonder if the relationship could have been saved. trying to save the relationship may prove fruitless in the short and medium term, but in the long run, knowing you tried everything you could is very freeing and will allow you to move forward into a new relationship carrying less baggage.

    so in the end, it's a matter of walking the line between trying your best and just torturing yourself. when to throw in the towel is just a judgement call.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. well said, james!!

      My aunt and uncle broke up for three years and they got back together and it's an amazing relationship. this is bull. shat

      Delete
  8. I think Andrew is right on this one. There is a difference between saying "I'm unhappy about x, what can we do to make it better?" and saying, "I think it's time to end things because I can't handle the way you x." The former is acknowledging the issues that any relationship will face AND a willingness to work through those issues. Once the person says, as in the latter case, that they see this issue as a reason to end things forever RIGHT NOW, the weakness in the relationship is exposed, and so is that person's willingness to throw in the towel. I think Andrew is right.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right on the money for me here.
      A relationship is (or should be, in my idealistic way of seeing the world) about two people. So what affects one, for good or bad, affects the other.
      Too many times the tendency to hedge our bets is strong, even at the first small sign of misunderstanding - grass always greener elsewhere, or the effort to cling on, attempting to fix and find a compromise...but it only works if it's the two. Sounds redundant doesn't it?
      Also I'm inclined to think we more and more, are lacking tolerance in general... Don't know whether it is because of the onset of online dating or whatever, but sometimes we come with incredibly unrealistic expectations, holding a candle to perfection, when we know full well that is NOT how human beings are.
      In the future we'll all be robots if the current trend continues.
      I'm not suggesting putting up with any crap by the way, just practising acceptance and being more understanding.

      Delete
  9. Andrew-agree with one exception.

    With looking at other potential partners, it is ideal that one learns from the experiences of the relationship that doesn't work and therefore there is expected certainty that those who are considered potential partners are certain to have qualities you'd like to explore. Breakups are sometimes shitty learning lessons, but it helps a person and makes them better for the next relationship. So rather than question marks, I think the strength in other relationship is unquestionably greater because the person makes better choices. Making one or two or three bad choices in relationships is okay, but learning from them is KEY. Shit will happen, but as Kenny Rogers says, you have to know when to walk away...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Andrew, you are spot on with this post. Of course everyone is going to have ups and downs in their relationships, but as Elizabeth stated above, a conversation (or many) is needed to correct any difficulties, followed up by effort on both people's part. Once someone says they want to end things and break up, trust them and accept it. You will most likely know that the relationship has been stressed for some time at that point. It will be painful no doubt, but fighting it just delays the inevitable, all the while trying to make an unhappy SO happy, which is virtually impossible. Also, taking back an ex who swears up and down that they'll change and do whatever you need to stay...that never works. A leopard cannot change his/her spots. I made this mistake once and will never do it again.

    I think this is the major reason why I am so on the fence about getting married. I want to be able to exit a relationship if my partner or if I'm not happy; I don't want to go through a divorce or suffer unnecessarily in a shitty marriage. Yes, all relationships take work, but once the ship has sailed, it's time to stop standing at the dock.

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  11. Andrew this is a solid post. When a man breaks up with you, believe him.

    Nice graphics too.

    E.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Agree about breakups, if one thinks that it is over, it probably is. Not all fights, though, reach that level. This is one reason NOT to try making your partner jealous,; it is so easy to overshoot and make them feel they are a second fiddle. (As in every woman who tried it on me; at least six)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe those women were trying to push the boundaries with you - you know like some children do. It is my observation that women speak loudly but carry a small stick - they give ultimatums which they have no intention of following through - getting all dramatic and threatening this and that when they are not in a position to do so. So when a woman says it's over, you can't really be sure if she has said this a lot in the past. Then again, with women like these, maybe you should just take them at their word and spare both of you any further grief.

      Delete
  13. I very much agree, if it's broken, it is BROKEN!In my last relationship I wanted to end things (a couple of times) and every time he would beg me to take him back and that we should try again and that he would try harder. Fool that I was, I did take him back, only to be hurt by him SO much more in the end. I will not make that mistake again. If one hears ice cracking, get OFF the damn ice.

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  14. Totally agree! And RUN fast!!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hi all,

    First time here and I have to say this is a great blog.
    I have recently broken up with my ex after 6+ years (I'm 29, he is 31). He left me and I don't even know the real reason (I don't think he does either). We had a big fight (bigger than any we ever had) and I realised that something was off in the relationship, deeper that the fight, and that we needed to work it out. I said to him that I was willing to work hard to improve things but he had to do his part as well. The problem was that he wasn't sure he wanted that. So after 3 days (I thought he needed some space to clear up his head), he left me. No real reason why, a lot of excuses and he seemed very confused.
    The irony of it is that by doing that I realised that he wasn't worth it and I felt some sort of liberation. I needed to respect his decision but I was also deeply disappointed of the fact that he quit on us and that he was ready to throw down the toilet our 6 years together. He may have left me, but now I don't want him back (now, at this time and place, but you can never say never.). His decision made me quit on something I really cared about and now there is no going back. This pain, this disappointment is worst than the fight or the breaking up. This is probably what your friend felt when his wife asked for a divorce the 2nd time. It's painful as hell, but you can't fight on your own this things, it takes two. And if the other person doesn't want you, you need to seriously consider your options and move on.
    It's horrible, specially if you thought he/she was "the one". :(

    MM.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete


    2. !!! I Sarah Post This Testimony Coz My Husband Is Back Thanks To Dr.Ukaka

      I have never seen myself shed tears for anything before, but this very day that my lover left the house with annoyances after we had some fight about him always coming home late i cried the whole day, But after so many days of loneliness i decided to look for solution to my relationship and answer came to me when i saw Dr.Ukaka details on the internet and i read a lot of reviews about him and i decided to give him a call and through the help of Dr.Ukaka my lover came back to me within 48 hours and since then he has never come home late, So you can see how powerful and useful Dr.Ukaka is to the whole world that is why i am going to be putting Dr.Ukaka contact details right now for the sake of those people that will need his help contact Dr.Ukaka via mobile +2348133873774 or you write him via email at freedomlovespell@hotmail.com also contact him for help.website address: freedomlovespelltemple.yolasite.com


      Delete
  16. So what's the next step? All relationships will get to the point that "one is no longer flawless in the other partner's eyes". Unless really cannot make it continue, I am assuming the other way would be to save it.. I only sense "apart" would be the solution, if I am not wrong, from the article.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the point is that when things are broken, they are broken. it's not about having to be flawless. if a relationship gets to the point of breaking up, even once or twice iit's time to hit the road. run and don't look back.

      Delete
    2. relationships are essentially broken ALWAYS because of our inherent imperfections as humans - relationships are things we put together everyday. people are highly unrealistic and unreasonable in romantic matters

      Delete
  17. Alternatives seem better because they ARE.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The grass is not always greener and what you see is not always what you get. So no, alternatives are not always better even though they may seem so.

      Delete
    2. Agreed. The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence, its just different grass... My motto: No matter how beautiful/handsome they may be, somebody somehere is sick of their shit.

      Delete
  18. Why would an ex boyfriend contact you a year after you broke up (due to distance for school)? This was via text message saying: Hey, how are you? How is school going?

    ReplyDelete
  19. It's like, if a man dumped me because I wasn't attractive enough, then I may be able to change myself thoroughly by working on my feminine beauty and make myself attractive almost to any man.

    But after that, I should resist the thought of getting back to the man who once dumped me even if after this I am attractive to him again.

    I am worthy of way way more than that.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I don't know. Perhaps this is true in some cases. But I have many friends that gave each other a second chance and are happily married because they grew past that naive phase of their life when one person/both didn't handle things correctly or value the right stuff. They laugh about how stupid they/that person once were and how they almost blew it but are sooo glad that they ended up back together. Just let the relationship flow naturally.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Question -

    My boyfriend of 3 months (we were friends first and we were pretty serious - we spent pretty much all of our time together - but he initiated all of that) broke up with me a few weeks before the end of the school year (I am a grad student). After the break up I didn't contact him at all, but a few days later he started coming to study with me and he would text me to hang out, told me how pretty I was, how nice I looked, once told me how much he still liked me, etc. I told him he needed to stop saying stuff like that because he ended it and he can't go back and forth like that. However, I let him study with me (he sat at my study table and I didn't make him leave). We are apart for the summer and he has tried to talk to me a few times online and via text message. I have responded politely but usually I wait awhile and keep it brief and then leave and now its been almost a month since we've talked.
    Did I ruin my chances of him changing his mind by how I acted?

    Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  22. We all have different stories and experiences that influence our thoughts. In this case, on this topic, mine makes me disagree with you Andrew, even though I fully understand and appreciate yours and everyone else that agrees with your point of view. It does make sense. But there's always exceptions and everyone needs to determine for themselves what they can and cannot accept, what they can and cannot live without and what they want to invite back in to their lives.
    My influence comes from marrying my first love at the age of 23 and being widowed at the age of 32. Life itself is vulnerable. It is so easy to forget that and get carried away in day to day life. Its easy to take things and people for granted. Sometimes we need that kick in the ass to make us realize that even a phenomenal relationship takes work. Effort can never cease.
    It took a long time to get back out there and it was extremely difficult. But, I did meet a man who completely took me by surprise and made it easy by being absolutely amazing. We were in the very beginning of the relationship when life happened. His father became very ill and a somewhat traumatic event occurred with his unstable ex girlfriend. He started to pull away. I gave him space. But when I started to feel like I was there more as a convenience, I had to leave.
    He handled things with me terribly. He could have very well just not been into me. I could have been a rebound. I don't really know. What I do know is that he's an idiot. One of the last things he said to me was that he enjoyed his time with me, he was attracted to me, and I always made him feel amazing. I also know that if that's true and I believe it to be, then one day when the time is right he might wake up and realize what he doesn't have. And if he chose to seek me out and I was available (I am not waiting by any means for this to happen!) I would want to try it again. This is where my disagreement fits in... I would be happy that he would know that our relationship is vulnerable and it always will be. But with constant effort... (a renewed) trust, respect, and communication... and what you get back in return, it won't feel like effort. I learned this the hard way and its one of those tough life lessons I refuse to forget. I also learned that it is very difficult to meet those people that you feel that connection with. Those that for some reason, just get to you like no one else. What you have to do is do your own soul searching first and be true to yourself... are they really that person? And if they are, then its worth the fight and the forgiveness (as long as what you are getting in return is that amazing we all deserve).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for these inspiring words, I really needed them. I'm in a complicated situation with my first love who broke my heart an my family hates, but now he's back. We have been taking for the past month an a half an I have been very skeptical, but I truly believe he wants this to work. So much so that he had told me he would gladly spend the rest of his life with me and face whatever trials and tribulations with me and my family. I'm just really scared. I don't want to get hurt again, but like you said it's hard to find someone who you have a connection with. When I'm with him I'm able to be 100% myself, I'm comfortable and confident with him. I guess I'm mostly worried about my family getting along with him again. My family is most important to me and they have viable reasons for why they don't like him, such as him not being there for me when all 3 of my grandmother's pasted in a 3 month period. That's what hurts the most. How do I know he won't pull a stunt like that again? I mean I would like to believe he won't but he's kinda the reason I'm skeptical about any relationship anymore..

      Delete
  23. I have a question- From reading this and other blogs, it seems that getting back together with an ex or previous dating partner never happens and is a waste of time for us women who may be hoping for this scenario. Well, the last four men that I've dated have either cheated on me or gotten back together with their last ex, leaving me to feel like some weird rebound girl. It's also starting to make me overly paranoid of every ex girlfriend, and that is awful. I'm an attractive, smart, happy-go-lucky, fun girl, and I get approached by men just about every time I go out, but I'm picky with who I give my number to and even pickier with who I date. If this never happens, why does it keep happening to me!? Is there any way to know up front (verbal or body language, telltale signs, etc) if a guy is still hung up on his ex, or at least still dipping into that pot?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. People who get divorced and then get married back to each other are about 17% of divorces. Let that be your guide. About 1 in 6.

      If the men you date consistently cheat on you, your marriage market value is not high enough to secure long-term commitment from such men. Your sexual market value probably is high enough to secure several months of dating.

      Work on improving your attractiveness and your marriage market value. (I.e. read this blog a lot more.)

      Delete
  24. @sharron jenna: and at that exact moment: behold, the unmistakable stench of bullshit filled the air :D

    ReplyDelete
  25. After being in relationship with emma for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by reffering him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: drinegbedionspellhome@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS:drinegbedionspellhome@gmail.com CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEM




    ReplyDelete
  26. Sometimes in life giving up is not the option, some of us couldn't even take NO for an answer, I am one of such, I have visited so many forums and some of the people I met on such sites told me to forget about my lover or maybe I should just let go , I always believe in following my dreams and I believe that I can get whatever I want or be who I wanna be at any point in my life. Why am I saying this? Roland left me not long ago for a younger lady, he told me it was over but like I said I can always get whatever I want in life which was what I did, i ensure that I got him back home with me with the help of a man known as Dr. Grea of the Re_unifyexlove@outlook.com, he cast a reunion spell for me, now Roland is back home with me and we are having a good life together again. Contact him at Re_unifyexlove@outlook.com and also visit his website to know more about hi via: http://reunifyexlove.webs.com. Get the best result you ever dreamed of with his spells.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Sometimes in life giving up is not the option, some of us couldn't even take NO for an answer, I am one of such, I have visited so many forums and some of the people I met on such sites told me to forget about my lover or maybe I should just let go , I always believe in following my dreams and I believe that I can get whatever I want or be who I wanna be at any point in my life. Why am I saying this? Roland left me not long ago for a younger lady, he told me it was over but like I said I can always get whatever I want in life which was what I did, i ensure that I got him back home with me with the help of a man known as Dr. Grea of the Re_unifyexlove@outlook.com, he cast a reunion spell for me, now Roland is back home with me and we are having a good life together again. Contact him at Re_unifyexlove@outlook.com and also visit his website to know more about hi via: http://reunifyexlove.webs.com. Get the best result you ever dreamed of with his spells.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I am giving this testimony because l am happy.

    I AM MORGAN BY NAME, THIS IS MY LIFE EXPERIENCE IN THE PASS, I WAS JUST BORN AND BORN ALONE I LOST MY PARENT IN A PLAIN CRASH WHEN I WAS 20 YEAR I HAVE BE LEAVING WITH OUT A FAMILY UNTIL I GOT MARRIED. (BAD NEW) 10 YEAR IN MARRIAGE NO ISSUE UNTIL ONE DAY MY WIFE TOLD ME THAT SHE HAS IS NOT WELL THAT SHE NEED TO GO FOR A CHECK UP WHEN SHE RETURN, SHE TOLD ME THAT, THE DOCTOR CONFIRM SHE IS PREGNANT WE WERE VERY HAPPY AFTER SOME MONTHS THE BABY GO BY MISS CARRIAGE WE FILL BAD, A FRIEND CAME I AM STARTING ENCOURAGING US THAT, THE MOTHER OF A DEATH CHILD IS THE MOTHER OF A LEAVING CHILD WE BELIEVE. ONE YEAR THERE IS STILL NO ISSUE, TWO, THREE NO ISSUE I AM ALWAYS FILL BAD AND I ALWAYS THINK ABOUT MY LIFE BORN AS ONE WITH OUT NO ENSUE IS VERY BAD UNTIL ONE DAY MY COOL WORKER NOTICE AND ASK ME WHAT IS EATING ME UP, I TELL HIM ALL THE STORY OF MY LIFE HE FEEL BAD AND HE TOLD ME THAT, AFTER WORK I SHOULD SEE HIM, THEM AFTER WORK I WAIT TO SEE HIM AND HE TOLD THAT, HE WILL RECOMMEND ME TO ONE DOCTOR IN AFRICA NAME DOCTOR OKORO THAT HE SAVE HIS FRIEND FAMILY THAT WAS HAVING THE SAME PROBLEM WITH ME, I AGREED TO BEEN RECOMMENDED TO THE DOCTOR OKORO BUT I WAS STILL DARTING BECAUSE I NEVER BELIEVE IF THERE WAS SOLUTION HE CALL HIS FRIEND AND ASK HIM TO SEND DOCTOR OKORO EMAIL ADDRESS:(okorospelltemple12@gmail.com) AND WE EMAIL HIM AT ONCE AND A REPLY CAME AND ASK ME TO SEND ALL THE PROBLEM I HAVE AND MY NAME AND MY WIFE NAME, I DID I HE SAID, AFTER TWO DAYS HE CALLED THAT EVERY THING IS FINE THAT I AND MY WIFE WILL BE HAPPY. I NEVER BELIEVE IT WAS REAL UNTIL 30 DAYS COME TO PASS MY WIFE COMPLAIN OF NOT FILLING WELL SHE WENT TO MEDICAL CHECK UP AND DOCTOR CONFIRM SHE IS PREGNANT WE WERE HAPPY BUT NOT HAS MUCH BECAUSE OF THE PAST. ONE MONTH, TWO, TILL NINE MOTHS MY WIFE GIVE BIRTH AND WE REJOICE I INFORM DOCTOR OKORO BUT I SAID LET WAIT TILL A YEAR BEFORE I SAY MY TESTIMONY TO THE WORLD….. AS I AM WRITING THIS TESTIMONY MY SON IS A YEAR AND SIX MONTHS OLD I AM A HAPPY FAMILY MAN NOW. IF YOU ARE IN A PROBLEM, LIKE YOU NEED YOUR WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND BACK OR YOU HUSBAND OR BOYFRIEND OR YOU NEED A JOB OR LOST YOUR JOB OR ANY SICKNESS AT ALL HE CAN DO IT FOR YOU TOO. AND YOU CAN ALSO CONTACT HIM ON WEBSITE: http://ultelpowerfultemplepriest.webs.com

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  29. Anyone who has been in an off and on relationship can tell how frustrating it is. Most especially when you love them so much like they know you so well to know that no matter the circumstance in which the break up is based on, you are always gonna make up and start from a fresh page with them. Almost like you can not do without them and your life revolves round them which is literally speaking true. My relationship with my boyfriend was one such off and on thing only that he was the one who constantly kept breaking my heart and each time i kept crawling back to him like i had no life aside from that i shared with him. He knew he could break up with me to date other guys he feels like and at the end of the day come back asking for a second chance and believe me it was always a second chance to me. It was either he wants to date another guys or he's telling me that he is not sure he can be in a relationship with apparently cos he needed to find out what he wants in life and discover who he is. Most people asked why didn't i just move on and find someone who was more worthy of my love. Yes i should have done just that but i can give a thousand reason why i always go back to him at the end of this entire text it will fall back to this that "I LOVE HIM WITH MY LIFE". I could not see my whole life without him in it so basically i was a fool in love. It was like he had something over him that always drew me back to him no matter what the condition might be. I was in pain. I really didn't know if he did all he did on purpose or f it was as a result of his indecisive nature. What ever it was i didn't like cos all i wanted was to spend the rest of my life with him. Blame me or don't on the basis of stupidity what's done is done i contacted a spell caster to help get him in the path i wanted for us. I did this early this year. I was not going to say anything until i was sure that what Metodo Acamu did was for real. I was not going to start misleading people to do what does not exist. I can tell you without now doubt that the spell worked for me and also i have seen a couple of comment Online about Metodo Acamu it is obvious that all he does is make people lives better in every way and bring people out from what ever hellhole they where in. I should tell you that he is one of the only few if not the only one true spell caster that can help you out in any condition. Not cos i saw a couple of comments Online like that of Nicholas Zachary but because all these comments were written by real life people who have gone and seen the authenticity of Metodo Acamu. I asked Metodo Acamu to put my boyfriend in the right path i wanted for the two of us, to help kill that indecisive nature he had in him to make him mine and mine only forever. You should all know he did just that for me and the spell he cast changed our lives in ways you can't imagine and the best part is that he didn't take i single pound from me. I only gave him something out of my discretion as a sign of gratefulness for what he did for me. However Metodo Acamu asked me to get some materials which we used for the spell casting process. I will be opened with you all at first, i thought he wanted to use the required materials as a medium to get money form me but it turned out that he made it clear to me that without those materials it will me impose to do any spell just like cooking without food stuff. Even then he told me to either get the materials to temple by myself or parcel it over to him or to send him the money to get the materials for me if i can't find them. I had to send the money to him cos it was even more less expensive that way. You should also know he is trust worthy you can trust him with anything. Here is his personal contact got it Online when i contacted him thought i should also leave it here maybe for those who need to contact Metodo Acam metodoacamufortressx@yahoo.com

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  30. i dated a boy for about four and a half year my name is nat i live from paris just last year we had an aguement and because of that he stopped calling me or even to respond to my call he will not i don't really know what to do because it hurts me living alone without him i was just crying all day i got no help i can call i have been living like that si nce the past many months how i got to jai mata durga i went to my company there where no much stock and i was shut of cash at that moment i so wanted to apply to online loan because i have been doing it for years so there was a particular page i opened i saw people comment about the good work sunlight did for the how she brought their ex back and some people also share how she made them rich from grass to grace when they gat nothing before
    but right they are rich they where discussing about her goodness to the work from there i got interest to also contact her i saw her mail then i contacted with my problems to her and she told me done and that everything will be done i should no fear just then she provided everything that she needed for the spell 2 hours later or maybe 3 her mailed me that she is gone that he will come back in less than two hrs i thought it was a joke about 1hour 30 mins later my phone it was him i can't believe when i picked he just called me honey ever since we met he has never called me honey but he did after some time he came to my house and started begging i have to forgive he was desperated just as goddess sunlight has said when i told him my problems he gave me the money i was shocked then i realise
    how great goddess sunlight is the daughter of jai mata durga so i want to use this opportunity to tell you that if you need anything your wife,husband,boyfriend,girl, back money riches job pregnancy children anything at all sunlight will give it to you in just in a seconds is mighty a nd powerful queen mother sunlight i love you always i will also join those people on blog even thank them for helping me find someone more like a mother to me so if you need her help pls contact sunlightspell@gmail.com or call her +2347056105308 she is the greatest.

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  31. My Name is Veronica, From United State . I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr Olakadu has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell, I was married to this man called Steven we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email(dr.olakaduspelltemple@gmail.com) then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast and bring my lost husband back, and after a month I miss my month and go for a test and the result stated am pregnant am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr olakadu for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below:

    1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3) You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4) You want women/men to run after you.
    (5) If you want a child.
    (6) You want to be rich.
    (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be
    yours forever.
    (8) If you need financial assistance.
    (9) How you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money
    (10) hiv Aids
    (11) Cancer
    (12) Loss Weight
    (13) Mental disable,ETC

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  32. !!! I Sarah Post This Testimony Coz My Husband Is Back Thanks To Dr.Ukaka

    I have never seen myself shed tears for anything before, but this very day that my lover left the house with annoyances after we had some fight about him always coming home late i cried the whole day, But after so many days of loneliness i decided to look for solution to my relationship and answer came to me when i saw Dr.Ukaka details on the internet and i read a lot of reviews about him and i decided to give him a call and through the help of Dr.Ukaka my lover came back to me within 48 hours and since then he has never come home late, So you can see how powerful and useful Dr.Ukaka is to the whole world that is why i am going to be putting Dr.Ukaka contact details right now for the sake of those people that will need his help contact Dr.Ukaka via mobile +2348133873774 or you write him via email at freedomlovespell@hotmail.com also contact him for help.website address: freedomlovespelltemple.yolasite.com


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  33. i just want to thank chief Dr.ikoko for his wonderful and miraculous performers in my life for the past 7yrs i have be barren but his work make me became pregnant now am with two baby’s, more to chief DR.ikoko. you can reach him via email: ikokotemple@gmail.com

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  34. I want to use this medium to tell the world about Dr Marvel who helped me in getting my lover back with his powerful spell, my ex and i where having misunderstanding which led to our breakup though i went to beg him several times to please forgive and accept me back because i knew i offend him but each time i went i always feel more deeply in pain and agony because he always walk out on me and would not want to listen to what i have to tell him but on one faithful day as i was browsing i came across a testimony of a woman whose problem was worse than mine and yet Dr Marvel helped her with his spell. So i was happy and also contacted Dr Marvel for help via email (extremespellhome@hotmail.com) and then told him my story but the only thing he said was that i will wipe your tears out with my spell so luckily for me everything want well just as he promised and right now i have got my lover back and we are both living happily. there is nothing Dr Marvel can not do with his spell and just as promise myself i will keep testifying on the internet of how Dr Marvel helped me. Are your problem greater that mine or less i give you 100% guarantee that Dr Marvel will put an end to it with his powerful spell, contact Dr Marvel today to help you email: extremespellhome@hotmail.com or extremespellhome@gmail.com. Or call him through his mobile number +2348106985072. His web site on http://extremespellhome.webs.com

    ReplyDelete
  35. I want to use this medium to tell the world about Dr Marvel who helped me in getting my lover back with his powerful spell, my ex and i where having misunderstanding which led to our breakup though i went to beg him several times to please forgive and accept me back because i knew i offend him but each time i went i always feel more deeply in pain and agony because he always walk out on me and would not want to listen to what i have to tell him but on one faithful day as i was browsing i came across a testimony of a woman whose problem was worse than mine and yet Dr Marvel helped her with his spell. So i was happy and also contacted Dr Marvel for help via email (extremespellhome@hotmail.com) and then told him my story but the only thing he said was that i will wipe your tears out with my spell so luckily for me everything want well just as he promised and right now i have got my lover back and we are both living happily. there is nothing Dr Marvel can not do with his spell and just as promise myself i will keep testifying on the internet of how Dr Marvel helped me. Are your problem greater that mine or less i give you 100% guarantee that Dr Marvel will put an end to it with his powerful spell, contact Dr Marvel today to help you email: extremespellhome@hotmail.com or extremespellhome@gmail.com. Or call him through his mobile number +2348106985072. His web site on http://extremespellhome.webs.com

    ReplyDelete


  36. THE GREAT Dr.NICE OKSE WHO BROUGHT MY HUSBAND BACK TO ME . My name is Ananbel Samson I live in USA, . My husband and I have been living a very happy and lovely life. So as time went on, I began to notice this strange attitude that he was possessing. He was now having another girl friend called Jane, to the extent that he was no longer picking up my calls, and he was not even sleeping in my house anymore because of this new girl friend. I became confused and didn't know what to do . So i became worried and stranded, , because I have never experienced a thing like this before in my life. So I decided to visit a spell caster online, to see if he can help me out. So immediately I went to the internet, where I saw an amazing testimony of a spell caster who brought someone's ex lover back Dr. NICE OKSE so I email him with his email professionallovespell@hotmail.com immediately and I explained to him all my problems and immediately he reply to me that it will be very easy for him to solve, i have been helping people with situation like the one i have. And he also gave me some proof to be really sure of his work, and he assured me that my husband will come back to me immediately he is through with the spell casting. And also he told me to put all my trust in him, and I really believe him. So it was 9:00 am on the next morning, when I was about going to work, when i received my husband's call, and he told me that he was coming back home , and he apologized to me, and told me that he is very sorry for the pain that he has cost me. And after some minutes later, he really came back home, and that was how we continued our marriage with lots of love and happiness again, and our love was now stronger than how it were before. And he also told me that once my heart desire has been granted unto me that i should go and testify of his work right here on the internet. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth today as I am writing this testimony, and I want to really thank " Dr. NICE OKSE " for bringing back my husband, and for bringing joy and love to my life. My advice for you out there who your husband or your wife is acting strange or behaving the same way like this, or you have any problem with your relationship or anything related to do with spell casting, is for you to go and visit this VIA email: professionallovespell@hotmail.com, and i assure you that he will be of help to you, and I am 90% sure that he will solve it out. Thank Dr. NICE OKSE.

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  37. Hello
    I am Susan Vagas from From San Francisco, California, United States, I am 32 years old with two Kids. I want to use this opportunity to Thank and tell the world about DR OVIA a very powerful VOODOO spell caster who recently helped me to reunite my Marriage with my divorced husband who left me for another woman. Immediately i contacted DR OVIA, he performed a spell for me and told me to wait for just 12 hours that i will see the result, I waited as he had instructed , my Husband really called me and started apologizing and up till now, I and my family has been so happy. If you need help, i will drop his email so that you can contact him so that he can help you: Here is the email: droviasolutioncenter@gmail.com or droviasolutioncenter@yahoo.com You can also visit his website on droviasolutioncenter.webs.com or call him +2348054049995

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