Whatever the case, "just being friends" is simply not a viable way of relating to a man or woman you've been emotionally or sexually intimate with. The severed emotional ties between you will prevent you from relating to each other in platonic ways for a long time to come - perhaps forever. This is something that we all know instinctively, whether or not we admit it to ourselves in the face of a failed relationship. Trying to be "friends" is a recently-dumped female's way of saying "I am not ready to let go." However, in some occasions, the male ending the relationship will suggest it. If this happens to you, know that this is a male's way of saying one (or all) of a few different things:
- "I'm over the relationship but I like getting laid a lot, and it will be a lot of work to get that kind of steady pussy elsewhere. Let's keep having sex but without the commitment. We'll call it 'being friends.'"
- "I don't want to be in a relationship with you anymore. I don't expect that being 'just friends' will actually work, but I know this break up won't be easy for you, so I am suggesting being friends in an attempt to soften the blow."
- "I am on the fence about our relationship, but I am too much of a pussy to break up with you completely, even though I know nothing productive or emotionally healthy can come from staying in touch."
Let's have a completely platonic relationship in which we ignore the feelings we had for one another, and even the ones we still have. I'll talk casually to you about the girls I'm dating or sleeping with, because the fact that we are "just friends" means that it won't hurt you at all to hear how replaceable you are, and how much I've moved on in such a short time.
We won't need to worry about the temptation to have sex with each other, because once we become friends, any sexual attraction that existed will die instantly. Once we are "friends" we will immediately start seeing each other like ugly, wrinkled old men and women.
Oh, and also, most importantly: the "just friends" thing will be especially workable because my future girlfriend or wife will be overjoyed that I am still great friends with an ex. Women never get jealous of one another - you and she will probably be close friends someday.
If you liked this post, you'll definitely like my book, Beyond the Breakup, which explains everything you need to know about dealing with you ex: what he's thinking, what is motivating him to stay friends with you, how to maximize your chances of getting him back, and how to focus on your future if that doesn't happen.
1. When Your Ex Contacts You...
2. Men and "Friends with Benefits"
3. Why Do You Want Him Back?