What Men Think of You Without Makeup

There is no question that you look better with your hair and makeup done than you do without it. If your boyfriend tells you that you are hotter without it, because he prefers when you "look more natural," he is either lying or you aren't doing your makeup correctly. Makeup is designed to make you look better; saying that it doesn't is like saying that a fresh coat of paint on a house doesn't make the house look better: it is only true when someone screws up the paint job by using the wrong colors or applying the right ones incorrectly.

In any case, although cosmetics give you an undeniable advantage when it comes to controlling your appearance, they come with the burden of deciding when and where their use is appropriate. The following points explain what men think about seeing you done up or in your natural state, so that you can better choose between the two when that decision proves difficult.

1. He cares about first impressions. We all do. They matter. Initial experiences leave an impression on the mind much deeper than most of those that follow; this is simply the way the human brain works. So make sure you are looking great the first few times you meet him; he will remember it. (Note that I did not say that you should be looking "your best" the first few times you meet him. This is because it is always good to keep a little something in reserve. If your "great" isn't good enough for him, your "best" probably won't be either. And even if it were, you would have to be completely focused on your appearance in order to barely keep him interested, making your life a living hell.)

2. He is going to see you without makeup eventually, so don't make inordinate attempts to avoid being seen bare-faced after the first few dates. By inordinate I mean things like canceling a date because you won't have time to do your hair perfectly, or completely avoiding a hike with him because full makeup and hair would be inappropriate. I don't mean spending an hour getting ready for a date. Spending time to make yourself look your best is normal, not inordinate; so err on the side of doing this more frequently rather than less. Just beware that there is an upper limit to the benefit of added effort, since he will see you without makeup eventually.

3. He doesn't stop wanting to see you done up. There is a misconception among some women that as a relationship develops, a man becomes either (a) less turned on by seeing you done up, or (b) more turned on by seeing you in your natural state. Neither of these are true. In fact, if anything, the opposite is true in both instances, since, as a man grows accustomed to your look, his sex drive starts nagging at him, inclining him to desire other women (though in a good relationship, this is counteracted by emotional investment, time investment, love, etc.) In any case, he certainly doesn't stop wanting to see you look your best, or grow less disappointed when you reduce the effort you put into your appearance. There is no point at which you can "relax" without implications while you are both sexually active with each other. If this seems unfair, remember the analogy between confidence and beauty: you taking a break from being beautiful for him is like him taking a break from being strong and confident for you. While you could probably sympathize with your man's desire to relax in this regard, and might even be OK with him showing his weaknesses to you from time to time (see #7 below), you'd prefer to always have him being his strongest, and you wouldn't be any less turned off by his weakness just because time had elapsed in the relationship.

4. He hates a women whose life is dictated by her appearance. The negative effect of being unwilling to do activities that would require you to not wear makeup (camping, surfing, etc.) by far outweighs the advantage you gain by always being seen at your best - especially considering points #2 and #8.

5. He loves a woman who is confident in her own skin. Confidence is a character trait that both sexes find incredibly attractive in the other (even if women value it more than men) because confidence is rooted in a healthy self-perception and acknowledgement of one's own self-worth - which all diligent and contentious people have. The attractiveness of your confidence is much more important than whatever advantage you sacrifice by occasionally being seen without makeup.

6. He loves you looking your best during sex. Remember that men are primarily stimulated visually. While there is a certain attraction to being naked with a woman who bares her whole self to you, most of the time a man wants to be sleeping with the hottest woman he can. Again, remember the analogy between confidence and beauty, and consider how you'd feel if your normally confident man man turned into a weak pushover in the sack. I am not saying that you should never have sex without your hair and makeup done. There are some instances in which getting done up just for sex isn't appropriate, and he'd certainly rather have sex with the "au natural" you than not have sex at all. But when you have the option to get done up, and you find yourself tempted to think "oh, he doesn't really care" or "we love each other so much it doesn't matter," remember this point.

7. There is something intimate about seeing a girl without makeup. When I've seen my ex-girlfriends without their hair and makeup done, I've had two thoughts: (a) she is less attractive, but (b) it is nice that I get to see this side of her. It is an expression of intimacy - and her confidence - that she can be herself in my presence, and this is worth something. Don't use this as an excuse to ignore point #3, but allow it to help you if you struggle with point #5.

8. He isn't expecting you to be as hot without it as you are with it. Men understand that you aren't going to be as beautiful without your makeup on and hair done. This is expected, and it is factored in to their evaluation of your attractiveness. Yes, there are some women who get more benefit from makeup than others, and it is possible for a man to be surprised by how much less attractive a girl looks without it. You can avoid falling into this category by understanding your complexion and wearing makeup that is compatible with your natural look; but regardless, know that men definitely hold you to lower standards when you aren't made up.

A final point is worth noting: a genuinely feminine woman loves looking her best. She takes great pleasure in adorning herself and amplifying her internal beauty via her external beauty. You don't need to be a supermodel to enjoy this; you simply need to know that you are looking your current best. The more you allow yourself to enjoy looking beautiful, the less you will resent the "need" to do so, and the more comfortable you will feel when you don't.

Related Posts

1. The Importance of Hair

2. How to Look Good During Sex

3. Hair and Makeup Variety

4. A Tool for Learning Makeup

A Tool for Learning Makeup

In the post I made called How to Avoid Looking Fake, I pointed out that a girl needs to understand what kinds and tones of makeup work with her face and complexion in order to avoid the "caked on" makeup look, which men find unattractive. A reader recently recommended a website called TAAZ.com that actually allows users to apply virtual makeup to a photo of themselves in order to get an idea of what will look good. You can also try different hairstyles. In fact, the website is very similar to the one I recommended in the post How to Improve Your Hair (www.thehairstyler.com), but with a focus on makeup rather than hair - and the added benefit of being able to do both.

Here is the link to the website: www.taaz.com

As with www.thehairstyler.com, the visualization tools aren't perfect, but as you can see in the examples below, you can definitely get general ideas about how various colors work (or don't work) with your personal look. Whether you are just learning how to optimize your look, or want to revisit it, this website can be an invaluable tool. (And don't be so sure that you already know everything about your own makeup - self-perception is remarkably inaccurate at times.)

Related Posts
1. How to Avoid Looking "Fake"
2. How to Improve Your Hair
3. Your Skin Color Matters
4. Hair and Makeup Variety

How To Avoid Looking "Fake"

In the post You Can Control How Attractive You Are, I reiterated the point that most unattractive women aren’t genetically unlucky, they just aren’t trying hard enough. Recently, a reader brought up a good question in the comments section of that post: how far can a girl go to fix up herself before she is considered "fake"?

The question is a good one because at first glance, looking fake seems to be what happens when a girl tries too hard. We’ve all seen girls with caked-on makeup, boob jobs, spray tans and shitty hair extensions; and we’re all familiar with the male consensus about them – they look terrible. In fact, you probably don’t even need men to tell you this. So how do you avoid it? How do you strike a balance between “not enough” and the “fake” extreme?

The problem with this question is that it is based on a misunderstanding. It wrongly puts “ugly” on both ends of the effort scale, because it presumes that the girls with boob jobs, thick make-up and cheap hair extensions are putting in a lot of effort. This is decidedly not the case. These girls haven’t put in more effort than the average girl. Layering on make-up, or sitting in a tanning booth longer than necessary – while it does take more time – is rooted more in confusion than concerted effort.

These women are like a chef who is obsessed with a single spice – salt, or garlic, or thyme, or whatever. True, these spices all have their proper place, and can make a meal outstanding when placed on the right dish in the appropriate quantity. But in excess they destroy all dishes. A woman who layers makeup is like a chef who dumps inordinate amounts of garlic in everything he cooks. Neither the make-up girl nor the garlic-chef understands the concept of moderation or balance. The girl ends up looking “fake” and the chef has every other plate returned by unsatisfied customers. Although there is a certain amount of added effort involved in the additional mirror-time, or the extra crushing and dicing of garlic cloves, you don’t need me to tell you that both the make-up-obsessed girl and the garlic-obsessed chef are poor role models.

Sarah Harding

The mistake is a preference for quantity rather than quality. Too much effort does not result in a “fake” appearance, uneducated effort does. The chef who understands balance and complimentary tastes has invested orders of magnitude more effort and time in reaching that expertise than the one who simply saturates everything with salt. And the girl who realizes that her natural complexion only works with certain make-up tones, or knows how to suit her hairstyle and cut of clothes to her face and body shape has likewise invested miles more time and energy in her look than the girl who just cakes on extra make-up, or resorts to a boob job to enhance her chest. If you think that “more effort” means “more make-up” or “more tan,” you are spending your smarts in the wrong place – or rather, you aren’t spending them at all.



Nicola Roberts

If you really want to improve your look, you need to become your own stylist. You need to learn how to make your hair shine, and how to add volume in the right places. You need to study your body shape and try different outfits until you know precisely what cut makes your features pop - or subdues them, if necessary. You need to read books on color, and try every shade until you know which ones are your best. You need to learn everything you can about fitness and dieting so that your time in the gym is efficient and your meals compliment your workouts. You need to push your comfort boundaries with different styles, perhaps looking awkward occasionally just to rule out the possibility that your aversion to a certain style is really based in its inappropriateness for you – and not some childhood prejudice. You need to fix your posture and get serious about sleeping right. You need to watch how much you drink and learn how to care for your skin.

I am not suggesting that every girl should obsess over her appearance, but you see what I mean. This is real effort – not the “extra garlic” approach, which results in the fake look we are all so familiar with. Be smart about your efforts and, generally speaking, the more effort you put in, the more you will improve your look, not compromise it.

How to Improve Your Hair

Kate Middleton

I am not an expert on women's fashion, let alone something so specific as hair. However, even the simplest observations about style can be difficult to make in the first person. I have the advantage of being in the third person, as well as being male and therefore having a good grasp of what is attractive to men. Here's what I have noticed about women's hair:

1. Time. This is the most common mistake women make when it comes to their hair. The women with bad hair are invariably those who are unwilling to put in the time it takes to make it look good. I use the term "mistake" loosely, because it is obviously a matter of personal preference. More often than not, "I don't have time" actually means "it isn't a priority." But priorities often change once the relative importance of the viable options is made clear. In this sense, a more important post than this one might be the one I wrote about the importance of hair. I am not interested in giving unsubstantiated moral imperatives, so I won't say that a woman should spend a given amount of time on her hair. However, I will say this: if you aren't spending at least 20 minutes a day on your hair, you aren't looking your best. Considering how important hair is to your overall appearance, and how easy it is to control, it makes sense to spend at least that much time on it - assuming you are interested in maximizing your chances with men.

Shakira

2.  Length. Long, full hair exudes vitality. It is beautiful, elegant,  vibrant, sexy. It is the most prominent and recognizable indicator of femininity, and it transfixes the attention of men. I've often wondered if the story of Samson was originally written about a woman, because a woman without her hair is like a woman robbed her of life-force. Yes, there are a few men out there that claim to like short hair. (I am actually skeptical that they are being honest with themselves. I wonder if they once had a crush on a girl that wore it short, and therefore think they like it on all women). But their number is so low that it is statistically negligible and warrants no attention. Keep the length between your shoulders and the middle of your back, and always err on the long side if you are unsure. Short hair on a woman is like a mustache on a man - while in very rare instances some people can look good in spite of it, they never look good because of it. Only use extensions if they blend so well that other girls have to look twice to realize you are wearing them. Otherwise it will just looks cheap and trashy. Grow it out instead.

3. Color. Just like your clothes, your hair color needs to work with your complexion. Your natural hair color is always safe, but not usually as fun as the alternatives - and certainly not as dynamic (see #6). You also have a fair amount of flexibility in this regard, because your hair is one of the features that defines your complexion. Most hair colors can be made to work, but you need to make sure that you change the color of your clothes accordingly, and stay within the limits prescribed by the other elements of your complexion. I've seen some women who clearly don't understand this concept, and the result is unnatural-looking and unattractive. For example, bleaching you hair does not mean that you also need to lighten your eyebrows, since this is liable to wash you out. Likewise, red hair is not likely to work if you have olive skin.

4. Texture & Style. Most women can successfully pull off a couple different hair textures and at least a few different styles. While both will be somewhat limited by your face shape (see #5), you will still have options within those limitations. Most men prefer women when they wear their hair down, but there are some cases when showing off your neck and shoulders (one of the most feminine parts of a woman's body) can outweigh the benefits of wearing your hair down. In any case, I've found that my guy friends all have different taste when it comes to texture and style. Some like frizzy hair, some like straight hair, some like wavy hair. There aren't many guidelines here, except those imposed by your face shape. For example, a hairstlye that flatters your jaw line might be impossible to pull off with straight hair. I will say that, in general, more volume is always a good thing. Full hair is healthy hair, especially if you can maintain the shine after adding volume through curling or some other means.

Minka Kelly

5. Shape. There are all kinds of internet resources for figuring out what hairstyle works best with your face shape and hairline. Use them, but remember the following when you do:

• While the various shapes are broken into categories, some women fall in between two of the categories (in the same way that your complexion might be halfway between a "clear winter" and a "clear autumn"). Realizing this might help you identify your own shape.
• Ignore anything that tells you that a short hairstyle suits you best (see #3). While it may be true that short hair compliments the shape of your face, a hairstyle's suitability to your face is far less important than looking feminine when it comes to attracting men.
• You should consider not only the shape of your face in portrait, but also in profile. Here is a blog post that describes this: http://www.southernbritt.com/facial-profiles-hairstyles/

There is an article here: http://www.thehairstyler.com/features/articles/hairstyles/the-right-hairstyle-for-your-face-shape that makes an effort to illustrate the rights and wrongs of choosing a hairstyle. The website in general is interesting: they are trying to create a program with which you can visualize how you will look with different hair styles. While I think they need a lot of improvement on the visualization tools, the website (and the article in particular) at least helps you understand the underlying concepts. You can figure the specific applications for yourself. The general idea is to use the shape of your hair to give the impression of an oval-shaped head. For example, a woman with a square-shaped head would use her hair to round out the "corners" of her face, while a woman with a triangular face should use her hair to give the impression of added width to the top of her head and de-emphasize the width at the bottom.

7. Cleanliness. Dreadlocks and dirty hair are repulsive. I can't count the number of times my friends and I have seen a girl with dreads and all agreed how much we hated the way it looked. While a negligibly small percentage of guys might mildly attracted to the "look" it creates (hipster, etc.), there is nothing attractive about the hair itself, and I can guarantee you those same guys won't hold it against you if you wash your hair regularly. Your hair is most attractive when it projects an image of health. It does this when it is shiny, and it is shiny when it is clean. Full and healthy hair is an indication that your body is being supplied with the resources it needs to produce such hair (protein, vitamins, etc.), and also that you care about yourself enough to take care of it. Unclean hair implies a poor diet, bad genes, or apathy - none of which is going to attract your future husband. (Note that this does not mean you should necessarily wash your hair every day. In fact, this might do more damage than good in some cases.)

6. Dynamics. One of my favorite things about women is their ability to change their look. By coloring your hair differently or changing its shape and texture, you have dramatic leverage over your appearance. Your boyfriend or husband might like a particular look the most, but seeing the same thing every day is not something that the male mind is programmed to appreciate. If you can figure out a few different ways of doing your hair that he likes, switching among them periodically can offer your man some of the variety that he has given up by being in a committed relationship with you. As with everything else in life, you really only know whether or not something works by trying it out. Without taking risks, you will not improve.


Related Posts
1. The Importance of Hair
2. Hair and Makeup Variety
3. How to Avoid Looking "Fake"

The Importance of Hair

Other than your physical fitness, your hair is the most important controllable aspect of your physical attractiveness. Most women know this. I am not a hair stylist, so others can give you much better advice than I about how to make your hair look its best.

However, it is worth underscoring just how critical good hair is to a woman's appearance. Rather than do this by compounding adjectives or superlatives, I want to recount the moment when I learned this for myself.

I had spent the night at my (now ex-) girlfriend's house and she was getting ready for work in the morning. She went into the bathroom to do whatever it is girls do to get ready. After a while, she came back into the room, looking gorgeous. I distinctly remember being turned on to the point that I  wanted to throw her back into bed. Actually, I maybe may well have; I don't remember now. But what I do remember was the epiphany that accompanied the following exchange:

"Did you do your make-up differently this morning?" I asked.

"My make-up?"

"Yeah, your make-up. It looks hot as shit, but something looks different for some reason. It's a more natural look or something. I really like it."

"I'm not wearing any make-up."

"Wait... what?" I asked, confused. "But you look...  wait, really? So what were you doing in the bathroom all this time?" I was scrutinizing her while saying all of this, and slowly became convinced that she really wasn't wearing any make-up.

"I was doing my hair." She answered. As soon as she said it I could see that it was her hair that was making her look so radiant. She'd washed it, straightened it, brushed it and pinned it half-up.

No one doubts how much makeup can improve your look. Hair matters more: don't underestimate the importance of grooming.


Related Posts
1. How to Improve Your Hair
2. Hair and Makeup Variety
3. How to Avoid Looking "Fake"
4. An Interesting Hair Experiment...

Sexy Versus Cute

Taylor Swift

Some girls have expressed their disappointment when I've told them that they look "cute" rather than "sexy" or "hot." I used to respond to their reaction by claiming that it was unwarranted. After all, cute is still attractive. But in the back of my mind I knew that my compliment was mildly backhanded, even though it was never my intention.

To one degree or another, all women want to turn heads and make men's jaws hit the floor; and they know that "cute" doesn't elicit this kind of reaction. But growing up, most girls are not given the freedom to dress or act in a provocative manner, so they don't get to "practice" looking sexy. This is compounded by the fact that most parents have somewhat outdated ideas of modesty, in the midst of a trend towards sexually explicit fashions. Because girls grow up dressing cute, they become comfortable in the types of clothes, hairstyles and makeup that create a cute look. Ultimately this means that your average girl is only just learning how to pull off "sexy" when her desire to do so is strongest (i.e. in her twenties). This lack of experience, coupled with her desire to look hot, can lead to a crippling unwillingness to take the risks that are so necessary to mastering sexiness (or any new look, for that matter).

However, both looks can be achieved by any woman. Just because you are short or have dimples does not mean you cannot be sexy, in the same way that height or sharply shaped eyebrows don't preclude the possibility of looking cute. The main difference is that it takes more risk, confidence and experience to pull off a sexy look. Risk is a matter of your own will, and confidence follows from risk - as does experience.

Let's consider the characteristics of both looks. I've made a list of associations that I have for the two styles:

Sexy:
Confident, serious, poised, seductive, postured, tight (clothes), mature, aloof, gorgeous, sexual, selective, sharp, directed, closed, pretentious, shrewd, desirous, hungry, dark, cat, fox

Cute:
Innocent, light-hearted, wide-eyed, adorable, affectionate, eager, naive, young, youthful, joyful, pretty, animated, open, trusting, candid, colorful, kitten

The "cute" associations are predictably child-like. The "sexy" associations are almost predatory, and certainly they point towards a very confident sexuality. Notice how in both pairs of pictures I've posted, the sexy woman's gaze is piercing - calm, confident and provocative. As I've said before, your style is projected much more by your personality and demeanor than by your clothes. You can probably imagine a sexy woman dressed in cute clothes, or vice-versa (imagine the cute Megan Fox on the right holding herself like and making the same expression as the sexy Megan Fox on the left - it would still be sexy, even without the tight dress and wild hair).  In order to achieve that look, you must adopt the associated personality characteristics. Once the mindset exists, the clothes follow naturally, or at least easily.

Megan Fox

As in most cases, feigning the mindset can help you to obtain it. You need to "fake it 'til you make it." By wearing sexy clothes even when you don't think you can pull them off (taking risks), you will realize that, actually, you can and do pull them off. This is because, in most instances, your insecurities about what you are incapable of wearing are unfounded. Once you try them and see that they work, your confidence will spike, and you can then repeat the process.

I routinely see very concrete things that sexy girls are doing or wearing, but cute girls are not. The cute girls are the same ones who want to look sexy but don't, the same ones that are dismayed by my "cute" compliments. There isn't some kind of natural inability holding them back; it is their state of mind, and then also (following from their mindset) their presentation:

• They aren't showing off their body by wearing tight clothes; they wear flowing clothes that mask their feminine form
• They aren't wearing fashionable clothes (though this isn't always what will make you look best, you also shouldn't usually be trying to emulate your mother's dress sense)
• They aren't wearing high heels regularly
• They aren't standing up straight
• They don't use makeup enough (of course there is such a thing as "too much," but there is also such a thing as "not enough")
• They don't wear matching underwear or lingerie
• etc.

Of course, you will only realize that you can pull off heels, or a tight dress, or a certain hairstyle if you do pull it off. So you need to put thought into what you are attempting. If you are overweight, a tiny cocktail dress probably isn't for you - though I'd actually be liberal about making this decision (tighter = hotter even for girls that are slightly overweight). So don't start buying hooker outfits arbitrarily, assuming that they will make you sexy; make sure it works with your natural look (notice I did not say personality).

If you are honest enough with yourself to admit that you aren't comfortable wearing heels or tight dresses, or certain types of makeup, then you are already ahead of the game (most girls simply make excuses about attracting the wrong kind of attention). You just need to take a step outside yourself for a moment, and acknowledge that there is no real impediment to you pulling off "sexy" any more than there is for the thousands of girls who regularly do so. While you might have a mental block against the idea of you being "sexy," I challenge you to list concrete things that make you different from the women that dress and act that way - and I am not only talking about celebrities like Megan Fox and Taylor Swift. I am talking about normal girls that you see out in nightclubs or bars, at work or in the mall. Chances are you have seen women who are less attractive than you (or fatter or older) doing it successfully. If they can do it, so can you.

One final note: there are very few women that are purely sexy or purely cute. Most are some mix of the two. Megan Fox almost always looks sexy and Taylor Swift almost always looks cute (which is why I used them as examples here). What is powerful about these two women is that they both clearly have the ability to pull off both looks if they want to; what is unfortunate is that neither of them do so very often (at least in the public eye). While being a mix of sexy and cute is better than being only one or the other, the ideal is having the ability to be completely one or the other at will. Since cute is easier to achieve, most women need to focus on building their confidence to look sexy.

Hair And Makeup Variety

This post used to link to a blog in which a girl had posted photos of herself everyday for a few years. The photos illustrated how much her hair and makeup could change her attractiveness. However, the girl asked me to remove the photos, since she decided to remove her project from the internet.

You Can Control How Attractive You Are

I already have a fairly lengthy post making this point, but I am not convinced I made it strongly enough. I want to present it again in another medium, namely, photos.

Example one:

Notice the difference between Scarlett Johansson's attractiveness in the two photos above. The contrast is impressive. On the left, where she is dressed the way many American college girls dress for their morning classes, I'd say she is about 5, and I am probably padding that number just because I know she is a celebrity and can look the way she does on the right, where she is close to a 10. The only uncontrollable element of Scarlett Johansson's attractiveness between the two photos is the lighting, which counts for very little. Same girl, different level of attention paid to her appearance, dramatically different result.

It is true, of course, that Scarlett Johansson has professionals working with her to help her look this good. However, I could not disagree more that cosmetologists make a difference in excess of what any girl can do for herself, assuming she is willing to invest the time and effort to learn how. And I don't think the amount of time or effort required is as large as you might think. Cosmetologists are professionals only because they know how to make any woman attractive. They know the principles and are experts at applying them quickly for a variety of people. But you only need to become an expert on one person - yourself - and this is significantly easier.

Here is another example, less extreme but still telling:

On the left, Jenna Fischer is about a 5, maybe a 5.5. On the right, she is a 7.5. The difference is in her hair, posture, makeup and the color of her clothes. If she wore better clothes still I think she could get up to an 8.5, but she rarely does, judging from the photos I could find online.

Another example:

On the left, Carrie Underwood is a solid 7. On the right, she is a 9.5. In this case, the discrepancy has a lot to do with wearing her best colors getting the right amount of contrast, her hair, eyebrow shape and the hoop earrings. I'd argue that Carrie Underwood has maximized her attractiveness in the right photo. Nakedness, heels and lingerie might bump it up a notch, but otherwise she is playing all the right cards.

Here is a a non-celebrity example:

I don't know who the girl is, but on the left, she is about a 3. On the right, I'd say she is a 5. In this case, most of the change comes from hair length (yes, she is probably wearing extensions, but eventually she could grow it), plucked eyebrows, better clothes and a little makeup. By losing weight, spending more time on her hair and choosing her clothes even more carefully, she has potential to be a 7 maybe even an 8. You wouldn't believe this by looking at the photo on the left, but it is much more obvious once the improvements have been started.

Here is Kate Gosselin:

Left: 2; center: 4; right: 7.5. That is an overall increase of 5.5 points, largely accounted for by hair length, clothes and most importantly, weight loss (apparently a tummy tuck too, but she did have sextuplets... I call it fair). I don't know if she could look much better, but she'd done a damn good job leveraging what she has to work with.

If you want to see more examples, try using the term "makeover before and after" in an image search, or search for pictures of celebrities without makeup. You might argue that all of the women above have pretty faces, so they all have some initial potential to be attractive. There is some truth to this, namely, that they have the potential to be more attractive; but it does not mean that a girl with an asymmetric face, enormous nose or irreparably crooked teeth is doomed to be ugly. I've seen pretty girls that match all of those descriptions. True, a girl like this probably can't become as attractive as Carrie Underwood, or maybe even Kate Gosselin. However, the ability to improve her look is still there; she will just have to focus on the other aspects of feminine beauty to make that improvement, and there are many to choose from. The main reason I didn't put up photos to demonstrate this is that I couldn't find any. Most of the "before-and-after" photos on the internet are of famous people, and most famous people have attractive faces. But consider Lady Gaga or Paris Hilton: neither of them have pretty faces, but both of them (can) look attractive. Also, consider this woman:

Although she actually has a decent facial structure, a lot of people would say that she has an ugly face if they only saw the left photo. But on the right, when the same face is presented well, it is clear that the problem is not facial structure, but rather, presentation. So be careful about assuming you have a bad face. Most likely you do not, and even even if you do, there is still a lot you can do to improve your look.

Anyway, the ultimate point, again, is that no one has to be ugly. By making an effort, you can drastically improve your appearance and attractiveness, and in many instances, girls can transition from "ugly" to attractive. And while you may think you have optimized your own look, it is unlikely that you have. Think carefully about your weight, the color and cut of your clothes, your hair style, grooming, makeup, posture, etc. All of these things can make a huge difference, and can be leveraged to increase you attractiveness.

Feminine Beauty Is Highly Controllable

Advice abounds for women looking to score a guy, and some sources actually have solid suggestions. But while these sources tell women all kinds of strategies for being approachable or meeting new people, none of them address the most important matter: appearance. A number of the articles I've read have promising titles or sub-titles, but they qualify the initial admonition to "look good" with so many caveats and clarifications that by the end they've essentially told the reader to "be herself" - which is nothing more than a waste of her time.

The topic is avoided because women do not realize how controllable their appearance is. This is understandable, because if female beauty were not controllable, telling a woman she could attract more men if she would just improve her looks would be no more useful than suggesting a paraplegic man "just" learn how to dunk a basketball to impress women. On top of providing no worthwhile advice, it would serve as a painful reminder of her inadequacies. However, the notion that a woman's attractiveness is anything less than highly controllable is patently false.

Time and time again, I see the same thing: the women who aren't getting attention from men fall almost entirely into two categories:

1. Women that are unfit
2. Women that do not present themselves well

Hopefully you noticed something important about this list: it does not include women who have "ugly" faces, or even deformities. Obviously, natural good looks cannot be overlooked, but they are given far more credit than they deserve. It is the height of hyperbole - you might even say a myth - that women are either born attractive or not.

To drive this point home, I spent entirely too much time identifying the various components of feminine beauty and quantifying the importance of each one. The result of this effort is shown in the table below. (By clicking on the table or pie charts you can enlarge them.)

Notes about how I generated the numbers in the table can be found here.

• The 'Importance' percentages simply indicate how much each aspect listed matters to a woman's overall appearance. They collectively add up to 100 %, so they can be literally interpreted as a percentage of overall beauty.
• The 'Controllability' rankings indicate the amount of control a woman has over the various aspects of her appearance. 0 % represents completely uncontrollable aspects of beauty, while 100 % represents those that are completely controllable. Some items in the table are 0 % controllable to most people, but 100 % controllable to others (for example, breast size and facial structure are both alterable in extreme cases by plastic surgery). The controllability ratings for these items are a guess at the average between those extremes, based on the frequency of occurrence. Or, for example, even though a girl can't change her bone structure, 'height' is rated at a nominal 8 % because there is a small amount of controllability with the size of heels a girl chooses to wear.
• The 'Attention Deserved' is an index that is calculated by multiplying the Importance by the Controllability, and dividing the product by the collective sum of these products. This can be reasonably interpreted as the percentage of the total time spent on her appearance a girl should devote to each item in need of attention. So a girl that is overweight would be justified in spending 72 % of her time (that is, the time that she invests in her appearance) only on losing weight; or a girl whose clothes don't usually complement her complexion would be smart to spend 8 % of the time she invests in her appearance on shopping for clothes that work well with her look (or on earning extra money for that specific purpose). Obviously, no one is going to count the minutes or hours. The point, though, is that some things are worth spending more time on than others. Don't waste your time worrying about your eyelashes (1 %) when you are overweight (42 %) - go to the gym.

I've also put the data into a few pie charts. This is what you should care about (Importance Rating):

Components of Feminine Beauty by Importance Rating

This is what you should spend your time on (Attention Deserved):

Components of Feminine Beauty by Attention Deserved

Now, even though I have gone to rigorous ends to elicit these ratings from the recesses of my mind, obviously they are still relative to my personal taste. That being said, while men will all disagree over the minutiae of female beauty, few will disagree with the important aspects. This post should give you a solid idea of what matters to most guys, and how much.

While the numbers speak for themselves, I want to highlight one main point: notice how controllable the most important aspects of female beauty are. To wit:

• 18 % of feminine beauty is more than 100 % controllable. This means that if a girl is not opting to do these things, she is missing out on 1.8 points out of ten due to ignorance or a personal decision. Included in this 18 % are simple things like wearing heels and jewelry or removing excess body hair.
• 63 % of feminine beauty is more than 80 % controllable. This is the driving point behind this "analysis," expressed numerically. If you take nothing else away from this post, remember this. It means that you are in control of your appearance far more than you think. It means that the time and effort you put into your appearance will produce results. Do not worry if your gut tells you otherwise; your gut is informed by beauty pageants and "100 Hottest Women" lists, and a thousand other influences that both reinforce and reflect the notion that beauty is a matter of winning the genetic gene pool - i.e. a matter of 'haves' vs. 'have-nots.' This notion is bullshit. That 63 % of beauty is at least 80 % controllable means that no girl needs to be less than a five on the ten scale (0.80 x 63 % = 5.0). If you present yourself well and get in great shape, you will be above average. And for those of you that are naturally about average, the sky's your limit.
• Only 32 % of feminine beauty is less than 30 % controllable. In other words, there is very little about your appearance that cannot be improved.

One final pie chart to summarize these three points:

Far too many women fail to recognize the leverage they have over their own appearance. This leverage translates directly into control over the ability to attract men.

For photos of women improving their appearance, check out this post.