Monday, August 13, 2012

The Big Picture

Somehow I missed reading this post in detail when it was written, but I just did, and really liked it:

Hooking Up Smart: 25 Politically Incorrect But Effective Ways To Make Him Your Boyfriend

I actually disagree with a couple small things in the list, but it paints an excellent overall picture of how a girl should dispose herself towards men if she wants them (or just one) to love her. Especially if you are young, or inexperienced with men (perhaps you didn't have much instruction from your parents about the opposite sex) I highly recommend setting this as the backdrop for the more specific things you learn about how to attract men.

16 comments:

  1. We are both linked to from Delusion Dammage- would you like to exchange links with me directly?

    http://ghostnation.blogspot.co.uk/

    I am provisionaly linking to you in any case.

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  2. curious as to what you find disagreeable...they all look good to me

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  3. 21. Delay sex until you have achieved emotional intimacy.

    How does a girl know when she has reached emotional intimacy with a guy?

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    1. emotional intimacy is achieved when the man (without being forced or prompted directly- very important) opens up and talks about his feelings - doesn't necessarily needs to be towards the girl in question at the start, or at great length, but it is a sign of core trust. also can be read from body language cues. an intuitive woman will know when a man is being sincere.

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  4. What do you disagree with?

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  5. Andrew, thanks so much! I haven't forgotten our earlier discussion about guest posting. Perhaps we could trade places for a day?

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    Replies
    1. Sounds good to me. Just let me know when you have the time to do it.

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  6. I really like the article because it does highlight some of the things I have been doing both right and wrong in the past but I also like the way it adds at the end that men must pull their weight also. Sometimes I feel with some relationship articles on the Internet it's almost as if the woman should transform herself into some kind of martyr for the sake of a man's affections..this is bullshit..both parties should carry equal weight.

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    Replies
    1. There's still a frightening ghostly image of the 50's Stepford wife in that list though.

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  7. Would you let us know what you disagree with ?!

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  8. "Work hard to engage his coworkers, friends or family in a friendly and generous way."

    Okay, so if I'm dating a guy - should I actually make further "effort" with his friends? I've always thought that I should be as nice as possible, have a good tone with them if I'm introduced, if I become close friends with his sister/friends - great. But I've never been one to initiate it. His friends are his friends and if he in fact does want to have a social life which occasionally doesn't include me, he's free to have that. I'll want to have some time alone with my best friends too.
    I know girls who start dating a guy and immediately add ALL his best friends on facebook. I can't say if that makes or breaks a relationships, I'm just not sure how "pushy" one should be with those things? Isn't it okay to just leave it and let him make the "arrangements" when it comes to befriending his friends?

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    1. I don't think that suggestion implies that you should initiate. "Work hard" could mean "be extra conscious of yourself around his friends so that they don't think you are a bitch" or just "make an extra effort to be friendly."

      I somewhat agree that you don't need to initiate, but I also don't think there is anything wrong with taking a little initiative in being friendly with his friends either - starting a conversation by asking them about themselves, for example, would be a good move.

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  9. So if being a non b*tchy/supportive/generous women is what men want, why do so many of them date and tolerate bitches?

    I think I know the answer your going to say "They (girls) are hot enough"

    So if you answer that way, my question then is,

    1. What is the correlation of being a hot woman to bitchyness
    2. Does being b*tchy create higher SMV for an average looking woman

    AnonymousLilly

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    1. Because their priority over having a woman who supports them is having a woman who respects herself and has well-established personal boundaries.

      Recognizing this and understanding it is critical to success in dating (and life, in fact).

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  10. There is that book called "why men love bitches".. Men want a woman who has good boundaries and who isn't a doormat. A woman can be sweet etc. But men want to know that he has to earn her love and sweetness..

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