Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The Female Mustache


Every once in a while I meet a girl who is cute, aside from a noticeable dusting of hair on her upper lip. Usually it isn't visible from several yards away (i.e. visible enough to prevent an approach or introduction), but can be seen clearly at conversational distance. What usually follows in these situations is a brief conversation, the earliest possible (and polite) exit, and then a comment between me and any other male I am with - out of earshot, of course:

"Dude, did you see that??"

"What, the hair? Yeah man, what a shame. She was cute otherwise, and pretty cool too, but that shit was creepy."

I've always been shocked that girls don't do something about it on their own initiative. It occurred to me that they might not realize it is unattractive - or maybe that they don't think it is noticeable. So if you have more hair than the average girl, get rid of it. I am not entirely sure what the best methods are, but it needs to be taken care of: wax it, get it removed by laser, or at very least, bleach it.

Below is a picture that illustrates the upper limit of what is acceptable. If you have less lip hair than this, you can probably get away with it unnoticed. If you have this much hair or more, take care of it.


32 comments:

  1. I think girls who have this know they have it and don't care what others think. More women need to have this characteristic. It's not my personal style, but I admire anyone who is confident enough to show it and not care if anyone thinks it's unsightly. If someone doesn't like it, they can look away.

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    1. That's fine, I am just saying that men don't like it. So IF you are trying to attract men, ditch the 'stache.

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    2. Oh. You mean to attract shallow asshole men? Yeah. Because that's what you sound like. With this said, I'm sure your body is flawless and your balls smell like a fresh ocean breeze.

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    3. Ha! Yes, yes they do smell like fresh ocean breeze.

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    4. While we're on etiquette, I once broke up with a guy who has residual toilet paper in his ass, which I fortunately noticed before having sex with him. That doesn't make me shallow.

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    5. A moustache on a girl as "personal style"? Lol that's like a guy sporting breasts as a personal style, right?

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    6. Hi Andrew,

      You really don't know what all men prefer. Each man is different. Apparently, you haven't heard of hirsute worship. It exists.

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    7. I completely agree that women need to take care of the mustache quickly and get rid of it!!! But also I think some women probably just didn't realize it was that noticeable!!!

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  2. I used to want to bleach my peach fuzz but my mom used to be vehemently opposed to it, saying that I was being ridiculous. Thanks to your post, I'll shell out $5 and get it threaded (least painful way of hair removal)

    Andrew, what do you think about sideburns? On one hand, they narrow my face (which would otherwise look round) but I'm now wondering if there is something masculine about the side-burn.

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    1. As long as they aren't stiff like male whiskers, I think they CAN work, but I am sure that in some cases they look bad too. It really depends.

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    2. Rule thumb on the 'female sideburns' - except on women certain ethnicities with very corse hair, they will in NO WAY be stiff/whiskers like a man's beard hair. In fact, if anything, this area of hair on women (like hair at the nape of the neck) will be finer than the rest of their hair.

      It's perfectly feminine to have a hairline nest to the ear that dips down the the hollow under your cheekbone. If the hair is creeping down to earlobe, or god forbid jawline, then it needs to be waxed to keep it the hollow of the cheekbone. This is the part that makes narrows your face anyway, any hair growing lower than that looks like a werewolf.

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  3. Facial hair is a masculine trait even though many females have a little and some have more than a little. Therefore its a big turn off for men, until we see Vs models with moustaches this won't change.Electrolysis is good if you have a little and laser is better if you have more.

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  4. Thank goodness I found this post! Otherwise I would have totally missed out on attracting the shallowest men in the universe! However, I usually find that men's eyes are so drawn to my massive shelf, that they're completely incapable of looking at my face :)

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    1. Well, at least you have that going for you...


      This is basic grooming, people. If you want to make sure you are not attracting a "shallow" man, I am sure you must also be dressing to minimize you "shelf" (such a LOVELY term, BTW), not wearing make up, and likely own no mirrors.

      Let us know how that works out for you

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    2. Sarah, don't be such an idiot.

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    3. hate to break it to ya, but yes, men are superficial. Us women are too. Regarding the 'stache, I was fourteen with a nice one, and a guy told me "get rid of the 'stache" It was the most embarassing thing ever, but I did and I had a boyfriend soon. The way the world goes round...

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  5. Women; if you have a mustache, beard unibrow WAX IT OFF. Do not bleach it, because all it looks like is that you still have a mustache it is now just blonde or a strange orangish color. If you have more facial hair than a guy he will notice you but not in a good way. Also you are probably insecure about your abundance of facial hair and therefore are lacking confidence. By removing your mustache you will feel better about yourself exude confidence, which will help not only attracting a guy but being confident is a positive in every arena of life. So if you are looking in the mirror and not sure if you need to wax or not...the fact that you are questioning it probably means its time to make an appointment. Why cover your beautiful face with hair.

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    Replies
    1. Personally I recommend threading over waxing for removing facial hair. Waxing pulls on the entire strip of skin, whereas threading pulls only the hair. Let's try not to apply that much blunt force to our facial skin, because that's how wrinkles develop.

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  6. I have black hair with somewhat light skin, so when the hair grows, it shows. When I didn't have time to get threading done at a salon, I looked like a dude. Then I found a device that I can use at home to achieve the same result. Go to amazon and search for R.E.M. spring facial hair remover. It works great. I use it consistently and no longer have to worry about facial hair.

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  7. the tone of this article is really gross, i've had several boyfriends who don't mind hair. i'm european and my body hair is very dark and very thick, and i spend literally 40+ mins in the bath JUST shaving my legs and pubes. every boyfriend i've had has been really sympathetic and not minded if i've been a little hairy. removing a moustache is really painful, and honestly if i remove my moustache it's for ME, not for any guys that might make fun of me. if you make fun of girls for having moustaches then honestly grow up.

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    1. Fuck you! Its not disgusting at all! All women have to go through it!

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    2. If you have that amount of body hair, you should find a different way of dealing with it.
      I'm fair skinned with light hairs and I still take care of ALL the hair on my body (even on my face although they're barely visible - when you put makeup on is when they show).

      I've done laser hair removal on my bikini area and armpits and I do hair removal cream on my face. I used the hair removal cream once a week, ten minutes each time and it's not expensive either.
      I have sensitive skin so if I can find products that work for me, anyone can.
      Laser hair removal only works on darker hairs, otherwise I would have done legs too. If you have dark body hair you are "lucky" in the sense that it can be permanently removed. It's probably one of the most important investments you can make. 40+ mins every day is ridiculous.

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  8. Let's face it, if she has an obvious moustache when she's twenty, by the time she's fifty she'll probably have given up on other methods of hair removal and be shaving every day. If you can't face shaving with her, then she's not for you.

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  9. I know my tiny 'stache is unattractive (not the big blue one, that's purely ornamental), so I try my best to pluck it away. And it takes so much time to shave my legs, pits, and groom the fun zone. And pluck the little stray hairs here and there. Shape my eyebrows. Nose hairs. Everything everywhere on a woman. It's enough that at 34 I'm heartbroken hearing just how much this shit matters. I'm not arguing or denying it, but that doesn't make me feel any less like a cracked vase on display. Which I am.

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    1. oh wow, please don't feel like that!! everybody has this stuff, and listen, it sucks for everyone! Nobody likes iy but it is actually just like grass... you want it pretty, keep grooming !!! You will be fine, please don't be upset !!!

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  10. Laser hair removal method has gained so much popularity due to its time saving and precision factor. I personally feel that this is an effective method if proper advises are taken laser hair removal.

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  11. All this hair-hate needs to stop. Ladies, if you are fortunate enough to be able to grow a moustache/beard, keep it and be proud of it! And go to the doctor's and get checked out for PCOS. But mostly be proud of what you have!

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  12. This Andrew guy is trying to be an expert about female mustache, skin, hair, etc. etc.
    This man is 28 yr. old when he started this blog? What the hell does this guy know about love, hair, skin and so on. All he knows is what shallow guys like him/his age find unaatractive about the opposite sex.

    These shallow men are quick to point out what's wrong with a girl unaware of their own flaws. They probably did not notice they have a steering wheel burn on their beer belly.

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    1. "All he knows is what shallow guys like him/his age find unaatractive about the opposite sex."

      I take issue with the claim that this is "all" that I know, but I'll agree it is somewhat shallow. The point, however, is that whether you like it or not, this is how men think, and you can either lash out at it by attacking the credibility of the messenger, or you can learn from it.

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  13. I do not understand why some women are arguing with the author of this post. I am a female and I can say that female mustache is unattractive (in fact, it looks awful).
    As for 'shallowness' of Andrew, I can only say that the very fact that he is shallow and cynical makes his posts even more valuable for women. He clearly states what puts him off in women and he clearly states what makes him to respect some women (for example, those women who are not chasing men, etc.). If such a cynical guy has respect for some women, than you better listen to what he is saying and behave accordingly and then your type of behaviour/looks will have even greater effect on less cynical men. As for me I want to know how the men think and that is why it is useful to read articles written by men.

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