Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Why Men Like Draped Necklaces

I've been noticing lately that I really like it when women wear long necklaces. I recently stopped to think about why, and I realized that long necklaces break over the crest of a woman's breasts and hang in mid-air below them, thereby subconsciously drawing a man's attention to them. If you have reasonably sized breasts (B-cup and above), this is a good thing; use it to your advantage. I would rank the effect of this right up there with the attractiveness boost you get from large earrings.

If you have smaller breasts, a necklace like this can still look good, just not for the same reasons. It might instead pull together an outfit or add ornament to a plain top. I'd err on the smaller side, but I wouldn't categorically avoid them for fear of drawing attention to the fact that your breasts aren't your best asset.

A couple other things I noticed: a necklace is definitely too long if it hangs below your belly button, and it is too fat (relative to the length) if it's thickness prevents it from draping gracefully over your breasts.

OK now I am going to stop with the fashion advice before readers start questioning my sexuality...


Related Posts
1. The Bigger The Hoops, The Bigger The Whore
2. Feminine Beauty is Highly Controllable
3. Don't Wear Sneakers
4. Be Careful About Wearing Large-Shouldered Tops

76 comments:

  1. Nodding in demure agreement until you just had to laugh at the last sentence!

    Question: What do you think of ladies wearing perfume? How do you think they should wear it to accentuate their attractiveness - scent/strength-wise? And does your preference vary by the age bracket of the lady? Waiting appreciatively for your masculine view, of course =).

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    Replies
    1. Women wearing perfume depends on the man, just as men wearing cologne depends on the woman. Some people just don't like strong fragrances, on themselves or others. Some like a light scent, some like a strong scent. Personally, when it's strong, I feel like I can't breathe--it makes me gag. I prefer a light scent, or just a woman's natural scents: light, fresh sweat is OK; the scent of her soap/bodywash; the scent of her shampoo in her hair.

      As far as actual scents go, I've heard it said that men love scents that include vanilla and/or fruit, because it reminds them of home.

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    2. Grown women have a signature cologne for day, and perfume for night. Neutral, could be kinda spicey and androgynous day, and something serious for night. Americans do day scents very well. The French do night very well. Drop a lot of money on a classic Chanel or Guerlain scent until you find one you like. And then wear it.

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    3. I love light perfume on a woman. Personally I usually prefer the simple "young" fruity scents over the more edgy sophisticated ones. Then again some variety is good too, depending on time/place/season.

      Delete
  2. Breast related question: what do you think of push up bras?

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    1. Men are not all boob-men. Some are leg men. I prefer to walk upstairs behind my girl. I shrug at push-up bras. They're totally obvious and don't mislead or deceive or promote. They're just push-up bras. If your boyfriend is a boob man he might like the bra-based enhancement. Do humanity a favor though and don't get a boob job, if he suggests it or offers to pay for it.

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    2. I wouldn't consider a boob job because I'm a feminist (yes, I know I shouldn't have used "the f word" on a blog like this, but I'm not here to fight that battle). But I think that if a woman's only goal is to attract and keep a man then boob jobs and push up bras would be the way to go. After all it is not a mystery that most celebrities have done it and these are still the women that men lust after the most. While I am against objectification of women, a woman who would want to take advantage of being objectified would probably benefit from a boob job, am I wrong?

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    3. If by "objectified" you mean seen more attractive and feminine by most men, then yes. As long as the job is done well and not exaggerated, it's a plus. How much of an advantage it is, is difficult to say. It's not more "objectifying"/improving than anything else a woman does to look attractive, i.e. hair, makeup, staying in shape. But for women who have already perfected many other traits, a boob job is definitely an advantage.

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    4. No i don't mean to say that looking good is a bad thing. It helps to look good both if you're a girl or guy. But a plastic surgery is a big modification, and i blame the objectification for forcing women to go to such lengths to feel worthy

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    5. I'm against all boon jobs. I'd never want my girl to get one. I worry about the potential health risks and botched jobs. I think a woman should make the best of what she's got by staying fit, dressing well, makeup, etc. But no surgery.

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    6. i mean BOOB, not boon.

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    7. In a few centuries, our descendants will look back on women sticking bags of silicon in their chests and think that we're insane, just like we think that Elizabethan women were crazy for putting lead paint on their faces.

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  3. I think wearing push-up bras while dating is deceitful. Once you have a boyfriend, and he knows what your breasts really look like, I think push-up bras can be fun.

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    1. As long as you don't grossly misrepresent your "size" by wearing one, I don't see the problem. You could say the same thing about wearing skinny jeans to give the impression of larger hips. In moderation these kinds of things are smart, not deceitful.

      As a guy, I don't hold it against a girl for wearing a push-up or padded bra. It increases my pleasure when I see her clothed; and when I get her naked for sex, I'm too distracted by the thought of penetration to think much about her breast size.

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    2. Besides, outside of visual stimulation, more than a handful is just wasted (except for titty-fucking).

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    3. Are you people fucking kidding me? Push ups are deceitful?

      How about, some girls like the look they give?

      But no, women are evil!

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    4. I am not against push ups. But to the comment above, c'mon really? Every girl I knew that ever wore push ups did it because she liked the way it looked...get this...BECAUSE she wanted bigger boobs. I have never met a girl with the perfect breast size choosing push up bras. It's not because they prefer the design. It is because it gives them what Mother Nature didn't. Don't play dumb.

      And no one said woman are evil. It's just a gross misrepresentation of your body. It's like finding out the guy you were attracted to and dating for a month was wearing a body suit the whole time. Then you take it off to have sex after months of dating to see a scrawny guy. I am sure that you would be pissed. You wouldn't think he was evil. You would think it was DECEITFUL.

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    5. Im a 34F and love push-up bras...IDK push ups make my breasts look higher and depending on the bra gives me the "lifted and separated" look" or the VS model mega cleavage look. The fact that push-ups come in large sizes would support the argument that some women wear them because they like the look, not necessarily for increased size.

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    6. Those size bras that you are referring to come mostly in push ups. It is because woman with breasts that big need something more heavy to lift them.

      You will not find a lot of thin lacy bras in 34F. So, it is not because of the look. It is more due to functionality and availability.

      Anyway, they are referencing small breasted women in this argument. Most people want to get or fake larger breasts= really padded bras and implants. Not a big deal. Just find it strange that people curse and get offended by the obvious. Push ups were first formulated for small breasted woman. And yes, it's no lie that men find it deceitful. Most can see why. Is this even a question?

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    7. Deceitful is still completely the wrong word.Most women choose to wear push up/enhancing bras because of general insecurity about the size of their breasts (probably brought on by society's overall obsession with big boobs) NOT simply as a cunning way to 'trick' men...

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  4. 'Deceitful' is kind of a strong word. However, I'm single and personally I choose not to wear bras that make my breasts look much bigger because I'm fairly small and wouldn't want any potential boyfriends to be disappointed when they finally see them 'unsheathed.' It is kind of false advertising in a way. Of course, some dresses and tops call out for a push up bra but I wouldn't wear them on a daily basis.

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    Replies
    1. You're right, deceitful is too harsh. When I wrote that I was thinking of those bras that add 3 cup sizes or something crazy. Wearing a bra that gives a little enhancement to what you naturally have is fine.

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  5. Haha please don't stop with the fashion advice! Its super helpful :)

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  6. Hmm disagree on this one, Andrew. The length of a necklace doesn't do anything for me one way or the other. Here's what I find sexy:

    http://image.dhgate.com/albu_269516787_00-1.0x0/2012-fashion-jewelry-sexy-women-s-necklace.jpg

    http://www.anyanne.com/720-866-large/720oc-wine-red-velvet-simple-sexy-choker-victorian-necklace.jpg

    I think it's more about emphasizing the bare neck/shoulders.

    --A guy

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  7. Title: Why Men Like Draped Necklaces
    First line: I've been noticing lately that I really like it when women wear long necklaces. I recently stopped to think about why, and I realized that...

    I, I, I.

    Did you actually do any research, or did you just project your preference for necklace length onto all men?

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    Replies
    1. this is his blog, not the encyclopedia britannica. he is not obligated to do any research. he can just go ahead and say what he wants. if you disagree, you are free to say so.

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    2. This is like asking whether or not you researched your decision to open the window on the bus in the middle of summer because you were sweating your ass off. Did you poll all of the other people to see if they were hot? or were the beads of sweat rolling down your own forehead enough to know?

      Delete
    3. You're projecting this to the public (namely women you think are doing something wrong) like some kind of prophet who knows what all men want. Your blog is shit.

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    4. No, he is stating it as a personal preference. He noticed that other men are in agreement with him. Either way, he can blog about whatever he thinks. Don't be jealous just because a lot of people actually care what he thinks. Or maybe your just don't look so hot, so you are poking at his theories. We have all seen those posts before too.

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  8. Question for the guys: wouldn't you enjoy sex more if you had some nice size breasts and a great ass to grab during sex? ..IN ADDITION to the benefits of penetration?? There's more to great sex than penetration.

    I agree re not wearing ultra/very padded/push up bras. It is deceitful but more so a reflection of a woman's insecurity. A lightly lined bra is good to protect nipples from showing esp in the work-environment, but too much padding makes a woman look stupid and insecure.

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    Replies
    1. Well yeah, of course. I am not saying men won't prefer that, I am just saying that they aren't scrutinizing these kinds of things at the moment when you reveal them most - even though you might assume they are.

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    2. FYI, you toe the line, you don't tow it.

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    3. I'm a 36D and I sometimes wear a padded bra which makes my breasts look 2 sizes bigger. I wear it to give myself a better shape in outfits and not for the titillation of men. So far, no guy has even paid attention to the fact my boobs look bigger in a bra when we get down and dirty. I really don't see it as false advertising and I don't care if men think that it is. But saying that, I don't plan on buying another bra like that when I have to chuck away the current one.

      I take issue with you saying that women who wear padded bras are insecure. That's a very short-sighted way to look at it.

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    4. Andrew-just so I'm clear, how does one perfect penetration? There's a lot that can go wrong in the process. Curious on how to deal w nervousness and pleasure.

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    5. Look, men are just happy to be having sex by the time they get there. If a man sees you for more than that, I am sure that he would figure out what your actual bra size was. It's pretty easy to tell whose boobs are real or fake. Some guys care and others don't. And then there are guys that don't have a size preference.

      Who cares why those girls wear whichever bras? If it is due to insecurity, I haven't met a woman yet that doesn't have them. Don't act like you think you are perfect. And I am writing this as one who doesn't need any padding. I have had friends with size A breasts. So what that they wore padded bras?

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    6. I like female breasts of all sizes, as long as they are natural and not too big (like hanging below the belly button).

      Waist-to-hip RATIO is more important than "a great ass to grab".

      Waist of 70% of the hip is ideal (examples: Marilyn Monroe, Jessica Alba, Alessandra Ambrosio, and even Kate Moss, despite her apparent lack of curves).

      Delete
  9. Good post! Made me laugh, reread the hoops one and laugh more:D. Random appearance-related question: how much is too much muscle? I like going to the gym and enjoy tough workouts.. But sometimes I think my body is kind of unfeminine. So just curious: where is the line between "toned" in a good sense and too muscular?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most men want your body to be tight, but without muscle definition. That is a hard line to tow, I know, but you asked! If you are asking this kind of question, the practical answer is: you looking fucking awesome already, don't sweat it.

      I have met some guys who prefer the muscled look, but this is not normal. Most guys I talk to say it's disgusting.

      Delete
    2. Don't men's opinion vary on this, perhaps according to their own lifestyle?
      I know some guys say they want a woman's ass to be round and high but soft to touch (combined with a flat stomach and slim arms and all that of course). My ex said that a woman's body should be slim with a teeny waist but soft. Speaking from what some men post to instagram and facebook, they prefer an ass that is actually hard.
      So I suppose in conclusion you just can't please everybody? I personally don't think an overly firm ass consisting only of muscles is feminine or nice to touch, and as someone who makes the effort to look good, it's not my laziness speaking.

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    3. Do you mean muscular like this woman?

      http://zuzkalight.com/

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    4. My boyfriend is a bodybuilder. He appreciates what it takes to have muscle, but says at the end of the day, its not what he wants to hold close to his body. He likes curves. Specifically, a big butt, hips, small waist and great legs. He could have the fitness model type girlfriend, but is not attracted to that. Some men are, but most men that I know, like feminine looking women. I lift weights almost daily, but not to extremes.

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    5. FYI, you toe the line, you don't tow it.

      Delete
    6. Slim is good. Flat tummy is good. Lean legs are good. Muscular is bad. A six pack is bad. Women should be soft. I don't want to feel like a man is pressed up against me lol.

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    7. Don't talk about what women "should" be. Jesus Christ, why do you think a woman's appearance is any of your damn business?

      Delete
  10. are men really this observant? Now I'm scared of walking down the street knowing every part of me is analyzed by the male mind lmaooooo

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    Replies
    1. I think it's not that they deliberately notice but rather it is subconscious. They don't think "that necklace makes me look at her boobs" but rather "look at her boobs." And if your boobs are a good asset of yours, work them!

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    2. Exactly. It's not as if a man will look at you and think "Wow, she looks good today. I can tell she spent a decent amount of time on her hair and makeup and put a lot of thought into what jewelry will enhance that outfit and I find that kind of foresight attractive"

      It's probably more along the lines of "Wow, she looks good. Hope she can't see my erection"

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    3. Phew that's a relief!

      Delete
  11. you forgot to say "no homo"

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  12. I've been reading through this blog and came to the following conclusion: while being feminine is generally boring for many girls, it's value in attracting men is undeniable. My conclusion is that it is worthwhile to put forth your feminine side only when around men, while saving your manly behaviors for the company of your girlfriends, or in the workplace. It might seem insincere, but then we all behave differently depending on the company we're in. By boring behaviors i mean acting sensitive or like you need to be taken care of, letting the men make all the decisions. I've seen some very masculine women (at least masculine on the inside) effectively pull that off. They were perceived s feminine while their true masculinity added to their confidence.

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    1. "i mean acting sensitive or like you need to be taken care of, letting the men make all the decisions."
      For how long? The rest of your life?

      Delete
  13. Andrew what do you think of girls wearing glasses (for vision purposes, not fashion)?Yay or nay?

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    Replies
    1. Like does it lessen the attractiveness level?

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    2. Depends on the guy. I personally don't get why women who wear glasses wear those hipster frames with the thick dark frames. All they do is draw attention to the fact that you wear glasses. I think light, frameless or half-frame glasses are much more attractive and detract less from your beauty.

      Delete
    3. Glasses can actually do a lot to improve a woman's attractiveness. Sometimes they can actually be used to (for example) give a thinner look to a wide face, or add width to a long face. Heavy dark rims can add contrast and ornament to an otherwise plain face, etc.

      The thick rimmed glasses look isn't every guy's favorite look, but usually they dislike it because it's done poorly. I've seen thick glasses made to look quirky, cute, hot, and sexy. It just depends what you surround them with, and your demeanor.

      I definitely wouldn't say that they are categorically good or bad. I would just warn women to try a lot of different ones before settling on what's best for her.

      Delete
    4. I wore glasses from 2nd grade to age 21. As soon as I got contacts, I got a lot more male attention. I think it opens your face up and lets people actually see you.

      That being said, I don't think they're a turnoff by any means, many, many women rock them. But I didn't.

      Delete
    5. And if you're selecting frames to be most attractive to men, ask MEN for their opinion on how they look on you, not your girlfriends.

      Delete
  14. Hi Andrew! I do enjoy a lot your posts about fashion, they really help me in buying clothes and accessories, because I'm often clueless to what it's attractive to men, and what you reccomended always worked. Please, do more of those posts. For example, I'm looking for a bikini, but I don't know which shape is better... ;-) Thanks a lot for your work!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Question for men reading this blog and Andrew of course!
    Would you prefer long hair on a girl (way past shoulders) which is rather unhealthy
    or shoulder length hair that looks much healthier?
    I'm contemplating what haircut I should get

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    Replies
    1. Probably something in between those two. Does it look unhealthy just because it is extremely thin and the length draws attention to that?

      Who says it looks unhealthy?

      Delete
    2. It's me who thinks it looks unhealthy. It is also layered in a weird way - a result of my hair experiments. I want to even it out. I'm trying to go for a classier, more polished look thus my desire to cut it shorter. Do you think it's too much of a sacrifice?

      Delete
    3. And yes, my hair is naturally very thin (natural light blonde and curly - thinnest hair type out there)

      Delete
    4. Cut your hair shorter to get rid of the damaged hair once and for all, and then make an effort to really look after your hair. It should then begin to grow long and thick.

      See http://longhaircommunity.com/forums/indexvba.php

      Delete
    5. Man here. I like it past the shoulders, but above the small of the back.

      Delete
    6. It's true that long hair is sought after by men but you are right to consider a trim to rid your locks of the ratty, dry bits. A year ago my hair was in an awful mess..I had been dying it much too much, it was cracking off here and there and I actually had a few bald bits.

      Then I cut off what was not salvageable..started an nutritious diet full of hair friendly vitamins, I quit using heated tools, bleaches..etc. got a good conditioning mask and used it in the bath or steam room down the gym. This really works..now my hair is so thick I'm not sure what to do with it. I NEVER thought it would grow back. And it just took a year. I have curly hair too..avoid straighteners! Curly hair is much to delicate to handle the stress. Get it healthy using my advice and work with your texture.

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  16. Andrew,

    You are my cyber crush. I love your confidence and writing, but the fashion advice is killing it. Please return to the California greek god you are in my mind, and get back to the dating stuff. No more gay posts. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol :) in defense of andrew though, a woman's appearance is critical for her dating success. and fashion is part of appearance.

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    2. lolll hahahaaa I cracked up at this! California greek god wtff

      Delete
  17. As I type with my draped necklace...

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  18. Andrew, I agree, but would also add that a draped necklace sort of 'separates' a woman's boobs making her look leaner...another reason why having the right fitting bra makes all the difference in the world. Ladies, if your bra isn't tight up against your breast bone in the middle, or rides up in the back- you need a professional fitting.

    Uni-boob is the worst!

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  19. Well...I somewhat prefer that comment..bout long necklases,but also,there are those who wear slightly softer bras,with good sized breasts,and as they walk..they "have sexy bounce"to them...this is a very good way to present themselves...often,with button blouse,and the middle and top one,part just a little,in the middle,so thats good appeal...a necklace that hangs just on the ..cleavage is nice,gives excuse for men to look...often I have looked their briefly,and they have noticed that,and given quick smile,looking down as we pass each other...then I may pass a soft comment..."nice"....

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    Replies
    1. SMall boobs are JUST AS HOT AND SEXY AS BIG ONES!!! WTF???

      Delete
  20. Andrew-I really like this post! Can you write something about handbaggs and offer your thoughts on how working women who lug around laptops, heels, lunch, etc can still be attractive? In particular, what do you think about women with those rooler/mini-carry-ons/wheeled bags? I carry a lot fo things with me (ipad, books, shoes) and I try to carry as little as possible so as to not cause back injuries etc, but are there ways to manage everything in a suit and still be attractive? Appearicate your thoughts. LOVE, love, love the blog. Keep up the good work!

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  21. When, for the love of GOD,are SMALL breasts EVER going to get their much-long-deserved due? Like A cup or a SMALL B??? You men have no idea how much you hurt us with your huge mammary obsession...you worry over your penis size, but EXPECT all women to look like Barbie dolls!! Very unfair!

    ReplyDelete

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