Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Amy Young

I haven't come across many online dating advice resources for women that I consider valuable. You might have noticed that (until today) I didn't follow anyone on Twitter, and you probably notice that I don't have links to other websites anywhere on here. This is because most other dating advice resources for women basically suck. They either give advice that feeds people's need to feel like there are easy solutions, don't say anything insightful, or their authors are clearly more interested in their personal success than putting out quality content. I don't want to undermine my readers' trust for my content by recommending them.

Well, today I stumbled upon* an impressive exception. Her name is Amy Young and she has a YouTube channel and a blog. I haven't watched all of her videos or read all of her articles, but I've seen more than enough to recognize three things that set her apart:
  1. She's smart. Why this matters is kind of self-explanatory, but I am going to spell it out anyway: it means that she gets down the crux of your issues with men and dating, and she explains them clearly. (And to anticipate the comments: yes, in spite of what you may have inserted between the lines of my posts on the topic, intelligence in women is attractive.)
  2. She's genuine. She isn't dishing out advice from the "I do everything right and that's why you should listen to me" perspective like many supposed dating gurus. It comes much more from a place of "Yeah, I fucked this up too, but I see now where I went wrong; don't make the same mistake I did." And her advice is all the more trustworthy because of it.
  3. She's not a complainer. This is by far what sold me the most. People who don't complain are rare. Very, very, rare. And this is all the more true when it comes to talking about the behavior of the opposite sex. Aside from a couple tongue-in-cheek comments, her content is 100% devoid of the hackneyed, indulgent, "girls are good, guys are bad," victim-type undertones that pervade so much of the dating advice out there for women. That absence is a hallmark of someone with strong boundaries, and it demonstrates the kind of mindset you need to attract a quality guy. This is the kind of girl you want to be taking advice from.
Yeah, OK, she starts her videos by saying shit in an weird voice, and she puts gay music in the background of her videos. But you're girls so you probably like that stuff anyway.

I posted some videos below, but go check her out:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxbz8CzmZFjgKHJ3sbUoa1g
(link to her YouTube channel)

http://www.amyyoungcoaching.com/
(link to her website)

Here's one video that I kept saying "Holy shit, that is so true" to:

How to Reveal A Guy's True Intentions

Here is one that most girls need to hear:

What if All the "Good Guys" are Taken?

And in the vein of my last post (again, so true):

Dudes Lovin Lady Bodies 101

Enjoy.

--------------------------------
* Or, to be more accurate, I was recommended her channel by YouTube's apparently effective content match-up algorithms.

62 comments:

  1. I've watched the second video, and I do think that she makes a good point -> know what you want, and be prepared to work for it. However, I believe that in most cases a lot of this 'there are no good guys left' thing arises from unrealistic expectations and/or distorted self-perception. Some people have too long a check-list, whereby it would be impossible to find a partner who fits their criteria. Other girls, girls I know, regularly reject avocados (the guys that would be perfectly suitable for them and within their league) in favour of bananas (the uninterested "players"). They are unwilling to settle for anything less than that banana.

    I think that knowing what you want is important. But I also think that being reasonable about what you want, and can get, is imperative. While we should all aim to self-improve to obtain the best quality partner we're capable of getting, we must also recognise our limitations and be prepared to compromise in places.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Emily, you are so wise! I agree with you 100%!!!

      Delete
    2. As a guy who checks here occasionally for...espionage, I gues, I had these same thoughts watching the 2nd video. All I could think we're standard niceguy thoughts about X number of girls who turned me down (or reflexively brushed me off) only for me to later hear them complain about behavior that I wouldn't think of doing.

      I think the advice to be particular might get misapplied by some people, though. There are more types of fruit than just bananas and avocados, and my own (self-serving) advice would be for women to be LESS discerning about who they TALK to, and MORE discerning about who they DATE.

      Delete
  2. Andrew, dude... you can't say 'gay music' as an insult. Seriously. You're not 12.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He can say what he likes. Fuck our PC bullshit.

      Delete
  3. Hi Andrew! I absolutely love your blog. I just stumbled across it and have spent the past few days (literally) reading every single post. Thanks for taking the time to write it, it has been so useful to get a guy's perspective and I love your direct writing style.

    I really like this recommendation and totally love and agree with the second video! Guess I'll be spending the next few days watching her video's then...

    One thing - is it possible for you to get your links to open up in a new tab rather than opening up on the current page? As it is, clicking on a link (such as Amy's website above) causes the page I'm on (your site) to become the linked-to page and I'd prefer to still have your site open for reference and the new one open up in another tab. This would be especially useful in posts where you've referred to previous post mid-writing. I hope that make sense?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On my computer you can right-click (or click and hold down if it's a mobile device) and it will give you the option to open the new link in a new tab. I will see if it's possible to change in Blogger though.

      Delete
    2. Suggestion to watch Amy is sweet, Andrew. But to, maybe, women over particular age - let's say 36. With a formed dating, so to speak, personality. To younger girls the impression of rubber-faced female with mimics that mismatch the contents might be dangerous. Visual gurus can be a danger in principal to an undeveloped mind. At least written stuff don't stimulate that far and can be interpreted.

      Delete
  4. She's cute. She can definitely be an actress ;) Very animated. Good advice.
    I was wondering if you have ever written anything on Narcissists. I just ended a relationship (3 years) with a 51 year old man who is a Narcissist. Until then I thought narcissism was something else.. until I watched a YouTube video and was shocked. I was living those dynamics and I had fallen into this man’s trap like a naive little girl.
    I believe a lot of women out there (especially the ones who were raised by narcissistic fathers and became a somewhat co-dependent) like me have no idea of what a Narcissist is like or if that’s the man they are "in love" with. Maybe this could be an idea for a blog entry?
    Thank you for sharing your wisdom, Andrew.
    Giselle

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Read Esther Perel, if anything.

      Delete
  5. The Rules is fantastic advice for women, and written in an idiot proof way!

    ReplyDelete
  6. And I'm not sure about the second video ... do men really fall in these two groups? A banana guy for one girl will become an avocado guy for the right girl he really likes.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Daphne, I think that men do fall in these 2 groups on most occasions. There are some real jerks out there who will not become avocados for anyone because they do not have manners and do not respect women in general.

    ReplyDelete
  8. She is the maleAndrewe, so I can see why he likes her..

    ReplyDelete
  9. Getting emotional to see where a guy stands is a horrible idea. If they are douche bags they pretend to listen and use it to manipulate you. Or! A girl may misinterpret this to mean that she should prematurely reveal personal aspects of her life. All others are great ideas, though. -Mary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's only a bad idea if you have weak boundaries.

      Delete
    2. I would venture to say a significant portion of the girls watching Amy's vids DO have weak boundaries and are working to strengthen them. It's safer for those girls to hold back and gauge a man's intentions using the other methods. -Mary

      Delete
  10. Hey Andrew, what is your opinion about Mathew Husseys dating advice videos? To be precise, i am reffering to his latest videos on youtube, the contents quality of which has been improved compared to his first videos.

    ReplyDelete
  11. No doubt she gives good advice, but I find her writing superficial. I enjoy very much reading and writing, but in order for me to continue reading a text, it has to be presented in such a way that is able to capture my interest and be able to keep it. Her writing isn't doing that. So even though her advice is accurate, I am not interested in reading it. One of the main reasons I love your blog (apart from the fact that you know what you are talking about) is your writing. I love it and if it was possible, for me, to read or hear what you have to say, every day, I would.

    ReplyDelete
  12. she's really pretty :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Andrew, in one of your posts you said that on the first date people should not talk about their problems or negative aspects of their life (for example, I hate my job or my parents are going through divorce etc). Amy is suggesting to get emotional, to talk about her personal problems...I don't think that it is a good idea.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Her advice isn't intended for first dates.

      Delete
  14. What do you think of her Texting Rules?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHYLN60rzaM

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A few small criticisms but overall, solid.

      Delete
  15. Her last video is absolutley lovely.

    It would be lovelier still if she had not ABSOLUTELY had a nose-job.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think so. In one video she talks (seemingly candidly) about how, growing up, her mom always told her she had a "ski slope nose." I think it's just like that.

      Delete
  16. Is this woman feminine? She has masculine energy and mannerisms it seems to me, but she is feminine in appearance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She definitely has a masculine energy...and that's why her advice is on point.

      A woman with perfected feminine energy would give the same advice but without a pragmatic angle. It would be staying 'open love' for the sheer shake of being love. Being love is its own reward regardless of how you're perceived by another.

      This is actually the task of all humanity...not just women...but it's very hard to practice.

      Delete
  17. There are tons of decent dating videos out there and her advice is soild but not groundbreaking and what I find the whole point of this blog post is Andrew let us into his personal tastes of women. As a seasoned woman I find her videos cloying and annoying yet its interesting to see a male's personal taste.

    BTW I'm a supporter of Andrew introduced him to one of my online communities about 3 years ago, I think. Haha, blew the minds of some women the rest became fans.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I am female. I found her videos entertaining (in particular, bananas vs avocados is funny one) and her advice is good. As for her personality, I find it overpowering. Any male who would like to be with her has to be even more powerful and domineering than she is. I think that men respect such women, but it is only because they are 'kind of afraid of them'. She definitely will not tolerate any crap from any man. I met women like her and some of them choose to marry weak men and to domineer in relationships, while others marry even more powerful men than they are.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I agree, there is something very "masculine" about her, and although she is extremely pretty, I don't think she is particularly attractive. Her personality is just too abrasive. I agree with Andrew that much of her advice is solid, but good lord...the texting "rules"? Yeah, just take a look at the comments section below her YouTube video and you'll see I'm not alone in my disdain for them. Also, I ran that same video past a few of my male friends and they all pretty much agreed that if a girl followed Amy's advice about texting, that they would think that she was either boring, a bitch, not interested in him, or playing a deliberate hard-to-get game, all of which are major turn-offs for men. So basically, follow her texting advice if you want a man to NOT pursue you.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hi Andrew, please could you do a post on outfits that are specifically suitable for college girls to wear to classes? I am struggling to find casual yet sexy outfits.

    ReplyDelete
  21. would you date her andrew?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was thinking the same thing but felt afraid to ask...

      Delete
    2. And he should NOT answer that question (because it would not be doing his readers a kindness)

      And you SHOULD both ask yourselves why you want to know. (and I guarantee you....the deeply honest answer to THAT 'why' question has something to do with how you feel about your own selves)....and those answers are the ones that must always come from ourselves alone

      Delete
  22. I love Amy!! I was just binge watching her videos (yet again) last night. I'm so happy you're giving her some spotlight, she deserves it!

    ReplyDelete
  23. I just watched Amy's video "so important it brought me to tears" and I must say I was surprised. In that video I saw a lovely side of her. A more feminine, human, nice and attractive side of her. So maybe all of her other videos (where she is not feminine and kind of weird) is a way of performing. I think we should give her some space (including myself), as she mentioned that she will be having more videos like that in the future. If she also changes her tone of writing, that would be great. I definitely like her a lot more like that and if I was a guy I would date her.

    ReplyDelete
  24. You absolutely have to check out Shallon Lester (youtube)
    She's better than this girl
    Then get back to me

    ReplyDelete
  25. Amy Young's livestream video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoByc7j7K7g) wasn't so bad. I was surprised by the multifaceted nature of how she presents herself. But at least in the livestream video, she appeared very mature and sincerely helpful. She even refrained from profanity, avoiding which is more befitting of a lady. I'm already engaged to my "avocado," so to speak, so much of her advice isn't applicable to me. Nonetheless, I liked that though her target audience is women who have made mistakes like she has, she still shows so much joy toward women who have not made such mistakes. That part of the video was beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Most of the advice given by women in general (including Amy) is wrong, misses the mark or is just not useful. The reality is this: attraction and desire is driven by biological evolution. A woman must learn what her primal instincts are prior to being able to recognize them in her conduct and correct the errors she usually and/or repeatedly makes (example: shopping for bananas vs avocados. It isn't true that girls are too lazy to find the avocados which IMO is an insult to women. Instead, the truth is women despise avocados).

    I would recommend EVERY woman study men's game theory and how men attract and seduce women. Men have perfected the art of seduction by taking advantage of the lack of knowledge women have about their own desires regarding the opposite sex to "game" them.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hi Andrew, long-time-lurker here:

    So much of your advice on appearance, phrasing, and the importance thereof is spot-on (as you know). It was, therefore, somewhat of a surprise and disappointment for me to come back to your blog after a long hiatus to see that you have begun to incorporate the colloquial use of 'gay' into your blogs.

    There are two more posters above me -- one who is unhappy about you using the term, another who has told the first to 'f that PC BS' -- who have mentioned it as well. Contrary to what the second poster has implied, I would encourage you to rethink the use of 'gay' (or the near-interchangeable 'retarded') not because of the offense they cause to those groups (though that's a good enough reason by itself), but because of the way in which it negatively reflects upon you, the speaker, and in turn weakens your message.

    Whether the use of 'gay' as an adjective was reflexive or calculated, it does you a disservice. You are an individual who is attempting to sell a product based on both image and content, and the message such lazy language sends cheapens your image. For me, it's analogous to taking dating advice from a single woman in a track suit with short hair: why should I trust her, when she appears to be either uneducated in the field in which she claims expertise, or else is practicing self-sabotage? Likewise, when a writer/blogger uses "gay" to mean anything but "homosexual", my gut instinct is to stop trusting their message. This is unfortunate, because your blog is one of the few red pill sites that treats women with all of the respect, positivity, and tough-love that they are due. It would be a shame for you to lose readers -- or potential book buyers -- over so small a thing.

    Thank you for all of the posts, and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.

    Respectfully,
    t

    ReplyDelete
  28. Andrew, why did you stop writing? I really-really-really miss your thoughts. Get back here, you harsh but truthful brilliant mind.

    ReplyDelete
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