Sunday, March 9, 2014

The Economics of Sex

A reader recently posted a link to a video that captures, in extremely clear terms, a phenomenon that has been implicit (and at times, explicit) in everything I write on this blog. It is a video that discusses sexual economics, and more importantly, their implications for dating and relationships. Here it is:


I cannot recommend this video highly enough. Especially for anyone encountering this blog or its ideas for the first time, it gives an important insight into one of the biggest differences between men and women in dating and relationships (I believe bigger ones exist, but this is a great starting point for discovering them). Even regular readers can benefit by watching this video, because it articulates clearly and concisely ideas that are well-worth solidifying in your mind; and hearing them in such clear and concise terms will do exactly that.


With that said, I do want to point out two minor disagreements I have with the video, though I only feel the need to do so because I agree so completely with the rest:

(a) I think the video focuses too much on the pill as the source of the disparity between supply and demand, rather than on certain philosophical undercurrents in Western society, or mans' access to pornography - both of which are at least as responsible (if not more so) for the phenomena the video describes.

(b) It suggests that "affirming desirability" is a sexual motivation for women, but not for men (1:28). This is simply untrue. Yes, men bang women because an orgasm feels better in a vagina than in their hand; but a big part of that "better feeling" is actually pride: it is either the satisfaction of the woman's affirmation, or the affirmation from their guy friends upon sharing the story with them. I do, however, agree with their point that women tend to be motivated by the intimacy of sex more than men; and as I've suggested before, I also think that feeling desired is a greater sexual motivation for women than it is for men.* So I don't think this criticism detracts from the video's larger point that men and women have different motivations for sex.

To give credit where credit is due, the video was made by the Austin Institute for The Study of Family and Culture. I don't know anything more about their organization than what they have written on their "About Us" page, but I also don't care. I am just glad someone made the video.

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* I don't think this is because women are more emotionally needy than men (as one might infer). I am convinced that it is because men are more desirous of carnal sexual pleasure. So as a woman, there is simply more sexual desire to be received.


Related Posts
1. The Analogy Between Sex and Commitment
2. Women Get to Play Out of Their League
3. Men and Sexual Variety
4. 5 Ways Men Misunderstand Women

46 comments:

  1. I was raised in the church where I was thoroughly indoctrinated to wait until marriage to have sex. Now that I am a woman I have found that abstinence over the age of 25 is unacceptable. Men won't wait around, they'll just dump the woman and move on. No guy wants a 30 something virgin. She has no value in the Western society's dating market. At the same time, women who don't hold out are the ones who end up with the husbands, the kids and the suburban picket fences, and become tithe payers in the church. It's ironic. That's why I decided to stop telling guys I'm a virgin, even if it's not until marriage. It just makes them leave. I guess my first time will just have to be painful and rough, but it's the price you pay for holding on to church doctrine too long.

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    1. "Abstinence over the age of 25 is unacceptable"

      Actually I've read statistics on sexual activity for my class, its not as rare as you think nor is it unacceptable. Don't forget, a great deal of women who lost their virginity regret it, probably more of them regretted than felt content with their choice. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin at 25. The problem is that our society made it such a negative thing, that most older virgins (who are normal, sexual, everyday women) keep it a secret while the only girls who are proud to be late virgins are typically the self-righteous and prude women who seem to be unfortunately representing the virgin population. That's why people assume all virgins must be uptight prudes, when its not true.

      "Men won't wait around, they'll just dump the woman and move on"

      Good! Let those guys leave! They didn't want you for you anyway!

      "No guy wants a 30 something virgin. She has no value in the Western society's dating market"

      Again untrue. If you are a woman who is not prude, squeamish, willing to have sex and try new things, a man (who cares about you) would most certainly take in the 30 something virgin.

      "At the same time, women who don't hold out are the ones who end up with the husbands, the kids and the suburban picket fences, and become tithe payers in the church."

      Those women's success had absolutely nothing to do with their previous sexual history. There are plenty of sexually active women who ended up happy and many who are struggling to find a husband. Remember, 95% of Americans have premarital sex. The odds are that you will find all kinds of success and failure stories among them and they have zero relation of whether they saved their virginity for marriage or not.

      I am not here to tell you to wait for marriage or not (I don't believe in that practice myself) however I do know that if you don't do what feels right in your gut, whatever that may be, you'll get hurt. If you still want to wait until marriage, find a devoted man of your religion at your church or anyone who shares similar beliefs. But if you don't want to wait until marriage, don't just lose it to anyone. I imagine the longer someone waits, the more of an impact sex will have on you vs someone who lost it at 15 or 16. And there are guys who will be okay with. Just be cautious of your approach. Telling a guy at a bar within 10 seconds: "Oh hey I'm a virgin!" may scare them off. But if you develop a close bond with a guy and reveal it, I'm sure he wouldn't care.

      I highly recommend reading Andrew's post 'What Men think of your Virginity'.

      P.S.
      I know lots of women who were virgins until well past 25 are ended up VERY happy :)

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    2. I agree with Shahrzad almost completely. Couldn't have said it better.

      I do think it is somewhat unnatural for a woman to be a virgin at 30, considering that a woman's body is past its sexual prime at that point, but at 25, I don't see much of a problem.

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    3. Thanks Andrew!

      I do want to add, it is definitely not common but it doesn't make you weird, a prude, etc etc. In fact! You have a great argument as to why you were a virgin so long-you can simply admit that up until recently, you felt you had to obey a religious duty that you no longer identify with. That is a perfectly normal reason and it can clear a guy's fear of you being prude, asexual, scared etc.

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    4. Hey Andrew, I have read that a woman's sexual prime is not until 40. Surprised to hear you say that.

      Shahrzad, I have dated guys for a couple of months and then told them I was a virgin. They went from being into me the day before to falling off the earth the next day. Trust me, they don't accept it.

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    5. Andrew kind of proved my point though. Maybe at 25 he accepts a virgin, but not at 30. It doesn't matter what her reasoning is. Guys think it's weird. They don't want to give her a chance. End of story.

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    6. Andrew also said he agreed my point, and he only said it is somewhat unnatural, if you simply explain your normal situation-I'm sure it'll be okay. There are people out there with the wackiest, oddest, most ridiculous quirks who find partners, your situation is unusual but not weird.

      Oh and I think you're mistaking sexual prime with sexual peak.

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    7. It is idealist for a woman to say that things will be ok, just explain your situation, without knowing how a guy really thinks and without having the experience of being dumped over and over for doing just that. This is the real world. Over a certain age, purity doesn't pay. That's the nasty truth. Virtue is something to step on in this society's dating market. I feel like I need to just hurry up and lose it to the first guy who comes along just to get let into the game, because other women have already run laps around me by the time they turn 22.

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    8. Whether he meant sexual prime or sexual peak, Ladies, please take a calming breath and realize he's wrong. I'm 35 and am realizing with each year just how much better sex can be as you grow up. I've been sexually active for twenty years now and I thought things between the sheets were really good at twenty, great at twenty-five, and simply amazing by thirty. It gets better every year.

      Maybe Andrew's desire for a woman peaks when that woman is twenty-five, but for me, a woman who has always been sexually confident, I know that experience, comfort, and know-how adds to my sexuality - both for me and my partner(s). I didn't peak in my twenties; I was only getting started.

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    9. By "sexual prime" I meant sexual prime in terms of attractiveness to men, not in teems of the quality of sexual experience. I have it on good word that sex gets a lot better with age.

      I was only making the point that it is unnatural (counter to how we've evolved) to still be a virgin after the time when your body is most likely to be wanted for sex. I didn't say it would turn men off, or that it was wrong.

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    10. I have a bit of an odd idea. Might be good, might be bad. Either way it's just a thought.

      It seems your sex drive is more than just a little low. I say this because there doesn't appear to be any excitement from you for sex. There are men out there that aren't really loved by women. Some are kind and have a good career. Some don't realize no woman could ever love them. I don't think you'll get anywhere trying to trick these guys into thinking you love them without sleeping with them. Some of these men know women don't love them but still want kids. What if you find one of these guys and level with him. Tell him you don't love him but want marriage and kids and promise never ever to divorce him. Prove your honesty to him. Tell him that your virginity is a part of why he should believe you are serious about real commitment and not a woman that has been sleeping with every cocky jerk you can find and now want a man who would be useful for children to discard when you are done with him. You still have a lot of value to that kind of man even without the sex. You can still offer him companionship, kisses, hugs, help raising children and if you're willing even cuddling. That's a damn good deal for one of the many guys women don't love but still want to marry and have kids.

      Just please, if you take my advice, try not to butcher him in the divorce courts after the kids are older and he has outlived his usefulness to you. I know you have little to no reason to butcher him in the divorce courts at that point, but commitment sometimes means sticking by someone even when you have no reason to.

      Convincing him you are serious and real commitment and not just marriage may be the hard part of this.

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  2. This video is on point. The only place I think it was wrong was saying that women worked together to keep the price of sex high. I don't think that was ever the case. Most people, even in a societal environment were cooperation is necessary, will make decisions in their best interest. Back in the day women could not have sex without the serious risk of unwanted pregnancy and irreperable damage to her marriage value. I don't believe there was this band of sisters, just women who (rightly) did not want to risk pregnancy and single motherhood.

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    1. Yeah I agree with that observation.

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  3. WOW! Play this again. Men rule in marriage. Now it's a matter of what is "perfect" for him.

    Or do whatever you want with whoever you want and not worry about the high probability of divorce proceedings.

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    1. divorce is a weapon held in the hands of women. idk what you mean by men rule in marriage. divorce laws are one of the biggest things contributing to "commitment issues" for men.

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    2. whoever earns more money becomes the victim. That's central planning, for ya.

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  4. This video confirms what I've been thinking for the last 5 years or so, which I find disheartening to say the least. I also, like Andrew, believe there are a myriad of reasons for the decline of marriage that I wish this video would have touched on more. After watching, I felt like I was left with a problem but no solution, which has even further made me wonder at my age (30) will I ever get married? or if I do will it be to someone who is 3 on a scale of 1-10? I'm not perfect by any means, but I at least want there to be some sort of physical attraction. But even by continually re-evaluating how I look, and eating healthy etc. I almost feel like this wouldn't matter in finding a man who wants marriage and is attractive to me (inside &out) because in reality, really attractive guys, like the video said, don't necessarily need to get married.

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  5. about the video - I agree, the core message of it is quite clear. still, it disregards a few points.

    there's no mention of divorce laws of which men are wary, the modern ways of dating (internet) that are conducive to people objectifying each other, the single mum "no dad" culture, and (probably) the main culprit - the fact that a society largely based on individualism and freedom falters at some of its more traditional staples. cause and effect.

    "societies can only tolerate one change at a time" - SO many things in many different areas of life have changed in a 30 odd year span.

    no wonder people find it tricky to adjust?

    @ Emily L about your question on what would the world be like... I have to retort, EVEN if men did that, why would they?

    what benefits, individually and socially-wise, would outweigh the benefits of sex enough for men to abstain from it willingly, when women are, on the whole, accepting of casual sex?

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    1. @Digra-i agree that men have no reason to change, maybe other than self-respect, an STD or two? But I don't think the way these men do! If men thought the way I did, what a glorious place the world would be, for me lol

      I was hoping to get some meaningful answers to questions rather than seem controversial, but based on the responses, it seems like the sad reality is what it is!

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    2. @Emily,
      I think your questions are reasonable and I can see what you're driving at. You (and other female commenters) are just considering different ways how one might change the dynamics of the curious dating market to make it a "glorious world" for you (lol btw). That's fair enough - as are our rebuttals I think.

      I'm curious about your comment that men might change due to "self-respect" (I can accept that one or two STDs might prove motivation enough to change one's behavior). If a guy's goal is sex and he attains that, does that not improve his self-respect? How does having the sex he wanted lower his self-respect?

      I'm also curious that you perceive today's reality as a "sad reality". Is the fact that men and women are so different - with such different drives, motivations and goals - not what makes the dating game so interesting, challenging and ultimately fulfilling? Where would the excitement be if we all thought the same way?

      I don't mean to seem controversial either - I just enjoy reading and writing these comments.

      The conclusion I came to years ago was that I can't change the way women behave or think to what I want them to. All I can do is get really, really good at reading women and differentiating between different types of women to get what I want. Conversely that's all women can do too - you just have to be able to read guys, and find the guys who want what you want. Hoping for men to change is a futile endeavor unfortunately.

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  6. Before I met my fiance, I would read and watch things like this and become very nervous. It seemed like I had no chance of meeting a man I could love and respect - and that even if I did, there was no chance he'd actually love and respect me!

    Thankfully, I eventually realized that I had to take theories like this and compare them to my own experience. Oftentimes, the theory wouldn't hold in real life. For instance, I did online dating for a while and while I met a few guys who were clearly just looking for sex, the majority (say, 75 to 80 percent) were looking for love. Now of course, I had screened for these guys by saying that I was looking for love, and by not considering men who messaged me unkind, rude, or arrogant content. But the fact was, they were looking for a woman to share their life with - and they were having trouble finding her!

    Whether a man or a woman, if you intend to marry for love, you instantly shrink your pool of prospects by more than if you were filtering for just beauty, just money, or just personality. Heck, you shrink it by more than if you were filtering for all three combined! The good news is that you don't need a large pool of men - just one :)

    This video is entitled "The Economics of Sex." If you want to marry for love, such a theory is interesting for informing your paradigm, but it should replace your current paradigm. "The Economics of Love" would be a much more useful video for you, though of course, love is not negotiable.

    In other words, take heart: literally billions of women throughout history have managed to marry a man they love. It can be done!

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    1. I don't think the video is saying that men don't want to find love eventually.

      The problem is that men are willing to use many women for sex and break their hearts in the process whilst they search for 'the one' or just get bored of playing the field. Women need to look out for themselves, because men sure wont.

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    2. Ash, thanks for your kind words. From a rational perspective, this video and Andrew's writing makes sense to me. But seeing your comment revived hope in me that I don't have to be a Barbie doll well into my fifties so that my husband won't end up divorcing me. Your comment gave me hope again lol

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    3. Daphne - I guess what I'm trying to say is that falling into a "women verses men" mentality is a recipe for unhappiness. It sets up a zero-sum competition, which doesn't leave much room for love. It is always up to you to make sure you're not being used or hurt. But this is also true in non-romantic same-gender friendships!

      I am also pointing out the numerous exceptions to the idea that men have hundreds of women lining up to commit while women have hundreds of men lining up for sex. Plenty of men are lonely and plenty of women are not sexually active when they wish they were - this is because character, intelligence, and value systems affect our choices, which in turn affect the "economics" of sex and commitment. Many single men (possibly Andrew included?) open to love are thus far unsuccessful - and many single women are in the same predicament.

      MedStudent26 - I'm glad! A man of high character will not leave you just because you turn fifty. If we let ideas like that get into our heads, how could we ever open up and love?

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    4. PS - I'm not arguing with the point of the video. I'm just trying to add a little balance to the women/men like me who used to read this kind of thing and despair. And I also think the pictures of the short-term and long-term markets are oversimplified :)

      Also, Andrew! I hope I didn't offend you when I speculated that you hadn't yet found love. It's just that I remember you mentioning in a comment a year or more back that you hadn't been in love yet, and your old tagline mentioned that you were shifting towards looking for commitment now that you've reached your late twenties. I have benefited a lot from your advice, and earnestly wish you happiness :)

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  7. *it should NOT replace your current paradigm. Oops!

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  8. Just to give a little context to the birth control aspect of the vid: The Austin Institute is spear-headed by Mark Regnerus who claims that "Gay Parents are Evil." http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2012/07/27/596251/gay-parenting-bullshit/# He was quite thoroughly debunked.

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    1. Eh... hard to get too worked up about the context. Fucked up people can be right about things too.

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    2. I'm also mildly wary of the fact that your source is ThinkProgress, the blog of the Center for American Progress (a very liberal think tank that would oppose the sort of family-values conservatism of the Austin Institute).

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  9. I came across a movie on Netflix recently called "TiMER" - romcom/fantasy, people could get an arm implant that tells them how many days/hours/min left till they meet "The One", and when they meet their One, an alarm goes off. This wasn't specifically brought up (though it did play a role), but I noticed that all of the female characters had them and only about half the men did.

    I thought about it and decided I wouldn't have gotten one. Check it out - am curious to know others' reactions to the movie.

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    1. Juliet, uhm...I have to agree with you that I would not get the arm implant. With today's technology and identity theft, does the movie address what could happen if the info from someone's hand patch were stolen or became corrupt from rubbing against certain electromagnetic fields? Would that cause the alarm to go off at the wrong time? Perhaps suggestion for the sequel.

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  10. Wow. That video is full of conservative American family values.

    Making women’s history so glossy should raise everyone’s eyebrows. In recent years I have come to learn that in fact, my older female relatives (aged between 70 and 85) were just as sexually curious, desirous and looking for hookups as young people are today. The difference was that yes, they did not have birth control, and when pregnancy happened, they had to get married. Both of my grandmothers, several of my aunts and my mother were all FORCED into shotgun marriages after unprotected sex. It wasn’t a choice. Everyone in the 50’s and 60’s holding out for sex until after they got married is a bit of a myth, people!! Just like today, they knew they weren’t in love with these men but hey, sexual actionay feels good, doesn’t it!? These women weren’t thinking ‘is he forever’, they were thinking about the now, just like people do now. Then eventually they got pregnant and had to carry through with marriages to avoid family and personal shame. These marriages were societal obligations. Most of these women were very vocal after their husbands died that they had wasted their lives and resented the marriage pressures — imagine living your shame for 60+ years like that. So hey ladies, be grateful you live in today’s world!

    So I seriously object to the video’s suggestion that earlier marriage rates were the wonderful, successful result of women getting what they wanted, and the woman’s choice… that was definitely not necessarily so, and if you don’t believe me, perhaps you need to start having honest conversations with your grandmothers.

    And finally think the suggestion that women need to club together and raise their value so men pay more… I don’t think that would work at ALL. As Andrew said, porn is just super easy, free and effective. Unless there is crossover in what men and women want out of relationships (i.e. unless the man wants intimacy), men will (arguably smartly) continue to KISS (keep it simple stupid). Why get into something more expensive and more emotionally complicated if you don’t want it or need it? It’s like refitting your entire kitchen when all you actually need is a microwave. Look at what’s happening in Japan — people are either looking to porn or casual hookups and eliminating the complications and costs of relationships.

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    1. I agree and disagree. I agree that shame caused our grandparents to hide their promiscuity to some degree. But that shame it wasn't something imposed by the church or government on a whim; it was something that society collectively believed was appropriate.

      Social stigmas aren't created by individuals or authorities. Even when authorities try to create them (as the Nazis did with the Jews, for example), they are only accepted by the people if the people are receptive to them. The US government, for example, could try all it wants to convince the American people that you are morally depraved if you eat tomatoes, but it isn't going to catch on. It might be able to convince the people that you are morally depraved if you are a transsexual, but only because a lot of people already believe that.

      Anyway, the point is that our grandparents genuinely believed that sex outside of marriage was less acceptable than we believe it is today. And it would be ridiculous to pretend that this kind of belief didn't motivate people to have sex less frequently outside of marriage. (Be careful of projection; your grandmother might have slept around as much as you do, but that doesn't mean all grandmothers did.)

      You can do the same exercise with gender roles. Our grandparents weren't adhering to them just for the hell of it; they did so because they believed collectively that it was more appropriate for men to behave in one way, and women in another. And you can repeat it again with the way they approached dating, or anything else.

      The video doesn't say that marriage rates were wonderful, or that everything was perfect before. It just points out that marriage rates have declined, and points out that this makes perfect sense in light of the fact that men don't have to "pay" as much for sex anymore.

      I agree that the suggestion that women can somehow restore the price of sex by banding together is ridiculous; but it also is somewhat beside the point, which is that looking at sexual economics tells you a lot about how men and women behave in relationships - i.e. differently.

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  11. What's with this trend of someone drawing words and sketches throughout the entire video? It's getting really overdone now.

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  12. I live in the UK and met a guy at a party a couple weeks ago. He tried really hard to sleep with me but I didn't, because I really want something meaningful with someone who deserves me. This guy is good looking, in a semi-famous band, and definitely gets a lot of girls. He added me on Facebook and for the past 2 weeks he has been talking to me. A couple days ago, I told him that I am looking for something meaningful. He told me he's practically a divorcee, and that he's "out of the picture" then. I agreed and thanked him for being honest with his intentions. He then said that he doesn't think he "has the agency to even form intentions right now" and that anytime I wanted to share a glass of wine and have him talk nonsense to me, he would be up for it. i didn't respond to that. i have not initiated any conversations with him at all, ever. he is the one who always does, but they take a sexual turn or have sexual elements and so I ignore him until he talks to me about something I'm interested in. Tonight, when he started talking to me, I told him again that I am not looking for sex and he that maybe he just likes talking to me. I am so confused. Is he trying all possible methods of sleeping with me (because I feel like he never meets with resistance) or does he maybe want to get to know me? I act very "take it or leave it" with him, because I honestly feel that way about it and am just trying to filter to find a good guy who wants to get to know me.

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    1. @ Rebecca

      looks like he's waiting for you to lose your restraint, if he's got other options he won't mind playing the waiting game with you. maybe after a little vino, who knows.. all bets are off!

      your filter is not working properly - you say that you're not interested in casual sex, but when you're hanging on for someone who is, that says something.

      are you trying to make him change? mind how you go about it.

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  13. Hi Andrew! Question for you: I wear a c cup bra, and am shopping for swimwear (probably a 2 piecer that I can use for swimming in the pool at my gym). I'm neither ultra skinny nor fat, and wanted to know whether you had any recommendations on flattering swimwear options. Two-piece beachwear i think is easier, but I also don't like one piecers in general. I'm having a hard time deciding between the options I'm considering. Merci!

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  14. the video doesn't explain that divorce laws are a huge threat for men these days, since divorce rates are 50% in most western countries marrying is esentially a 50% of risking your financial security and barely seeing your own children. Don't you think that should also account for why men are less interested in marriage? It certainly does count to me. I want to have kids but have to take into account that in the likely case of a divorce I don't want my finances compromised and lose access to my own children. So the woman will have a tougher time convincing me to committ to that.

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    1. I think men are generally dumber than you so they marry anyways. The numbers seem to back that up. Our marriage rate is alarmingly high (80%) and that's a problem that doesn't look to be solved any time soon.

      I'm curious, what do you think about the advice I gave to Judy Marshall? It's a bad of an odd idea, I know. Just something that I think might be interesting.

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  15. Judy Marshall, you are discussing a significant experience in your life as casually as an experiment in coloring your hair for the first time! In your mid-twenties are you are reconsidering if you want to continue your path in life as a religiously motivated person? If you are now contemplating more choices in your sexual behavior, the first thing to do is seek out excellent information about avoiding diseases and pregnancy. This means discussing birth control/condoms and the like with somebody you are dating as you both become increasingly committed and intimate.

    It would be nightmarish for you to deceive a man into thinking you are approaching a sexual event which has no particular significance to you only to discover you are actually experiencing something you find "painful and rough". If you were thinking you would simply not mention your virginity and he not even take any notice of how you are feeling, I want to point out having pre-marital relations does not mean you demand no commitment, no romance, no honesty. It's even more important to know how to tell if a man you have met is a decent trustworthy guy who cares about you.

    If this new policy of abandoning your identity as a virgin means you are feeling discouraged from following the rules you were taught in childhood because you think your code of personal ethics is now outdated, consult with your family and religious teachers about how to find the type of man you were taught to choose as your partner in life. The most personal choices in your life should not be determined by what random strangers in the Western dating market might say about your supposed value.

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    1. When you get advice/information about birth control, I'd suggest consulting someone with knowledge about math/science rather than a religious leader. When it comes to actual information about birth control, you're probably going to want actual facts rather than religious dogma. If you like religious dogma you could then go to a preacher to get that, but generally when you're looking for scientifically accurate information you're better off consulting someone who is scientifically literate.

      Someone who thinks the universe was made in 6 days is probably not your best bet for scientific accuracy. Just sayin'.

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  16. Hi Andrew, the video was interesting. Thank You for sharing it.

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  17. A girl`s sexual value decreases dramatically after early twenties. This is a fact, it is accepted everywhere by anyone whose ego is not hurt by it

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  18. If we were to graph it correctly, a womans exual attractiveness shoots up to 100 in the flush of nubile beauty and stays there til her late teens when it drops off . By 25 it’s down around the 30 percent mark; by 30 it’s down around the 20 mark; by 35, around 15.

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    1. And so at about 30 it's a great time to take a beta male to alter for use as a husband and then later to the divorce courts for butchering once she's done using him. This is the way things work, and if you're a man marrying (especially a beta male and if you don't know what you are, you're a beta male) this is what you get. At one point I felt this was awful, but the more I think about it, the more I figure if you're this dumb, you probably shouldn't expect anything better in life. It's kinda like the guy who blows his own brains out by looking town the barrel of a loaded gun and pulling the trigger to see if it's loaded or not. Sure, it's sad that he died, but I can't feel to bad about it just given the sheer amount of stupid demonstrated by doing that with a fire arm. The guy who marries is even dumber than the guy with the fire arm.

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  19. Women want sex with alpha males and to be provided for by beta males. Thus, when women are young they go for the 20% of men that are alpha males because they genuinely love them and want them. Then when they get older and start looking for marriage, they want a beta male provider. Those are easier to control and more useful as a husband. Thus, they snatch up truly stupid beta males that actually believe their wife cares about them. The beta males that have a brain don't marry and just move on going MGTOW or PUA (becoming an alpha if they can). Since the majority of men are stupid, the majority will marry no matter what so the marriage rate (percentage of people who marry) is still through the roof (80%). This is definitely a problem and it would be nice if the marriage rate was more like about 20%, but hey, if men are stupid enough to marry they can't expect anything better than the beating they get when they do marry. Oh well.

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