A couple years ago I dated a beautiful, very sweet girl who lived in the suburbs with her parents, about 45 minutes outside the city. She commuted to her job at the local hospital by car, everyday, alone. Her coworkers were either middle-aged (and married) or older. Her family had moved around a lot when she was growing up, so she didn't have a social circle from her childhood. She rarely went out, struggled to make friends, and was generally unhappy. Last I heard she was in-and-out of a relationship with a guy that her mother hated and she was unenthusiastic about at best; but she stayed with him - I assume for lack of other options. This girl was an 8 out of ten in most guys' books, and a 9 or 10 in others'. She was smart, gentle, had an amazing smile and loved to dress up and go out (I always wished I liked her more, but ultimately we didn't click and I had to let her go). It was depressing to see her suffocated by her living and working situation. I always urged her to move away from her parents and into the city, where she could work at a younger hospital, socialize, meet guys, make friends, go out, and generally thrive. But she was too scared to move. She didn't feel comfortable leaving what she knew so well after so long.
Especially if you aren't the most outgoing person in the world, your work and living situation can dramatically improve your social life - or cripple it. And your social live, in turn, determines how frequently you meet new men. The frequency with which you meet new men not only gives you opportunities for meeting one you like, but it also gives you opportunities to practice interacting with men and to learn from your mistakes. I don't think it is a huge stretch to say that your choice of job and living location can play heavily into your success in the dating world.
You might question how simply moving to another location or job will improve your social life - and you'd be right that some additional effort is needed. But the sheer proximity to restaurants, other people, nightlife, museums, parks, stores, etc. - all of this facilitates social interaction. For example, if you live near a gym (which is very likely if you live in the city) you are more likely to meet people when you work out - at a spin class, or even while you are checking in. If you live near a park, you are more likely to run or walk there, and maybe join the sports leagues you see playing there on weeknights. If you live near nightlife, you can invite your coworkers out and give them a place to crash afterwards (this will create memories and develop friendships). All of this can help - in small or big ways - to expand your social circle. It isn't just about crossing paths with men; it's about living where more people are and where more things are happening, it's about exposing yourself to opportunities. In a sense, choosing where you live and work is the most fundamental way of making yourself approachable - a critical part of female game.
Of course you shouldn't completely neglect the financial or professional side of this decision; but does it really make sense to choose how to spend the majority of your waking hours without regard to who you will spend them with, or where they allow you to spend your free time? Does it really make sense to sacrifice opportunities to make friends and meet men, just for a small boost in your career?
- If your job actively prevents you from interacting with people you could make friends with, quit. Your professional life is almost definitely not as important as your social life.
- If live in the suburbs, move to the city. You can find cheap place in any city. If it isn't as nice, get used to it. If you increase your commute 45 minutes a day, suck it up. Spend the time listening to books on tape or talking on the phone.
- If you spend an hour a day on your laptop at home rather than in a coffee shop or some other public place because none are convenient to you - force yourself out of the house.
- If you commute by car when you could take public transportation, consider switching.
- If you pass up opportunities to go out to bars or nightclubs, or to hang out with coworkers because it is a pain to drive into the city - move closer.
- If you don't go out to restaurants occasionally with your friends because you all live in different suburbs and nothing is local to you, move.
1. Learn How to Be Social
2. You Are Responsible for Your Own Romantic Happiness
3. Bars Are a Good Place to Meet Guys: Part 1