The Problem with Denim and Leather

Several years ago, I got into a discussion about women's clothes with my girlfriend at the time and her friend. The friend mentioned that she had "kind of started to hate polo shirts on girls." I was a bit surprised, so I asked what was motivating her hatred. She replied that they were "just too masculine."

I found that interesting. I'd never even noticed polo shirts as being particularly attractive or unattractive, let alone masculine or feminine; but I could see where she was coming from. After all, some clothes (dresses for example) are more feminine, so it made sense that other types could be more masculine. From that point on, I started paying more attention to how sex-appropriate various types of clothes seemed.

Years later I started reading a website called Masculine Style, which does a great job of teaching men how to dress well. The author explains that the history and evolution of certain clothes is what makes them have the visual effect that they do, making them work (or not) for different men in different situations.

He explains, for example, that heavier knit sweaters are far more rugged and masculine-looking than a thin cashmere cardigan because they were designed for and traditionally used by dock workers and fishermen. Similarly, boat shoes were designed with soles that were soft enough to prevent scratching the decks of yachts, and therefore still hint at wealth and luxury in spite of their casualness. Sturdier materials like denim and leather have histories rooted in farming and manual labor, and so they carry connotations of their industrial origins – which brings me to my point…

For a couple years now, I've realized that I don't like when girls wear denim or leather. If the girl is good-looking, I will still be somewhat sexually attracted to her, but both the magnitude and type of attraction is significantly different than it would be if the same girl were dressed in lighter, softer materials. And following the train of thought that was inspired by my ex-girlfriend's friend and what I read on Masculine Style, I've started to wonder if my distaste is due to denim and leather being inherently unfeminine materials.

I mean think about it: denim and leather are rough, sturdy materials made to withstand the abuse of hard labor. They were made to protect rugged men doing rugged work. In the same way that we project onto guys who wear heavy-knit sweaters the masculinity of dock workers, it makes sense that we project onto women the connotations of wearing laborer's clothes – whether we do so consciously or unconsciously. And doing so casts a shadow over a woman's femininity. Asking a woman to look attractive in a biker jacket is kind of like asking a man to look attractive in lace.

Now, I realize that anytime you say (or even suggest) that something might be "objectively" masculine or feminine, people get defensive. If there is a scale along which masculinity or femininity can be quantified, people invariably start worrying about where along it they'll be placed. They are afraid of being judged.* But I am going to assume that my readers have learned to be comfortable with themselves, and throw the idea out there anyway – not so much because I am completely convinced by it as to field your opinions. So here is the concept:

Denim and leather (and perhaps other materials besides) are objectively masculine, at least to the same extent that materials like satin or lace are feminine. The current popularity of leather and denim in female fashion is a trend, piggybacked on the popularity of feminism, and it does not reflect the objective attractiveness of the materials themselves. While women can often look attractive in denim or leather, they do so in spite of the materials, not because of them.

Nope. Really.

I've been testing the idea recently by mentally separating the factors of my attraction each time I see a hot girl wearing one of these materials. Certainly when I think about a woman wearing any piece of clothing in either denim or leather, I can always imagine her being sexier in something less rugged. I've never liked jean or leather skirts on girls; and although it is much harder to look objectively at jean pants (because they are so entrenched in current fashion), I find normal cotton way more attractive.

When I suggest to my male friends that leather and denim are unattractive on women – which I've done several times – I rarely get an enthusiastic chorus of agreement. I get, "Yeah I guess I can sort of see what you mean" or "No, man, I love a girl in a jean skirt." But I am pretty sure that these statements ultimately boil down to "I am not observant enough to figure out what turns me on about a woman's wardrobe" and "I love a girl in a skirt."

Again, this isn't a statement about what women should or shouldn't wear (they're your clothes, do whatever the you want), it is merely a statement intended to spark thought about whether your choice of clothes is an authentic expression of your personal taste or the voice of popular culture.

Oh and just for the record, I am OK with polo shirts on girls.

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*In this sense, modern Western culture (at least when it comes to gender) is like a school system without testing. Everyone is just kind of learning at their own rate without an objective measurement of anyone's performance. You can imagine how outraged people in such a system would be the first time you were to suggest that there will periodically be these things called “exams” by which students' comprehension will be evaluated. There would be huge resistance. But testing in schools isn't the end of the world. Yeah, there is pressure to perform to a certain level, and the students that do poorly have to acknowledge the fact that they aren't as “smart” as the other students. But it introduces a degree of accountability that cannot otherwise be motivated, and the school system is better off for it.


Related Posts
1. "Because of" Versus "In Spite Of"
2. Don't Wear Sneakers
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4. There Is Nothing Modest About Loose Jeans
5. Be Careful About Wearing Large-Shouldered Tops
6. Where Is Feminism Taking Us?

Ugly Girls Don’t Exist

Every once in a while I get e-mails from girls who have clearly resigned themselves to a life of lovelessness because they think they are ugly. This post is for them.

I used to feel sorry for ugly girls. When you're a young guy who still feels completely in awe of beautiful women, it's easy to fall into thinking that the girls who don’t have a visual effect on you are incapable of enjoying the dating world. Female good looks were overwhelming to me at the time, so the girls without them mustn't have been able to get guys – or so my 22-year-old logic went, anyway.

This reasoning sustained some damage when I finally went out with some hot girls. Doing so made me realize that what my mom had been telling me for years was actually true: a girl's looks aren't everything. But this actually wasn't what put an end to my pity. That didn’t happen until I realized that, when you frame the situation correctly, there actually isn’t anyone to pity. Let me explain...

It's common knowledge that physical beauty in women consists mainly of signs of health, youth, and fertility. Wide hips are attractive because they are conducive to childbearing. Long, full, smooth hair is sexy because it shows that a woman has all the nutrients she needs to grow it. Big breasts are attractive because they emphasize a woman’s ability to feed her child. Tight skin and big eyes are attractive because they make a woman look young and therefore more capable of bearing healthy children.

This state of affairs isn’t a coincidence. It exists because, throughout human history, the men who happened to be attracted to signs of health, youth, and fertility were more likely to fuck healthy, young, and fertile women, and they were therefore more likely to pass on their fertility-attracted genetics to future generations. The dudes who happened to be attracted to some other set of traits in females ended up having sex with less-fertile women, and their genetics were never passed on – or at least, they were passed on less and less until they died out completely. Likewise, the infertile women (in other words, the unattractive women) – or the women attracted to impotent men – also failed to reproduce, and their genes were similarly drained from the gene pool.

Most of you have probably heard all of this before. What is interesting here isn’t so much the evolutionary narrative, it’s the corresponding implication: because the weakest and least-attractive genes died out long ago, and the strongest, healthiest, most attractive ones have persisted, the human race is getting perpetually more attractive.

Of course, you don't need the spiel on natural selection to realize this; just look at what we used to look like:

A Neanderthal Woman and Modern Woman
(Image from National Geographic)

Yes, that’s right, I am comparing you to cave women. But it is a legitimate comparison because it makes an important point: if you exist on the earth today, it is only because men, collectively, throughout human history, wanted to fuck you. The ones who didn’t died off millions of years ago, along with all of the “ugly” genes in both sexes. Everyone left is sexy.

It’s like the whole human race has been using Tinder for millions of years, and now we’re living in a world populated only by our matches. Except it’s even better because our matches didn’t just swipe us right because they were bored on the way to work; they actually voted for us by banging our ancestors – there’s no ambiguity about what they wanted. And sure, maybe you like some of your matches more than the others, and maybe some of your matches like others more than you; but there is no getting around the fact that your sexual attractiveness (or potential for it) was a prerequisite for your existence in the gene pool.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that you are attractive just the way you are. It may well be that you need to lose some serious weight and learn how to dress well in order to make men realize that they want to bang you. But that is a good thing, because it means that you can lose some serious weight and learn how to dress well and men will realize that they want to bang you.

And of course, there will always be “least hot,” “hotter” and “hottest.” Our minds have evolved to care about that, but the interesting thing is that men’s penises have not. I’ve talked about this with many guy friends many times, and we all agree that, when we are horny, we are willing to fuck about 50 % of women under the age of 60. And this considers even the women who don’t make an effort – imagine how high that number would be if everyone did.

Neither am I saying that every woman has an inherent capability to lock down a top-shelf dude. There are a lot of things other than looks that matter in dating and relationships, and there is a lot more to life than getting sexual attention from men. But what I am saying is that every woman who thinks she’s “just ugly” or somehow “unfuckable” is flat-out wrong. You are on this earth today because you have the ability to give men a boner. End of story.

This is a pretty important point – important enough that I made it in one of my earliest posts a few years ago. I drew the conclusion then that no girl needs to be below a 5 on the 10-point scale. And I stand by that. To borrow from what I said there:

...the time and effort you put into your appearance will produce results. Do not worry if your gut tells you otherwise; your gut is informed by beauty pageants and "100 Hottest Women" lists, and a thousand other influences that both reinforce and reflect the notion that beauty is a matter of winning the genetic gene pool - i.e. a matter of 'haves' vs. 'have-nots.' This notion is bullshit...no girl needs to be less than a five on the ten scale...If you present yourself well and get in great shape, you will be above average. And for those of you that are naturally about average, the sky's your limit.

I realize this message probably doesn’t apply to most of my readers. If you are reading websites like this, you haven’t given up hope. You know or at least suspect that there are things you can do to improve the quality and quantity of attention you get from men. So this message isn’t necessarily for you. But you probably know other girls who have given up. Maybe you have a friend who thinks she’s inherently unattractive or that she’s destined to be single her whole life because men don't want to fuck her.

The next time that conversation comes up with her (or even if it doesn’t), remind her of what I've said here. Remind her that hope should never be lost. Better yet, remind her that hope should never be necessary. You don't need hope when you're a winner in the genetic Olympics; you just need motivation. And a damn good way for her to get motivated is to recognize the truth: that with a little effort, being sexually attractive is well within her reach.


Related Posts
1. Feminine Beauty Is Highly Controllable
2. You Can Control How Attractive You Are
3. Should You Focus on Your Looks or Personality More?

Your Hand Can't Hide Your Ass

There's one thing some girls do that never fails to make me laugh. When they walk by a group of guys and suspect that the guys will check out her ass, they try to subtly drape their hand across their butt in an attempt to shield it from the guys' view. This is always funny because (a) it's never subtle and (b) it is absolutely ineffective. Although some girls might only be trying to "disrupt" the guys' view, rather than block it completely, it simply doesn't work. Whatever curve (or lack thereof) you might be successful in hiding on one side of your ass can just as easily be seen on the other. You'd have better luck trying to shade yourself from the sun with a broomstick.

But, as you might have guessed, I am not writing this just to remind your of your body proportions. No, there is something more important going on, and the attempt to hide your ass is just the symptom. By hiding your ass, you are either expressing insecurity about your body, or else you are showing your lack of comfort with male sexuality.

If you are trying to hide your ass because you don't like the way it looks, you are essentially saying "I am discontent with my body, so I am going to try to hide it." And I get that no one is completely content with their body; it's the hiding it part that is the problem. The alternative, of course, is to say "I am discontent with the way my ass looks, so I am going to do something to change it." By draping your hand across your butt, you are being dishonest rather than proactive. You are doing the same thing as the guy who, when asked by a girl what he does, tells her he "has his own company," when the truth is that he works at his dad's gas station for 50 hours a week and is making a weak-at-best attempt to start a website selling graphic t-shirts on the side. In the same way that he needs to start admitting what he really does with 95% of his time (and then doing something to change it if that makes him uncomfortable), you need to let men look at your ass for what it is, and then use the resulting discomfort as motivation for squats, lunges or dieting.

Granted, the guy who checks you out from behind probably isn't being completely honest either. If he were, he wouldn't wait until you passed to "steal" a look at your ass; he would do it while you are watching. Of course there is the practical consideration that a girl's ass can only be seen from behind, but this doesn't change the fact that most men are too scared or ashamed to express their sexual interest in a girl directly. Those guys probably liked your face or chest more than your ass, but checking those out would have required eye contact and revealing that they like you, which of course requires facing rejection. Anyway, just because most men are insincere in looking doesn't excuse you for being insincere in hiding. I am only saying so to point out that this isn't a gender-specific problem. 

Now, if, on the other hand, you are attempting to hide your ass in spite of being perfectly comfortable with the way it looks, there is only one explanation: you don't feel comfortable with male sexual desire. This might be because of its intensity, or because you don't really understand it* (perhaps because you have no experience with it), or it might be because your sister or friend is on the receiving end of it far more than you. Whatever the case, it makes you uneasy.

You might attempt to defend this uneasiness by saying that you "don't like being treated like a piece of meat," but this is just an example of clever semantics putting a negative spin on a phenomenon that is so natural that you couldn't - or more accurately, wouldn't - exist without it. Straight men who are unmotivated by an attractive female body are about as common as women who are unmotivated by the idea of commitment. Good luck finding them. You either need to get used to that idea, or get used to the idea of being single, because if you can't feel comfortable with the fact that a man feels sexually attracted to the curves of your body, you can't feel comfortable with men.

Let me be clear here: I am not trying to defend men who only care about a woman's looks (who, by the way don't exist - but this is the topic for another post), and I am not trying to defend rude or crass expressions of male physical desire, like cat-calling or groping. But I am trying to point out that it isn't normal or healthy for women to walk around constantly worried about whether or not men are looking at their asses. And it certainly isn't normal to awkwardly pretend that your limbs happen to be in conveniently "concealing" locations when they have no natural business being there.

So if you are one of the girls doing this, realize that men know what you are trying to do and it doesn't work. And if you want to dig a little deeper, recognize it as a sign of a psychological kink that you need to work on.

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*Many men have a similar discomfort with the reciprocal, which is female emotional desire.

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Fat Women Look Hotter in Tight Clothes

I hear the following conversation regularly:

Guy 1: “Man, check out that girl in the yoga pants [or any tight article of clothing] over there.”
Guy 2: “Damn, she is hot. I love when girls wear yoga pants.”
Guy 1: “Yeah, me too… except fat girls, that is just disgusting.”
Guy 2: “Haha well yeah, not fat girls. That is just gross. They shouldn't be allowed to wear stuff like that.”

This line of thinking always bothers me. The implication is that, while tight clothes make fit women look more attractive, they make fat women look less attractive, and should therefore be avoided by any woman that is overweight. But this simply isn't true. Fat women, though unattractive, still look more attractive in tight clothes than they do in loose ones.

I know a lot of readers will initially disagree – men included. There was a time when I disagreed myself. In fact, I used to participate in the very kinds of conversation I am criticizing. But eventually I started paying attention to fat women rather than just dismissing them, and in doing so I realized that what we were saying wasn't true at all. What happened was that, on a few occasions when out with female friends or acquaintances, they started criticizing heavy-set girls for wearing tight clothes. They said things like “She shouldn't be wearing that, look at her stomach!” or "That girl needs to go home and lose 20 lbs before getting in a swimsuit like that!" But when I looked at the same girls they were criticizing, I found myself attracted to them, precisely because of their tight clothes. I had enough imagination to recognize that the very same girls in loose clothes would do absolutely nothing for me; but in a tight dress or yoga pants, I was checking them out.

Look, here is the thing: the female figure has evolved to be attractive to men, and it shines most when its natural curves can be seen. This holds true even when those natural curves are covered in fat; which makes sense, because (except in severe cases of obesity), the woman's proportions still exist. Loose clothes only serve to mask a woman’s figure. When a fat woman wears loose clothes, it makes her look like a mass of floating fabric. You not only still know that she is fat, but you also forget that she is a woman. True, a tight dress might show that a woman has a gut, but loose clothes don't hide it - they just hide her femininity.

Granted, there is probably a way in which an overweight woman can choose clothes very carefully in order to play down her weight while playing up her curves; but these clothes won't necessarily be loose. Anyway it is somewhat beside the point, which is that, on the whole, tight clothes still make fat women hotter, even if they don’t make fat women hot. You might be able to argue that fat women gain less attractiveness than fit women by wearing tight clothes - great, no problem; I am just saying that they don't lose it.

It's been too long since I illustrated anything on here, so let's do so with a plot:

If you still aren't convinced, it might be worth pointing out that the mistake I am accusing people of making is actually a very common one in human reasoning. It’s easy to think that something is a certain way (i.e. unattractive) because of something rather than in spite of something. In other words, it is very easy to believe that a fat woman is unattractive because of her tight clothes, when the reality is that she is unattractive in spite of the tight clothes. The tight clothes make a woman's BMI a little more evident, so people are more prone to make this logical leap; but that doesn't mean they are right in doing so.

Conversations like the one above happen because men like to indulge in the idea that fat women are unattractive. It makes them feel better about their own sexual attractiveness to look down on someone else’s. If they have to slip through a logical loophole in order to do so, they aren't going to lose sleep over it. And the girls who mock fat girls for wearing tight clothes usually just aren't secure enough with their own bodies to wear something that tight. They aren't mad at what you are wearing, they are mad because it reminds them of their own insecurities. Of course, it is easier to mock the fat-but-confident girl than it is to face up to your own body issues, so that is exactly what they do.

Anyway, fat and overweight ladies: don’t be shy about wearing tight stuff to the gym, bikinis on the beach or tight dresses to the club. You can ignore the guys and girls that claim you should cover up, because their complaints say a lot more about their self-confidence (or lack thereof) than anything about how you look in spandex. And yoga pants might not make you look like a supermodel, or even thin, but they still turn guys on more than your baggy jeans.

Related Posts

1. What Men Think About Your Weight

2. Feminine Beauty is Highly Controllable

3. "Because Of" versus "In Spite Of"
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An Interesting Hair Experiment...

I want you to help me conduct an experiment.

For a couple of years now I've realized just how much I am attracted to the hairstyle that most women call "half-up, half-down" or more simply, "half-up." Whatever it is called, I love it when girls wear their hair the way the women in these pictures are wearing it. It is extremely sexy and elegant at the same time, and immediately draws me to a woman. It is almost uncanny how much it affects my judgement of a woman's appearance. I find myself checking out bigger girls who are wearing their hair that way, or losing interest in (previously) attractive women once they change from that hairstyle to another, or else staring at a picture of a normal girl, not understanding why I am attracted, only to eventually realize that her hair is half-up.

I've thought a lot about why I like it so much, but nothing makes sense. I've never dated a girl who wore it that way often, or even had a crush on one who did. My mom or sisters never really wore their hair like that, my babysitters didn't, my teachers didn't - no one did. The only semi-believable reason I can think of is that some of the female Disney characters (who for most men my age were the first icons of female beauty) wore their hair like that, and maybe left an impression on me; though I don't remember being particularly attracted to one more than any of the others. It isn't an overly popular hairstyle in the United States. In fact, it is practically never worn in comparison to, say, Turkey and Italy or Lebanon (and probably other Mediterranean countries), where it is extremely popular.*

In any case, this has puzzled me enough that I've started asking my male friends what they think about this hairstyle; and I've been surprised to hear how much they agree that it is really attractive. In other words, maybe it isn't just my personal taste.



So here is what I would like you to do: the next time you go out, wear your hair in some variation of the "half-up" style depicted here, especially if it is not a style you usually wear. Go out like you normally would and pay attention to what happens. Then, in the comments of this post, report your findings. Let me know what comments you receive - positive or negative - and let me know if you had more or less (and better or worse) attention from men. You can also comment on the type of men if you notice a trend. Get your girlfriends to do the same on another night (so that you aren't all wearing the same hairstyle - awkward) and see how it works for them, or have them leave their own comments.

As motivation, here are some thoughts about how participating in this experiment could benefit you:

1. You might discover a hairstyle that looks good on you.
2. I've been told it is an "easy" hairstyle to make and wear.
3. By taking a fashion risk, you will better understand what hairstyles look good on you.
4. You will expand your comfort zone, and therefore your confidence.
5. Because this hairstyle is not very popular in the countries that most of my readers are from, you will most likely stand out from other girls - in a good way.
6. You will contribute to the pool of knowledge about what men like.

I'll look forward to seeing the results.

_______________________________

* The fact that all of these countries are more sexually polarized than the United States is another hint at what I suspect might be the reason why men find it so attractive.

Related Posts:

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2. How to Improve Your Hair

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Things to Avoid on Your Internet Dating Profile

I've spent some time recently trying online dating, and while I can't offer too many rules about what you should put on your profile, I see a lot of things that routinely cause me to cringe. Here is a list of ways to avoid them when you are creating or updating your profile (in no particular order):

1. Don't post pictures of yourself with hotter girls. This will only serve as a reminder to the guy checking you out that there is something better out there that he can't get. The crop function in your photo editor exists for a number of good reasons, and this is one of them. Yes, the rule applies to sisters and mothers too.

2. Don't only post pictures of yourself alone. This make you look like a loner, i.e. someone who other people have collectively decided is not worth hanging out with. Also avoid photos of yourself taken by yourself. These are even worse.

3. Don't start your profile with a list of things you don't want in guy. In fact, don't include that list anywhere. This is a universal sign of a bitch. If you even have the inclination to make such a list, consider revamping your personality. I have seen smoking hot girls that I would have loved to message until I read their "about me" section, at which point I realized they were high-maintenance, obnoxious and a waste of time.

4. Don't start describing yourself by saying how much you hate doing so, or how bad you are at it. So many girls do this. It sounds insecure and sets a bad tone. And don't be apologetic about your inability on top of pointing it out; this only adds to the effect.

5. Don't advertise how much you love your dog. Men all know (either consciously or subconsciously) that women in their twenties buy dogs as a substitute for male companionship. It makes you look lonely and needy. Post pictures with friends instead.

6. Don't post only modeling pictures, or only "artsy" ones. Any girl can look hot in a photo. Show us that you can look hot normally too.

7. Don't have a list of "Don't message me ifs" This invariably sounds like bragging about how many messages you get, and no one likes this kind of self-aggrandizement. It makes you look vain and high-maintenance. If you are hot, we already know you get hit on a lot and don't need your reminder; if you aren't, we know you are lying and it makes you look pathetic. So either way, don't do it.

8. Don't post pictures of yourself looking sad. There is nothing attractive about them. Nothing. You should be smiling in as many photos as possible. If you have a tendency towards depression or melancholy, he doesn't need to know about it yet.

9.  Don't post pictures that are too small or show you at a distance. You might as well post nothing.

10. Don't be too brief in your personal descriptions. Men need something to message you about. If you only write that your favorite things in the world are your mom, your dog and your iphone, he is going to be more or less forced to send you the shitty stereotypical "hey you're cute" message. And it's your own fault.

11. Don't post your favorite pictures of yourself. They are almost definitely not the most attractive pictures of you. Have a straight male friend help you choose them. At the very least, get input from straight men about which picture to set as your profile picture, since this is by far the most important one for attracting new guys.

12. Don't be afraid to show some skin (assuming, of course, that you have the body for it - but be liberal in making that decision). Men don't like whores but they don't like prudes either. Tasteful bathing suit shots are smart, not slutty, and will continue to be until men stop liking sex.

13. Don't fill your profile with cliches. The top-notch guys out there are looking for women who stand out. Beauty will never make you stand out because it is too common and too temporary. Online profiles are plagued with the same lists of likes and dislikes, the same list of favorite books, movies and activities. Every girl likes going out on some Friday nights and spending others at home with a movie and a glass of wine. Every girl loves her dog and her mom and her friends. Every girl wants an intelligent and attractive, confident man. Stop saying these things. Men assume they are all the case anyway. Say something interesting. Everyone is interesting in some way or another, but very few people have the ability to communicate it. Spend some time thinking about this before you start typing.

In general, this post on OKCupid's blog will be hugely helpful in learning what pictures to post: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/

Sexy Versus Cute

Taylor Swift

Some girls have expressed their disappointment when I've told them that they look "cute" rather than "sexy" or "hot." I used to respond to their reaction by claiming that it was unwarranted. After all, cute is still attractive. But in the back of my mind I knew that my compliment was mildly backhanded, even though it was never my intention.

To one degree or another, all women want to turn heads and make men's jaws hit the floor; and they know that "cute" doesn't elicit this kind of reaction. But growing up, most girls are not given the freedom to dress or act in a provocative manner, so they don't get to "practice" looking sexy. This is compounded by the fact that most parents have somewhat outdated ideas of modesty, in the midst of a trend towards sexually explicit fashions. Because girls grow up dressing cute, they become comfortable in the types of clothes, hairstyles and makeup that create a cute look. Ultimately this means that your average girl is only just learning how to pull off "sexy" when her desire to do so is strongest (i.e. in her twenties). This lack of experience, coupled with her desire to look hot, can lead to a crippling unwillingness to take the risks that are so necessary to mastering sexiness (or any new look, for that matter).

However, both looks can be achieved by any woman. Just because you are short or have dimples does not mean you cannot be sexy, in the same way that height or sharply shaped eyebrows don't preclude the possibility of looking cute. The main difference is that it takes more risk, confidence and experience to pull off a sexy look. Risk is a matter of your own will, and confidence follows from risk - as does experience.

Let's consider the characteristics of both looks. I've made a list of associations that I have for the two styles:

Sexy:
Confident, serious, poised, seductive, postured, tight (clothes), mature, aloof, gorgeous, sexual, selective, sharp, directed, closed, pretentious, shrewd, desirous, hungry, dark, cat, fox

Cute:
Innocent, light-hearted, wide-eyed, adorable, affectionate, eager, naive, young, youthful, joyful, pretty, animated, open, trusting, candid, colorful, kitten

The "cute" associations are predictably child-like. The "sexy" associations are almost predatory, and certainly they point towards a very confident sexuality. Notice how in both pairs of pictures I've posted, the sexy woman's gaze is piercing - calm, confident and provocative. As I've said before, your style is projected much more by your personality and demeanor than by your clothes. You can probably imagine a sexy woman dressed in cute clothes, or vice-versa (imagine the cute Megan Fox on the right holding herself like and making the same expression as the sexy Megan Fox on the left - it would still be sexy, even without the tight dress and wild hair).  In order to achieve that look, you must adopt the associated personality characteristics. Once the mindset exists, the clothes follow naturally, or at least easily.

Megan Fox

As in most cases, feigning the mindset can help you to obtain it. You need to "fake it 'til you make it." By wearing sexy clothes even when you don't think you can pull them off (taking risks), you will realize that, actually, you can and do pull them off. This is because, in most instances, your insecurities about what you are incapable of wearing are unfounded. Once you try them and see that they work, your confidence will spike, and you can then repeat the process.

I routinely see very concrete things that sexy girls are doing or wearing, but cute girls are not. The cute girls are the same ones who want to look sexy but don't, the same ones that are dismayed by my "cute" compliments. There isn't some kind of natural inability holding them back; it is their state of mind, and then also (following from their mindset) their presentation:

• They aren't showing off their body by wearing tight clothes; they wear flowing clothes that mask their feminine form
• They aren't wearing fashionable clothes (though this isn't always what will make you look best, you also shouldn't usually be trying to emulate your mother's dress sense)
• They aren't wearing high heels regularly
• They aren't standing up straight
• They don't use makeup enough (of course there is such a thing as "too much," but there is also such a thing as "not enough")
• They don't wear matching underwear or lingerie
• etc.

Of course, you will only realize that you can pull off heels, or a tight dress, or a certain hairstyle if you do pull it off. So you need to put thought into what you are attempting. If you are overweight, a tiny cocktail dress probably isn't for you - though I'd actually be liberal about making this decision (tighter = hotter even for girls that are slightly overweight). So don't start buying hooker outfits arbitrarily, assuming that they will make you sexy; make sure it works with your natural look (notice I did not say personality).

If you are honest enough with yourself to admit that you aren't comfortable wearing heels or tight dresses, or certain types of makeup, then you are already ahead of the game (most girls simply make excuses about attracting the wrong kind of attention). You just need to take a step outside yourself for a moment, and acknowledge that there is no real impediment to you pulling off "sexy" any more than there is for the thousands of girls who regularly do so. While you might have a mental block against the idea of you being "sexy," I challenge you to list concrete things that make you different from the women that dress and act that way - and I am not only talking about celebrities like Megan Fox and Taylor Swift. I am talking about normal girls that you see out in nightclubs or bars, at work or in the mall. Chances are you have seen women who are less attractive than you (or fatter or older) doing it successfully. If they can do it, so can you.

One final note: there are very few women that are purely sexy or purely cute. Most are some mix of the two. Megan Fox almost always looks sexy and Taylor Swift almost always looks cute (which is why I used them as examples here). What is powerful about these two women is that they both clearly have the ability to pull off both looks if they want to; what is unfortunate is that neither of them do so very often (at least in the public eye). While being a mix of sexy and cute is better than being only one or the other, the ideal is having the ability to be completely one or the other at will. Since cute is easier to achieve, most women need to focus on building their confidence to look sexy.

Your Skin Color Matters

If you want to make yourself more attractive, you need to focus on three things when you are choosing your clothes: style, fit, and color. The need for a suitable style is obvious to most people - your clothes should reflect or magnify your personality. Simple enough. The need for the right fit should be obvious, but it is apparently less so to many women (and men). Too many people don't wear clothes that flatter their figure. However, color is the most misunderstood and neglected of the three, and it is arguably the most important.

In the same way that your clothes need to work with your shape and personality, they also need to compliment your color, or more specifically, your complexion, which is the combined appearance of your skin tone, eye color and hair color. Have you ever noticed how Latin and Mediterranean women almost always look amazing in red and black? or how middle eastern women look far better in the deeper shades of most colors (navies, olives, maroons, etc. as opposed to blues, greens and reds)? If so, you've noticed the effect of color working well with complexion. This effect has been studied, broken down, and rebuilt into a science for more than 100 years by students of fashion and cosmetology.

Here are a couple examples. Note how Courtney Cox and Katherine Heigl look better on the left, where they are shown wearing colors that work well with their complexion. The effect is subtle but it is strong.

If until now you've chosen colors based on something you saw a friend wear, or colors you "just like," there is a good chance you look bad in them. Men notice this, even if only subconsciously. If you haven't taken the time to learn what colors make you look best, you are throwing away potential attractiveness, and therefore undercutting your chances with men. I've observed in many instances that a woman is far more radiant and attractive due to her choice of a color that magnifies her natural beauty. The effect is significant.

I won't tell you how to choose your best colors, because there are other resources that can tell you far more than I. My main goal is to simply to convince you that color matters. But I can point you in the direction of a couple of those resources...

The best book I've found for women about color is called Color Me Confident. I bought a few different ones for men and women, and this one blew the others away (as did its counterpart for men). I like it because it uses modern celebrities as examples, does a good job of explaining the categories it uses to group complexions, and also has sections about the fit of clothes and makeup as well.

This book could reliably be your only resource. However, I have one other suggestion. Find a female celebrity that has your complexion (including eye color, which makes a lot more difference than you'd think) and spend some time looking at images of her on the internet, paying close attention to the colors she wears. Try the following: do an image search for her name and a color, and scan the results. Pay attention to how many instances there are of her in that color. Just as importantly, pay attention to what doesn't come up when you do these searches - i.e. the colors for which you cannot find many instances. Take Penelope Cruz for example. Click on each of the following image search links and notice how the results show whether or not the respective color (and what shade) works for her, based on the collection of images that appear in the search results:

Penelope Cruz Red 
Tons of instances of her wearing red, and she looks smoking hot in it (Latin women...)
Penelope Cruz Blue
Plenty of instances of her wearing blue, but notice how in most it is navy rather than a lighter shade
Penelope Cruz Orange
Basically just one orange dress, and notice how it is a burnt orange rather than bright

There are also a ton of websites out there that either describe how to choose colors that work for you, or else offer online (or in-person) consultations. There are some good videos on YouTube as well. While searching for some of the pictures above I bumped into a few good blogs, which have a lot of examples of color done well, as well as explanations of the theory. Take a look:
http://seasonalcoloranalysis.blogspot.com/
http://12blueprints.com/
http://www.prettyyourworld.com/

While it should only take an hour or so to learn the principles and figure out what are your best colors, it can take much longer to implement them in your wardrobe. It won't be easy to overcome some of your misconceptions. Someone may have told you once that pink was your color (for example), and you've worn it ever since, convinced by the confidence of their compliment that it made you look good. But their statement may very well have been wrong, in part or completely - even if you thought they knew what they were talking about when it came to fashion. Maybe they just wanted to make you feel good. Treat every color (or color combination) as suspect until you know it really does work on you. Be prepared to throw some of your clothes away.

I know these things because I paid no attention to my own color for years, and my appearance suffered because of it. Sometimes I would put on a shirt and recognize that it looked good on me, but I would never know why. Frankly, I never really wondered - I was just content that it did look good. And when I finally learned about the need to address my complexion and learn what looked best on me, I started to realize why those shirts had looked good. In fact, my memory of those instances eventually served as examples in figuring out which complexion I had and what would work well with it.

So if you aren't up to speed on your color, go buy the book, do some research online, and hit the mall. Men notice, and it will make a difference.

You Can Control How Attractive You Are

I already have a fairly lengthy post making this point, but I am not convinced I made it strongly enough. I want to present it again in another medium, namely, photos.

Example one:

Notice the difference between Scarlett Johansson's attractiveness in the two photos above. The contrast is impressive. On the left, where she is dressed the way many American college girls dress for their morning classes, I'd say she is about 5, and I am probably padding that number just because I know she is a celebrity and can look the way she does on the right, where she is close to a 10. The only uncontrollable element of Scarlett Johansson's attractiveness between the two photos is the lighting, which counts for very little. Same girl, different level of attention paid to her appearance, dramatically different result.

It is true, of course, that Scarlett Johansson has professionals working with her to help her look this good. However, I could not disagree more that cosmetologists make a difference in excess of what any girl can do for herself, assuming she is willing to invest the time and effort to learn how. And I don't think the amount of time or effort required is as large as you might think. Cosmetologists are professionals only because they know how to make any woman attractive. They know the principles and are experts at applying them quickly for a variety of people. But you only need to become an expert on one person - yourself - and this is significantly easier.

Here is another example, less extreme but still telling:

On the left, Jenna Fischer is about a 5, maybe a 5.5. On the right, she is a 7.5. The difference is in her hair, posture, makeup and the color of her clothes. If she wore better clothes still I think she could get up to an 8.5, but she rarely does, judging from the photos I could find online.

Another example:

On the left, Carrie Underwood is a solid 7. On the right, she is a 9.5. In this case, the discrepancy has a lot to do with wearing her best colors getting the right amount of contrast, her hair, eyebrow shape and the hoop earrings. I'd argue that Carrie Underwood has maximized her attractiveness in the right photo. Nakedness, heels and lingerie might bump it up a notch, but otherwise she is playing all the right cards.

Here is a a non-celebrity example:

I don't know who the girl is, but on the left, she is about a 3. On the right, I'd say she is a 5. In this case, most of the change comes from hair length (yes, she is probably wearing extensions, but eventually she could grow it), plucked eyebrows, better clothes and a little makeup. By losing weight, spending more time on her hair and choosing her clothes even more carefully, she has potential to be a 7 maybe even an 8. You wouldn't believe this by looking at the photo on the left, but it is much more obvious once the improvements have been started.

Here is Kate Gosselin:

Left: 2; center: 4; right: 7.5. That is an overall increase of 5.5 points, largely accounted for by hair length, clothes and most importantly, weight loss (apparently a tummy tuck too, but she did have sextuplets... I call it fair). I don't know if she could look much better, but she'd done a damn good job leveraging what she has to work with.

If you want to see more examples, try using the term "makeover before and after" in an image search, or search for pictures of celebrities without makeup. You might argue that all of the women above have pretty faces, so they all have some initial potential to be attractive. There is some truth to this, namely, that they have the potential to be more attractive; but it does not mean that a girl with an asymmetric face, enormous nose or irreparably crooked teeth is doomed to be ugly. I've seen pretty girls that match all of those descriptions. True, a girl like this probably can't become as attractive as Carrie Underwood, or maybe even Kate Gosselin. However, the ability to improve her look is still there; she will just have to focus on the other aspects of feminine beauty to make that improvement, and there are many to choose from. The main reason I didn't put up photos to demonstrate this is that I couldn't find any. Most of the "before-and-after" photos on the internet are of famous people, and most famous people have attractive faces. But consider Lady Gaga or Paris Hilton: neither of them have pretty faces, but both of them (can) look attractive. Also, consider this woman:

Although she actually has a decent facial structure, a lot of people would say that she has an ugly face if they only saw the left photo. But on the right, when the same face is presented well, it is clear that the problem is not facial structure, but rather, presentation. So be careful about assuming you have a bad face. Most likely you do not, and even even if you do, there is still a lot you can do to improve your look.

Anyway, the ultimate point, again, is that no one has to be ugly. By making an effort, you can drastically improve your appearance and attractiveness, and in many instances, girls can transition from "ugly" to attractive. And while you may think you have optimized your own look, it is unlikely that you have. Think carefully about your weight, the color and cut of your clothes, your hair style, grooming, makeup, posture, etc. All of these things can make a huge difference, and can be leveraged to increase you attractiveness.

The Importance of Heels

Heels are the single most powerful item in a woman's wardrobe for improving her attractiveness to men. I routinely recognize this when I go to nightclubs, where almost all of the girls are wearing them. I also notice it at work, where some of the women occasionally wear them, and I find myself suddenly taking a second look (normally I wouldn't look once, as they have about 20 years on me and need to work out). While having a general knowledge of clothing fit and color (for example) matters more, it is not a single item than can be put on or removed with the same simplicity of heels. Heels require no instructions. Most women understand the effectiveness of heels to a degree, but too few realize why and how well they work, and therefore have trouble using them to their full potential.

Some women believe that heels are effective because they make a woman's calves look good, and although this isn't entirely wrong, it falls short of the truth. The majority of women think heels are attractive because they make a women taller. But men are not attracted to women because they are tall. This may make a girl look imposing or powerful, but any student of the most basic aspects of sociology knows that men are not attracted to power (women are attracted to power). Men are attracted to sexual pleasure and fertility, so it should not be surprising that the potency of heels lies in their ability to make a woman look sexual, even if only mildy so.

When a woman wears heels, it points her toes down in a more graceful manner, makes her butt stick out, and pushes out her chest. Most importantly, it arches her back, which emphasizes her feminine curves, and is an unequivocal sign of intense sexual pleasure. Look through the ads in magazines like Cosmopolitan or Maxim if you are skeptical. In many of them (and all of them intending to display sexuality), the women are posed in such a way that they resemble at least one of the postures I've described. All of these are strongly attractive to a man, but they are also very subtle, which makes them all the more effective. Most men have no idea why a women looks better to them in heels; they just feel it in their gut. Ask them. You'll probably get a shrug and something like "because they make you taller?"

For the taller women out there, yes, you are at a slight disadvantage. Despite how much heels improve your posture, I recommend you not wear them very often if they make you more than one inch taller than most of the men you want to attract. Find your other strengths and do what you can to highlight them (for example, height probably means you have long legs, so work them out a lot and make sure you are showing them off).

For all of the other women out there, and especially those of you who are short or the perfect female height, wear them frequently, and be liberal about deciding when they are appropriate. Just like a man that comes dressed well to a casual event, a woman stands out when she wears heels at a dive bar or in the grocery store.

One Way To Improve Your Look

I am working on a couple posts about female appearance, and while doing some online research for them I came across this website:

http://lookbook.nu/

In the creators' own words, Lookbook is "a utility that allows members to document their evolving style & a collective gallery from which 'lookbookers' and non-members can draw daily fashion inspiration." Basically, it is a website where anyone interested in fashion and dressing well can create a profile and post photos of themselves in various outfits. The viewers can rank the images, or "looks," and there are lists of the highest ranked pictures, and in some cases, information about the clothes that are worn in the photos.

The feature of the site that I found most interesting, however, is one that I think could be infinitely useful to any girl trying to define or improve her personal look: the site suggests other users with a look similar to the one you are currently viewing, so that if you find a girl with a style you like, you can follow the suggestions to see more examples of the one that peaked your interest. By viewing many variants of your favorite look, you can more easily identify the elements that create it, and then duplicate them yourself. Whereas without this site you would only get to see instances of a given look rarely and by chance, now you can seek out many of them in a single location.

The other good thing about this site is that it gives you the opportunity to compare the same person in different outfits, and see what works and what doesn't. The observant user can learn some important lessons about fit, color and style just from browsing the galleries.

A word of warning though: a healthy portion of the people that go to the trouble of posting on sites like this are more interested in dressing fashionably than they are concerned with looking good. (No, the two do not always overlap, because female fashion trends are controlled by women and gay men.) Because there is no filter on what gets uploaded, trusting this site blindly is like trusting Wikipedia blindly - it isn't recommended, and you should always get a second opinion. But also like Wikipedia, the open format brings in far more useful information than any closed format ever could, and that enables the site to exist. Anyway, you will see a lot of weird bullshit along with the good stuff. As you browse, just remember that classics become classics for a reason.

Underwear Is Important

Men are barraged by images of women in their underwear. We see them in movies, on billboards, in magazines, on the internet - all over the place. This means that we are extremely used to seeing women wearing

(a) expensive underwear, and
(b) matching bras and panties.

Furthermore, the women wearing all this nice, coordinated underwear are hotter than 80 % of the female population. While I honestly believe a lot of girls could actually get close to that top 20 % if they worked at it, in the meantime, you can do yourself a favor by not wearing mismatched bras and panties. Your failure to do so only highlights the differences between you and the lingerie models that have long ago pegged our standards for female beauty. And this is one difference that takes very little effort to correct, but makes a pretty big difference. You can make all kinds of excuses about not having the money to afford nice stuff, but there is no excuse for not wearing a matching set. You can get that shit at Walmart.

And one more rant: I get it that girls throw on the matching or nice stuff when they know they are going to have sex. Great. Appreciated. However, it is infinitely more impressive to have spontaneous sex with your girl and find her wearing matching (or nice) underwear, because it is all the more rare. It says she pays attention to detail and is classy.

Feminine Beauty Is Highly Controllable

Advice abounds for women looking to score a guy, and some sources actually have solid suggestions. But while these sources tell women all kinds of strategies for being approachable or meeting new people, none of them address the most important matter: appearance. A number of the articles I've read have promising titles or sub-titles, but they qualify the initial admonition to "look good" with so many caveats and clarifications that by the end they've essentially told the reader to "be herself" - which is nothing more than a waste of her time.

The topic is avoided because women do not realize how controllable their appearance is. This is understandable, because if female beauty were not controllable, telling a woman she could attract more men if she would just improve her looks would be no more useful than suggesting a paraplegic man "just" learn how to dunk a basketball to impress women. On top of providing no worthwhile advice, it would serve as a painful reminder of her inadequacies. However, the notion that a woman's attractiveness is anything less than highly controllable is patently false.

Time and time again, I see the same thing: the women who aren't getting attention from men fall almost entirely into two categories:

1. Women that are unfit
2. Women that do not present themselves well

Hopefully you noticed something important about this list: it does not include women who have "ugly" faces, or even deformities. Obviously, natural good looks cannot be overlooked, but they are given far more credit than they deserve. It is the height of hyperbole - you might even say a myth - that women are either born attractive or not.

To drive this point home, I spent entirely too much time identifying the various components of feminine beauty and quantifying the importance of each one. The result of this effort is shown in the table below. (By clicking on the table or pie charts you can enlarge them.)

Notes about how I generated the numbers in the table can be found here.

• The 'Importance' percentages simply indicate how much each aspect listed matters to a woman's overall appearance. They collectively add up to 100 %, so they can be literally interpreted as a percentage of overall beauty.
• The 'Controllability' rankings indicate the amount of control a woman has over the various aspects of her appearance. 0 % represents completely uncontrollable aspects of beauty, while 100 % represents those that are completely controllable. Some items in the table are 0 % controllable to most people, but 100 % controllable to others (for example, breast size and facial structure are both alterable in extreme cases by plastic surgery). The controllability ratings for these items are a guess at the average between those extremes, based on the frequency of occurrence. Or, for example, even though a girl can't change her bone structure, 'height' is rated at a nominal 8 % because there is a small amount of controllability with the size of heels a girl chooses to wear.
• The 'Attention Deserved' is an index that is calculated by multiplying the Importance by the Controllability, and dividing the product by the collective sum of these products. This can be reasonably interpreted as the percentage of the total time spent on her appearance a girl should devote to each item in need of attention. So a girl that is overweight would be justified in spending 72 % of her time (that is, the time that she invests in her appearance) only on losing weight; or a girl whose clothes don't usually complement her complexion would be smart to spend 8 % of the time she invests in her appearance on shopping for clothes that work well with her look (or on earning extra money for that specific purpose). Obviously, no one is going to count the minutes or hours. The point, though, is that some things are worth spending more time on than others. Don't waste your time worrying about your eyelashes (1 %) when you are overweight (42 %) - go to the gym.

I've also put the data into a few pie charts. This is what you should care about (Importance Rating):

Components of Feminine Beauty by Importance Rating

This is what you should spend your time on (Attention Deserved):

Components of Feminine Beauty by Attention Deserved

Now, even though I have gone to rigorous ends to elicit these ratings from the recesses of my mind, obviously they are still relative to my personal taste. That being said, while men will all disagree over the minutiae of female beauty, few will disagree with the important aspects. This post should give you a solid idea of what matters to most guys, and how much.

While the numbers speak for themselves, I want to highlight one main point: notice how controllable the most important aspects of female beauty are. To wit:

• 18 % of feminine beauty is more than 100 % controllable. This means that if a girl is not opting to do these things, she is missing out on 1.8 points out of ten due to ignorance or a personal decision. Included in this 18 % are simple things like wearing heels and jewelry or removing excess body hair.
• 63 % of feminine beauty is more than 80 % controllable. This is the driving point behind this "analysis," expressed numerically. If you take nothing else away from this post, remember this. It means that you are in control of your appearance far more than you think. It means that the time and effort you put into your appearance will produce results. Do not worry if your gut tells you otherwise; your gut is informed by beauty pageants and "100 Hottest Women" lists, and a thousand other influences that both reinforce and reflect the notion that beauty is a matter of winning the genetic gene pool - i.e. a matter of 'haves' vs. 'have-nots.' This notion is bullshit. That 63 % of beauty is at least 80 % controllable means that no girl needs to be less than a five on the ten scale (0.80 x 63 % = 5.0). If you present yourself well and get in great shape, you will be above average. And for those of you that are naturally about average, the sky's your limit.
• Only 32 % of feminine beauty is less than 30 % controllable. In other words, there is very little about your appearance that cannot be improved.

One final pie chart to summarize these three points:

Far too many women fail to recognize the leverage they have over their own appearance. This leverage translates directly into control over the ability to attract men.

For photos of women improving their appearance, check out this post.

"The Wrong Kind of Attention"

I grew up surrounded by families that warned their daughters against wearing clothes that attracted “the wrong kind of attention.” When I was young I accepted this at face value, and understood (rightly) that these parents were trying to protect their daughters against men only interested in getting laid. It made sense to me (and still does) that the way a woman presented herself directly affected the way she was perceived - and most women didn't want just sex.

After I left home, I realized that this wasn't just a phrase used by the people around me; it was widespread. Even now, sometimes I will ask girls why they don't wear tighter clothes, or large earrings, or heels, and while they will usually make some excuse about comfort, they almost always follow it up with "and anyway, that would just attract the wrong kind of attention" - the same phrase, almost verbatim*. In any case, as I've progressed through my twenties and have gradually come to understand what it is that attracts me to a woman, I've come to realize that the notion of "the wrong kind of attention" is bullshit, for two reasons.

1. It assumes that a woman's clothing is responsible for others' perception of her sexual mores.

While there is a small grain of truth to this, it resides only in the most extreme cases (think: cheap hookers). The kind of women that would actually need to be reminded about attracting the wrong kind of attention are not the ones concerned with avoiding it. Conversely, the women actually getting warned about attracting purely sexual attention are almost always those who are in no danger of it. While this is sometimes because the girl wanting to avoid sexual attention has not been taught how to make herself sexually attractive to men, it is more frequently function of the fact that adornment and presentation are low on the list of factors indicating a girl's promiscuity. Her behavior is what matters, and girls that don't want casual sex don't usually act like whores. Here is a list of things that actually do attract the wrong kind of attention:

1. Going to bars and clubs known for casual hookups
2. Initiating contact with men
3. Fucking on the first date
4. Sleeping around (reputation)
5. Drinking too much
6. Swearing, being vulgar, etc.
7. Dressing like a cheap hooker (Note: expensive hookers dress well and should be emulated)

Dressing sexy does not tell a man you are easy. It shows a man you are beautiful, and nothing more - except maybe that you are smart and understand what men - all men - like (see below). I have seen far too many women with great bodies wearing baggy jeans or tops that don't show off their good proportions. And I have seen enough women simultaneously exude both sex appeal and class, that I have unshakable confidence in the possibility of that combination. Make it your goal.

Think of female sex appeal as the equivalent of male confidence: while arrogance (the excess) is a turn off, a healthy dose of confidence is not only acceptable, but necessary. Men who err on the cocky side get a shot with way more genuinely good girls than the men who humble themselves and demur.

2. It ignores the fact that men looking for easy sex and men looking for something more than sex are both equally attracted by appearance.

Those warning young girls to dress conservatively ignore the fact that by doing so, a girl not only avoids attention from "bad" men, but simultaneously destroys her chances with "good" men. The good men value appearance just a much as bad men; they simply have requirements above and beyond it. If all good girls were to dress conservatively, good men might eventually lower their requirements for physical attractiveness and presentation (though this is doubtful - I would put my money on them giving up getting a good girl). But as I mentioned above, this is not the case; all good girls do not dress conservatively. There are plenty of women who are conservative in their behavior, yet still dress to maximize their physical attractiveness; and these are the women that will be getting all of the attention from the good men.

When I have daughters I will raise them to respect themselves and behave in such a way that their self-respect is evident to the men around them. I will have their mother teach them how to dress so that they look both sexy and classy, and then I will finish their instruction by telling them how to filter out men who are only interested in impregnating them and giving them STDs. I will not tell them to dress like their grandmother (or probably even their mother - fashions change quickly) because this will leave them without options, and probably make them social outcasts.

---

* This is interesting, because this kind of viral popularity is frequently a feature of phrases that carry more emotional or psychological value than any compelling rational content. The mantras of nationalists (“Strength Through Joy”) or the rallying cries of political parties come to mind (“Country First” or “The Change We Need”). I am not surprised that this bears the same symptom.


Related Posts
1. Sexy Versus Cute
2. How to Get "The Right Kind of Attention"
3. The Most Important Time to Dress Well
4. There Is Nothing Modest About Loose Jeans

The Perfect Female Height

The perfect height for a woman is somewhere between 5' 2" and 5' 6". Most women think this is too short, but this is only because they misunderstand what men like about women. In this range, a woman can be sexy in heels without being too tall and cute without them. Men love women with the ability to be both.

Disclaimer: I am 6' 2" and this is only my opinion. The important part is the last sentence.